I went 13 years with weekly counseling with therapisI went 13 years with weekly counseling with therapists who weren't specialists in PTSD. I'm a civilian who survived 6 years in a combat zone overseas close up to combat. So I didn't qualify for VA help either.

Then after tons of meds and week after week of really gradual progress in talk therapy, I got a VA PhD in PTSD to see me as a private patient after work. Very expensive. But it changed everything.

He's in the Kansas City area, and I now live in Maryland since 4 years ago. But the change was lasting. If you live in the KC area, I'll share his name with you via message here. But if not, I can just tell you 13 years was too long to wait for his help, but when I got it, it made the difference.ts who weren't specialists in PTSD. I had PTSD from an abusive home growing up and from rape by a pedophile when I as 10. So I had it when war came into the picture, too.

I'm a civilian who survived 6 years in a combat zone overseas close up to combat. I was in a car that was bombed, and I already had PTSD when that happened. But back in the USA, I didn't qualify for VA help either.

Then after tons of meds and week after week of really gradual progress in talk therapy, I got a VA PhD in PTSD to see me as a private patient after working his VA day job. Very expensive. But it changed everything.

He's in the Kansas City area, and I now live in Maryland since 4 years ago. But the change was lasting. If you live in the KC area, I'll share his name with you via message here.

If not, I can just tell you 13 years was too long to wait for his help, to be sure. Yet when I got it, it made the difference. Hope you find your PTSD specialist for therapy, too.

this issue arises for manys ervice personnel who were not combat.... nurses, docs, etc., can find they do not qualify unless served in combat medical unit, even though they saw trauamatic stuff; support personnel; female military victims of rape by fellow soldiers; i have heard some nasty freaking horror stories... in my fam and elsewhere.
i would have to say that unless you cite combat service as a cause, you probably will have to go with civilian options. That said, see if there is a therapist who is a vet, they may have better ideas?

wish I had more help or hope but my secondhand experience is not worth kuch.

firsthand higs to you, however....

leo

sorry about typos, ipad keypad hates me

ANY help is ALWAYS appreciated, especially the way I was treated today by the front desk! Now i'm afraid to show my face in my own doctors clinic because the phone call ended with a big fuck you very much when he couldnt tell me why they kept changing my primary without telling me and not calling me back with appt times like promised. I had an incident there before as well with the social worker who is doing CBT therapy for vets. its a 20 minute session a week for 6 weeks. i tried it, and since i couldnt identify underlying beliefs she said I wasn't ready for this type of therapy and she didn't believe i was safe with my daughter!!! that was scary!!!

so im at a loss, im searching for help...

So sorry you're at a loss, so needing help. Wish I could offer more. Been there, too.

I am another vet who carried her PTSD into the Army with her. To give you a clue to my age, Combat PTSD was still being called Shell Shock when i went enlisted. Some of the best workshops and support groups I have attended have been through the VA. Some of the workshops I am aware of are gender and/or cause specific, others are not. It depends more on the facilitator than VA policy.

The VA is HUGE. The secret to getting help through the VA is to keep hammering and looking for the open door. Sometimes a back door works better than a front door. I notice the Seattle VA has a women's clinic. Have you tried there? They are probably separate from the psyche units, but referrals can expedite things. Nearby centers might have options, too. Don't get discouraged by the wait periods. Like the rest of the military system, there is allot of hurry up and wait involved.

But, don't put all your irons in one fire. Keep checking other options as well.

Good luck. Hope you find something.

I think one of the big problems is lack of very specialized help available... PTSD is a specialty within a specialty... ..Not enough people work in this field and it's very hard to find and afford good help

I'm in Canada and have been referred for treatment from being an inpatient for childhood PTSD....I can't find it period... Nothing's available... There's treatment for some PTSD.. trauma within a 2 year period....and that's it.....I'm unable to pay for private treatment and I probably could find a psychologist if I could afford a couple of hundred bucks an hour but it's not possible...
It does suck.... Big hug for you...xo

Very sorry for your troubles. PTSD is a terrible condition and despite the fact of going through therapy it still leaves us empty, angry, and confused.
I ask myself all the time: will this go into the grave with me? And the answer is yes, it will.

