That's a tale of intertwined history to be sure, arfie. Probably a more pronounced version of the intertwined history all of us from dysfunctional families share. You know I posted a thread yesterday on it being my fatherly abuser's birthday. So today when I saw an anniversary post I made a beeline to show support.

These days invite reflection, which your post shows. That's healthy. They can also trigger reliving those days, which may be less helpful. Sounds like you have your boundaries ready for those phone calls you might get.

Thanks for pointing out the mixed feelings birthdays and anniversaries bring to those of us from families of abuse. It extends to Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Valentine's Day, too, for many of us who had fragile families explode on holidays. We can tell ourselves these are just days on the calendar like any other, and that's objectively true. But in our memories there may be reminders otherwise, and it's great we can say so here and be understood.

Support to you, arfie, as this anniversary recalls the suicide of a loved one, birthdays, and all manner of issues for reflection.

Muji

Arfie,

I am sorry to hear this is yet another thing you must deal with at present. May peace be with you this year.

As for me, I have canceled all holidays for mental health purposes.

Trying to treat it like a case of flu. Got some rough days to go through, but I will most likely survive this one, too. Take remedy breaks when I need to (guitar, meditation, and group time, so far) and keep on living best I can in between.

Small steps and big faith.
Prayers welcome.

Prayers your way. Keep posting. We're here.

Arfie- I appreciate how rough it must be.

We're here for you.