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can't canter

arfie
arfie

one of the ponies on my not-so-merry-go-round is, "the can't canter." this pony sure can rock as it goes up and down over all the things i can't do in life. up on the days my can't list gets me out of unpleasant activities. down on the days my can't list is blocking my growth potentials. back and forth. up and down. round and round.


this morning finds me wondering if can't = donwanna. on the days where my can't list is blocking growth potentials, it seems like i can scratch the surface and find a lack of desire to carry through. it's one thing to dream about living in sichuan. the realities of travel and culture crossings are a bit more tedious.


methinks the math on the days my can't list gets me out of unpleasant duties is far simpler. i donwanna do that parent teacher conference. think i'll just call in crazy.


I.F. i am making sense here, methinks the difference between "can't" and "donwanna" is in the reframing. when i sincerely can't, bring out the pity pot. nothing left to do but sit and feel sorry for myself and maybe beg some pity from the world around me. when i sincerely don't want to, i still have the right to say no. asserting my right to say no empowers more than pities.


am i making sense?

Community Leadermujicaptsd
mujicaptsd
Totally, arfie, when my "can'ts" get in the way I have to take another look and see if it's a "wanna v donwanna" situation instead. It doesn't always alter my decision, but if it's "donwanna" then it's time for me to own up to it as something that may have to do with learning about my boundaries.
pineappleSun
pineappleSun
My "donwanna" can be ignored by me because I feel it is selfish. Hence growing up in a society where your told its selfish for saying "no" unfortunately......look how far this has got me.

Therefore my "can't" is not realizing my potential, or feeling like I don't have the opportunity because of some outside obstacle/barrier out of my control.

As Muji said it could be boundary setting.

Or it's I'm not interested.
arfie
arfie
ignoring my donwannas is repression and sets me up for resentments and potential implosions. acting on my donwannas keeps my approach sincere. no, i donwanna pay my taxes, but i can do what needs to be done and maybe commiserate a bit with the tax clerk who donwanna be there, either.

different by an attitude
attitude counts
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