unomes: No, it is an official doctor. Not a quacks. According to him feeling it is dealing with it... A sort delayed pain, grief and sadness.

Might be I just have to complain a bit harder. I'll give that a try.. It simply has to be doable.

Thanks for your comment.

I was overmedicated to the point that I have permanent kidney damage. I had to go off of all meds after 18 years on meds. Sometimes it's hard, and I would have liked to take a pill for anxiety like I used to.

But I found ways to cope, like coming here regularly instead. On the other hand, being unmedicated I've had good dreams as well as nightmares for the first time in years, and felt good feelings as well as bad ones. Overall, I've liked it. But I didn't have a choice.

I will say that the pendulum swings between an emphasis on talk therapy on the one extreme and meds on the other. I entered therapy in the age of meds, with the physical result. It's water under the bridge now, but I think a balance of the two would have been the best medicine for me.

I think the choice here is yours. It's great your doctor says you have to face your pain. I am. I'm not sure it's all up to your doctor alone to make that determination. I think our patient vote counts, too.

So I only have an opinion, not an answer, but an opinion is what you're asking for. Good luck as you weigh the matter for yourself.

mujicaptsd. And an opinion is all I've asked for :)

I am sorry you were over medicated. I've seen the negative side of medication too, by others. I am through this very careful with drugs myself and would not accept them if I do not have the conviction it is necessary.

I agree his opinion on ptsd itself is a good one. It is comforting to know that all I've been through is nothing else than, in the given situation, normal and fitting the trauma. It is not unlikely, since I only met him once, we've to get to know each other better too.

Venting it on a board like this... yes, it does help too. I can only admit that is true.

Netien, I'm glad you feel helped, and that you and your doctor may get to know each other better and that that might help, too.

Well, I have C-PTSD as well and for many years I was severely clinically depressed. Only about a year ago was I finally doing well enough to not be considered "clinically."

To answer your question, I think yes, and no.

Will we need to feel what comes up as a result of our trauma to heal? Yes. Does that mean feeling it as much as humanly possible at all times? No.

In my dealing with SI and eating disorders as well as CPTSD, I have done a lot of work to "come down" back to earth and feel again from a state of numbness. A few times over.

I could not have made it this far without medication.

That being said I know I do not function without it, which may be where we differ.

But still, if you are feeling in danger of yourself, that does not need to be. In my mind, there is a point where one is no longer feeling the hurt from ones life and it crosses over into the realm of just being the toxicity of the disease.

Drawing from my treatment with PTSD specifically, I know that there is a lot of memories I need to process and I know there are a lot of hidden feelings I need to go through, but my counselor and I dont go digging until I feel totally stable otherwise. There is a different between processing and just aggravating the disease.

So will this process be painful? Oh yes. But that doesnt mean it has to be as painful as possible at all times.

Like others have mentioned, really make sure you are communicating your distress to your counselor. Even if you cannot find the words, just say that you dont know how to express how badly your feeling but you feel like they arent taking you seriously. In their profession it would be far from something new for a patient to not know how to express themselves.

Antidepressants won't cure the depression, but they will take some of the edge off, like a numbing effect, to make it more workable. You didnt mention anxiety but since its so commonly paired with PTSD and depression, Ill just throw in that those can be helpful too. There are kinds that are non addictive and can be very effective.

Keep us posted on how you are doing!

TwilightStar: I thank you for your comment.

I agree they should know not all patients are able to just pour out what bothers them so much.
They know I was suicidal at one point. I came in with the help of a suicide hotline. That is not something one does easily... They seem to willingly skip the subject. I was not questioned about it, nor about SI. They simply concluded I was a very rational person. Such a person can not be in things like SI to prevent worse.. I have no idea why. I seemingly just have a calm and sunny face. But the person I seem to be and the one I am... They do not even look familiar.

I know though, it is my responsibility to speak up.. I am really gathering all my courage to discuss it the next meeting. I have to.

Venting this all here... without being judged... I can only thank you all.

I agree with him to a certain point...and if he's right than i deserve a medal.Because i have never tolerated anti-depressants and only take something IF my insomnia is really, really bad.

To me the side effects are worse than the depression itself and i'm diagnosed with major, clinical depression.....But waking up in the morning with a med bitter taste in my mouth, dry mouth, and when i been on them i wasn't clear on exactly what i was feeling is very confusing to me.....never liked it.

But i still think that is kind of healing anything else without something to ease the pain while you do heal.....nothing wrong with it.