Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
HI, I've been talking with a friend who also has PTSD. I was saying that I really f....cked up by working as a hooker for 18 years. And - there's a lot of damage done, which I accept as consequences for my actions. My friend is saying I couldn't help it - I had a compulsion from the early childhood rape (true) and I couldn't hold down a straight job.
I feel uncomfortable to excuse myself and say I couldn't help it at all. I feel that, as much as I can understand why I went there - I had a choice. It wasn't MUCH of a choice, but I made a choice.
It was, way back then, extremely difficult to hold down a straight job - I was in one, and had failed the medical twice. Then, at the age of 30, I quit this straight job and went to the brothels.
I felt at home in the brothels - deep down at home.
So - what I'm asking is - where is choice and responsibility, and where is having compassion for my bad choices, and understanding. How does it fit together?
I did have a great experience last year - I could see how I'd really f...cked up my adult life - but I felt NO blame, and no excuses.
It really doesn't feel right to say I had no choice, and was just a complete victim.
I feel uncomfortable to excuse myself and say I couldn't help it at all. I feel that, as much as I can understand why I went there - I had a choice. It wasn't MUCH of a choice, but I made a choice.
It was, way back then, extremely difficult to hold down a straight job - I was in one, and had failed the medical twice. Then, at the age of 30, I quit this straight job and went to the brothels.
I felt at home in the brothels - deep down at home.
So - what I'm asking is - where is choice and responsibility, and where is having compassion for my bad choices, and understanding. How does it fit together?
I did have a great experience last year - I could see how I'd really f...cked up my adult life - but I felt NO blame, and no excuses.
It really doesn't feel right to say I had no choice, and was just a complete victim.
i sure made some bad choices. phewww...but i'm not as brave as you to be able to write them down.
But there's no way I'm going to judge you for what you did. There are countries where prostitution is perfectly legal, so what exactly is this self-blame about? I've noticed that the contempt for prostitutes and performers in adult entertainment often comes from the very people who make regular use of both of these things.
Prostitution is a bad thing, in my opinion, because it spreads diseases. Other than that, it seems to me that it's just a symptom of a warped society that treats women like commodities, whether through prostitution or through matrimony.
Stop worrying about this, I doubt if you hurt anyone by what you did.