I wish there was just one day, just one day where I would just be left alone, no therapy, no work, no nothing, just me, just thinking about what I want to think about, just doing what I want to do.
No interference, I swear I am ready for the rubber cell soon.

Dracona, how long've you been trying to get help at the VA in your area? It sounds a little weird but when my parents needed help with a VA home loan (utterly unrealted) the local VA was *useless*----so they called the one in Pittsburgh and asked questions and got a ton of advice that they could then take to our local VA and "use" so to speak.

Big soft purrs,
Leo

When I read your post, your last line reminded me of "wounded healers"... Individuals who hve not yet heale themselves but are i a helping proession...

I was a counselor an case manager for nine years, but was not struck with my PTSD until my father died, who was my primary perpetator...

After that, I was relatively uneffective until I went on disability and had an opportunty to get a break from life and work on my issues...

I spend time wth a group of individuals in the military... Many of them have combat related PTSD... While I won't even begin to compare my experiences with them, I do understand the symptoms, the horror, the terror, the nightmares, the insomnia, the rage, among others....

If I just let them talk to me and not respond, I can see more of how lives are destroyedby untreated PTSD...

Seek help until you find a counseor with whom you connect... That is what I had to do. and I found one who saved my life...

Take care and be patient with yourself... LIla...

Being one of those wounded healers myself, thanks for the mention. It's tricky, humbly. Some days more wounded, some days more of a healer.

dracona, another thought off the wall.... my brain slept so i have function.... what about asking local police organizations?P lenty of police have stress disorders, etc.... worth a shot?

I'm a little calmer today. I can still feel anxiety over having had such a bad day yesterday, but today i feel like i can wait and find the right therapist.

The one I have now annoys me, and I really don't feel she understands past definitions, and I think she may be afraid of me.

but I will continue to go cause right now its what i have. I'm so tired of this... I know I will always have PTSD, but i hope there will be a time someday, where i can go a week or two without being triggered and falling off a cliff and turning into a little girl who was never loved.

Wounded healer, i haven't heard that before, but I suppose that is what I am. I'm glad there are others here who understand!

its strange, but I think my compulsion to help comes from anger with the system that was supposed to be in place, so i wish to create my own avenue and outlet for others, but I am truly becoming discouraged. I am taking the summer off of school... im so close to graduating but i feel the need to do some fishing and just not think about anything, or do anything. so im allowing myself the summer to do whatever healthy or relaxing activities I want. ive never done that before truly, never been able to. I hope it helps and a couple months will suffice. Ive always just kept moving, afraid that if i stopped i wouldnt start again.

Dracona, you will start again:-) A summer off will re-energize you:-)

I am not certain as to where you received your information. I have PTSD and I am not a Combat Veteran either. I recently completed CBT at the Spokane VA Center. They do not make any distinction as to whether a person served in Combat or not. You should probably look into that a little deeper. By the way, Thank you for your Service.

Glad you're feeling a little better, Dracona. I took notice when you said your current counselor seems to be "afraid" of you. That's sad. I don't know your therapist, so I don't have any room to judge.

I just hope for your sake that changes or you change counselors. We're the ones with the PTSD anxiety disorder, after all. So we don't need more anxiety from the person we need to help us feel safe, right?

As for where that "wounded healer" idea came from, it came from Henri Nouwen's book and it originally applied to minister. But it applies to anyone in the helping professions, if you ask me. So I think it translates.

Be well.

The Wounded Healer: Ministry in Contemporary Society Paperback
by Henri J. M. Nouwen

http://www.amazon.com/The-Wounded-Healer-Ministry-Contemporary/dp/0385148038/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1398221867&sr=8-1&keywords=the+wounded+healer+by+henri+nouwen