Hi Atec, I'm sorry you are going through this. It sounds like there are a lot of people hear who care about you and I hope you find some salvation and happiness out of this mess. Make sure you make your needs a priority, because your wife certainly isn't. If she doesn't respect you, she can't expect you to be generous and forgiving towards her in return. Best wishes.

"My wife and I are in agreement"
No you agreed on good faith that you both would abide by. She isn't and is actually using you for an ATM as Leo said and more.
At The Moment...Give me your car.
At The Moment...Give me your money
At The Moment... give me your word to support me while I sleep and do drugs with others.
At The Moment...take car of all business for our son so I can sleaze on your dime

At The Moment ...I don't care if there is food or home for you and our son. because the drugs take away my hunger and there is always a bed somewhere I can work into.


.
Atec, I hate this because I am in your corner and your son's. Are you trying to put up with it because you have lived worst conditions? We as children with trauma put up with pain too often and too long because we can look at it as not as bad as we have been through.

That was my mistake, the payment for me wasn't monetary so much as broken bones...and emotional unraveling, which is part of your too.

Your son will learn to say this too, if you don't secure safe conditions for both of you first. You know the statistics, you are one now and so is your son.
But there are many levels of reference.

Why not..
" I choose to remove negative influences" " I will not let someone around my son who does drugs and OD's. not caring about the emotional welfare of him"

I get visions of your son picking up leftovers from mom once she passes out or carelessly leaves them out. Or so scared he just wants to sleep.......Taking what she has , because she's sleeping right?
This whole situation is endangerment to your son on different levels he is not ready or equipped to handle.
You can't work things out because you are too close and she knows how to push buttons, so you can't be that close and work anything out. That's what the lawyers do, unattached objectivity.

Support, J.

As I said, major damage.

Hugs, Alex
I hope that you know that the right thing to do right now is to end it.
Patti

I am so sorry you are finding out more and more. Addiction is an awful problem and the pull of the drugs is stronger than any family bond, marriage, friendship etc. I am glad you have talk to her and decided on a divorce. I am a bit confused about why you are putting it of until Jan? living conditions are likely to get worse for you both between now and then. It might be time to look after you and your family first. It must be hard to see the one you loved like this and hurting you so badly with lies and cheating. Please try not to take it personally, it is the addiction and you cannot change that. She is the only one that can do that, just like we are the only ones that can change our lives, commit to living our lives and change the way we think. Yes, therapist can guide but if you are not willing to do the work, it makes no difference. The decision is yours, but my 2 cents would be to leave now and put your health and well-being first. It is just to painful to be part of this kind of thing.

Atec there are some full episodes of Intervention on Youtube... They might really help you to see addictive behaviour more clearly when you sit back and watch someone else... You can't save her... Trying to continue to rescue her is actually crippling for her even though you are trying to be kind...
She needs to hit bottom so that all she can see is up if she decides to reach out for help for herself... Big hug...xo

chiming in again to mention this.... Ypu have a choice between painful amputation and painful slow rot. Either way, it sucks, and the best you can do is save you and your son before he grows up thinking that it is okay to steal from loved ones, or learns to hate all women or to be a pawn to someone. I am being harsh, I know. My family situation did not allow for warm fuzzies, anf the idea of family honor and family unity was used too often as a reason to imprison a victim for me to say, Keep your word at all costs. If it came down to me keeping my word or saving myself? I would save myself. Sucks, but it is true. I am a lifelong vegetarian. Strand me in the wild, and it comes down to me or Mr Bunny? I will be a carnivore to survive.
Point being, she sees you as Mr Bunny in her Survival Scenario at this time. But ypu are not what will save her. Or help her survive. I am from a family of addicts on one side. Been there, seen that, and if she is going promiscuous as well? Yikes..
You have my sympathy, and my support, no matter what

I'm sorry been hurt this way my ex husband did love me he said it was weakness in him , maby she is mean get rid of her she not change hugs min

I know it's hard my friend but I hope you find the strength to leave this sticky web and build a new life for yourself and your son. You know you deserve it and so does he. Detach with love for your own survival and self respect. X

alan246?

If you are asking if I am alan246, no I am not. Otherwise I have no idea what you mean.

You'd be breaking your word for a good reason....protecting your child and yourself. She's broken the rules and set precidence. It's not ok for her to date and live in your home. It doesn't even sound like she's dating but having casual hook ups. She's stealing from you, ruining your credit. There is nothing you've said about her that is positive. For your own health and well being tell her she must go. Nothing wrong in taking care of yourself. She'll get mad but you can just let her know she's untrustworthy and you can't put yourself and child through that.