I am under the weather which is a werid statement because how can anyone be under a weather. But I have been low energy and mood even though I still smile. I am not sure what to do but I am here. I am going to soon be in  nine months point of one of the rare conditions that I was diagnosed with. It is the major of the two.

I am more isolated than normal because of my energy level and if I don't go out no one visit. But most people have their own issues. My therapist is working harder with me and double her sessions with me to twice a week. 

I am trying to give myself reason to keep propelling forward and it works but I have to make myself. People think everything comes easy for me and I am so good but my therapist and I discussed people like me struggle the hardest and most times things don't come easy. She my therapist used the word "resilience" to describe me. Yet today I threw all the labels back at her and said that I am tired of all labels. I am good and bad labels. 

I find myself inside my head pushing people away again but trying to fight it. I think people are fake for the most part yet I must honestly say that I met some very nice people in my life and especially lately. 

Treatment was increased and I don't think my body like it but I may have to just accept it and whatever whatever. But I try to smile and find reason to. Plus keep writing in my gratitude journal. I don't go by what I feel because feelings changes everyday. I have a lot to say but not complaining. And I don't know what to write for the subject so I just said "clueless". Things aren't very bad and some good things have been happening. But my body has a mind of it's own. And when people are cold it makes things worse but thank God for those who are very caring and thoughtful people