Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group

Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.

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nelliefay 03/23/2011

Hi. I have had complex PTSD in the past, and for a long time, but am doing a lot better these days. It does seem that healing is possible, which is a big suprise to me because I thought it would never end. At this point, I am wondering what it was all about and if any good can come of all the suffering. I can't see that there's any spiritual PURPOSE to my life, because that would mean the early childhood abuse was part of a plan. That concept offends me no end. But now that I am here, at the age of 52, I don't want to be all bitter and twisted because of what I've been through. What have I gained? Can good come of it?
I'm just sharing where I'm at to hear from others. I feel pretty wise, and that I can be supportive to people. I also am happy that I have the capacity to care. But if I had a choice, I don't think I would volunteer for the life I've lived, ESPECIALLY the early childhood abuse. I guess what I need is acceptance. Because it all happened. there's always going to be people better and worse off than myself.
also, I'm in AA, so I practice gratitude for what I have got. I don't recommend this when in pain, but when in a reprieve, it really helps to think of what's good in my life.
I'm also writing here because I wanted to say hello to everyone and thanks for your contributions.

deleted_user 03/23/2011

The purpose,I think to be yourself. Yes, I would not wish the lives we have had on anybody but we are all, I think, the sum total of our experiences, both good and bad.For myself, if my life had been different who is to say if I would have found my passion and talent for painting ?
As for a spiritual purpose, I cannot honestly say I perceive one. I believe that stuff happens, even if it is bad stuff to good people. This does not mean I am bitter about what has happened as, even with all my problems, I like the life I have now.
This just my opinion and it would certainly be easier to believe in some kind of plan rather than mere happenstance.
Hello to you too. You seem to be another thriving survivor and I commend you for this.

deleted_user 03/23/2011

There is no grand plan here...

Personally I think it is a bunch of bs to say there is a reason for what we've gone through. I don't understand others needs to ascribe meaning to abuse. SHITTY PEOPLE DO SHITTY THINGS. Period. No meaning behind that. And no, not everything happens for a reason. Life just happens. I think that many need to answer the question "why me?", hence the need for some sort of meaning.

Have you heard of radical acceptance? It's worked wonders for me and others.

deleted_user 03/23/2011

hey itsalways... -- i sooo agree with you

tell me about the RADICAL ACCEPTANCE please

YREKADC 03/23/2011

ITSALWAYS; YEH WHAT IS RADICAL ACCEPTANCE?? MORE INFO PLEASE.. I BELIEVE THE UNIVERSE HAS NO PLAN. IT HAS NO MERCY, NO CONSCIOUS. IT IS A MIRACLE ANY OF US SURVIVE PAST OUR FIRST YEAR. AS ITSALWAYS SAID SHIT HAPPENS EVEN TO THE BEST OF US. AN I AM THE BEST,, JUST ASK ME.
NELLIE HI AND I ACCEPT YOU JUST AS YOU ARE. I AM 120 DAYS SOBER MYSELF/ ON MY OWN. AFTER 35 YEARS OF SELF MEDICATING. IT IS TRUE I AM STUBBORN AND HAVE BEEN KNOW TO CUT OFF MY NOSE TO SPITE MY FACE. ONE DAY AT A TIME.
HAVE A JOY JOY DAY

deleted_user 03/23/2011

Radical acceptance is a DBT skill. It involves accepting something WITHOUT judging it bad or good. I know a lot of people are in denial about their trauma, and in my case I was in denial regarding my childhood abuse. I always brushed it off, saying it wasn't abuse, or that it wasn't that bad. It wasn't until I was able to accept the trauma as part of my past that I was truly able to start healing. I am able to accept the abuse as part of my past, but i am not judging it good or bad. I know a lot of people may think that by accepting the trauma you are somehow saying it wasn't that bad, but with radical acceptance this isn't the case since there is no judgment involved. And it can work with anything you may be in denial about, or have a hard time accepting. In my experience, denial keeps me from moving forward, and radical acceptance really helps me move out of the realm of denial.

deleted_user 03/23/2011

I love it! I can relate. I wouldn't trade MY STUFF... because I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. I'm really happy for you! Looking forward to my time coming! You gave me some HOPE! :)

YREKADC 03/23/2011

itsa, that is awesome . i never considered i was in denial in the begining, when I was first diagnosed. I actually didn't know that every family wasn't like mine. You mean every step/dad didn't beat up his wife and kids?? no way!! What do you mean i didn't have a normal childhood?? I think my g-pa told me something simular, but that is really great info thanks again.
You folks just tickle the shit out of me.. thanks

deleted_user 03/24/2011

wow.... i am so understading this..but what is DBT? i do deem my abuse as bad, very bad and cant seem to get past how you forgive someone for something they stole ad did to you for years when they will never acknowledge it... is that anger talking?
i like the idea of radial acceptance but does it apply still when you do judge your abuse as horrid and unspeakable and in my eyes unforgiveable??

deleted_user 03/24/2011

btw...you guys are awesome!!!

nelliefay 03/24/2011

Itsnotallok, I'm with you. I need to accept what happened to me, because there's no denying it did happen. I don't forgive, but for my own sake I need to let go resentment. This, to me, is a journey. And, to let go resentment, I need to first accept my resentment fully. that's what my therapist taught me. I was telling him one day how much i hate paedophiles or some such, and he said I'd find higher power right down there in the depths of my hatred. there's no doubt that child abuse is horrific.
In 1987, I had extreme trauma on board from a number of areas, including adulthood. I was extremely angry and resentful. It's 24 years later, and I live largely free of anger. Mind you, certain topics can make me angry. I'm a lot better, and a lot happier, but it took time and help. all the best to you.

deleted_user 03/24/2011

Hello, my name is Michele. I was diagnosed with PTSD last Monday...reading all of your comments i felt compelled to reply. I'm 38 years old and I wondered for a long time if any good could come of it. I too was physically, emotionally and sexually abused in my childhood. I wasnt able to find some sort of peace from what I went through until I accepted Christ Jesus into my life as my personal Lord and Savior. Now I know I have a purpose and all things do happen for a reason. I wouldn't change anything of my past even the most horrible parts. I am who I was created to be and everyday I am growing closer to our almighty Father. I had to forgive my offender; my dad and once I did that and knew that when I forgive, he is also forgiven by Christ. After that the weight of my past was lifted. I have a lot ahead of me still as I learn how to live with PTSD in a new way. Forgiveness is the key to finally being able to move on.

deleted_user 03/24/2011

I would like to give a virtual hug to all of you on here!!

deleted_user 03/24/2011

I also think there was no plan.People like to ascribe more meaning than it merits to "for every action there is a reaction" that is part true but is not a boomerang effect necessarily.

If i pull a strig tha is holding a ball and the ball falls it most likely not gonna fall on my head but on an innocent passer by that is not ordain order that is just chance................
The same chance that a lot of us were victims of, someone elses thoughtless or evil actions and we were just innocent receipients of it.

The goodness part comes when despite all we've gone through we have chosen to remain good people and not emulate what was done to us.............. that is really remakable.

deleted_user 03/24/2011

great post BTW....big wooooot!! to all of us....group cyber hug!

deleted_user 03/29/2011

i am sorry guys, could someone help me out... i am still stuck on how to forgive someone who did such horrific things to you all you like, stole who you could be yet helped mold who you are today... i always say i am a kind loving person b/c i was taught everything there was about not being that way!! lol
still tho,
any more help or words about forgiveness when you are just now at age 45 able to feel safe enough to get angry... any grieve the loss of what could have been...
i am determined to rid myself of this controlling me and living the rest of my life for me... but forgiveness,--gosh, i stuck

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