I just got back from an appointment at the medical center over an hour's drive away.  I go a lot for treatment for my kidney disease, which I got taking PTSD meds that combined with the onset of undiagnosed diabetes, so I consider my kidney disease to be an adjunct of my overall PTSD now.

At the hospital they told me they need to do an endoscopy on Thursday of next week, kind of like a colonoscopy in reverse, shoving the camera down my throat instead of you-know-where.  I've had two colonoscopies now and was sedated for those and got through ok, and they tell me I'll be sedated for this endoscopy, too.  I imagine those of you here who've already had an endoscopy will tell me it was ok for you, too, not to worry.  I had to get a driver to drive me home sedated afterward.  Since I live alone that was an issue, but tonight I got a volunteer.  It's nice for people to offer to help out like that.  

It's just sinking in that even though I deal with the actual event, every "scopy," no matter where on my body, does trigger my PTSD in the lead-up time to the event.  So I'm posting here ahead of time to get some support to not get too squirrelly between now and next Thursday when I go in for the procedure.

TW

I was abused as a little kid by my father in his force feeding me at the table at meal time if I said anything about not liking my food, so hence the PTSD trigger of having something pushed down my throat.  I know I'll be all right, I tell myself, but it doesn't hurt to hear it from people who know what a trigger is like--from you all.