My ramble is how do I measure working in the big fancy hospital dream job to living in a room 2 feet from a guy who overdosed on Heroin, called the cops who show up after he is taken out by ambulance, leaving me with drug crap all over the shared bathroom, his room, and I was considered homeless and spoken to like I was using too!! NO!, wrong place, wrong time again....every step seemed wrong, even forward steps, but being used and surviving, for me has built up walls that have the marks etched in stone, so to speak, that remind me that I must measure or I will not see my progress, even tho the marks, the memories will not leave..,and when yet again the curcle goes around, I can only remember forward was forward, even if it seems backwards in my maze of mental illness! To survive what you did arfie, to being Mother, Wife, Homeowner, I am thinking maybe requires a very long measuring tool..,that is a huge accomplishment to me! Hugs of Support

So sorry for all you are suffering, cheese.

Great admiration for the strength and courage to offer hugs of support in spite of it.

Don't know about measuring life events...I think my ability survive is enough, and just trying to do my best each day. In the book "The Four Agreements" by Miguel Ruiz, and "Love and Anger, the parental dilemma" by Nancy Samalin have been guides for goals and self-acceptance growth. Take care, ML

Cheese, my brother was a heroin addict, heroin didn't kill him, liver cancer did. I feel such pride for my brother, his life struggle from heroin, to digging ditches, ended with working for the Government Super Fund. Seeking out major pollution being make by corporations, investigation, bringing info back, prosecution and multi-million dollar fines, in addition to having to clean up the toxins. My family shame, hidden by pain, are like many hidden stories of pain known to many in life. I'm given what I can cope with, when I can't cope I look for help, and my faith and hope bring me the knowledge, life is ever changing and this too shall pass. Take care, ML

Arfie,I did not mean to hijack this thread, and ML, your brother did such a service helping clean those Superfund sites, even with his own personal struggle, I see evidence of charting/measuring progress in the journey,or looking back and reflecting on it. For me, I was suppossed to be living in a safe place for women only, affected by trauma/domestic violence/waiting for disability, but the female landlord was herself an abuser, brought in men, drug addicts to control. The good thing that happened after the Heroin incident, is that I was moved out, and I called big city shelters to blow her cover scam, so no other woman would be traumatized by her again. I could not reflect on it at the time, it took a toll on me as PTSD does on us, it took time to be able to look back and reflect, God Bless you all !

Hijacking encouraged on my threads, cheese. A recurring element in my own healing journey is arriving at unexpected places. My peer supporters are my number one guides to those unexpected places. Seems to me that being open to wander those unexpected places are where I find my most potent healing mojo. Thank you or being you in my life.

My family recently lost somebody else's heroin addict son/brother/father to a natural, peaceful death at age 70. His family members were all quite justified in their unforgiving anger toward him. So was the State when they jailed him for quite a number of years. He came into our lives while my 17 year old son (now 36) was spinning viciously out of control during the classic on-set of his Narcolepsy. We didn't have that name to call it at the time. I have never felt so helpless in my entire, combative life. This unforgiven heroin addict caught my son --I still don't know where or how-- and encouraged him to make a pallet on his tool shed floor. As crude an arrangement as I have ever seen. . . I believe he saved his life. I wept in gratitude when he brought my son to "pick up a few things." In my family, he was/is an angel.

Indeed, indeed, by which yardstick shall we measure?

People talk about the "danger of drugs". But as much as they talk about abuse "being horrible", they don't talk about the "danger of abuse"...which is the root of so much drug use and self destructive behavior...

Just a thought.

Arfie, I had tears in my eyes reading...indeed an Angel meant to be right where he was to save your son's life...there almost is no way to measure that act of kindness♡

patti...I agree,...alot to think about in there!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MazXSlekckI

Yes, setbacks happen. I am not measuring my progress but i can for sure see it. i have come a long way, even in short periods of time but there are things i still need to work on. pain and worry seems to be less often and anxiety is getting under control. one thing i can measure is i am on way less meds and it has changed how my body and mind reacts to stuff. maybe when we are thinking less about how we are doing we are doing better :)

you have been through a lot arfie and learned a lot. maybe a lot is good enough