Avoiding Christmas with family via hospital or crisis house sounds like a great idea to me. I love the idea of your parents and sister confronting the reality of how triggering Christmas is to you thanks to your rapist father. I am in favor of truth and reality vs. lies and denial. Above all, I am in favor of you rejecting the role of family poison container - holding all that filth and horror inside you.

However, I recognize that you will continue to play that role until you are ready to reject it. You have my support either way.

I hope you feel better soon. Stay safe.

Christmas was my family's most violent holiday and yet I kept going back there right up to when I turned 52. My therapist told me insanity is repeating the same thing over and over yet expecting a different result. Christmas when I turned 52 indeed brought me the same old misery, so I finally followed my therapist's advice and tried something different.

So this year I'm avoiding Christmas with a vacation in Mexico. Anywhere but back there. It took me until I was 52 to do learn to make other plans, though, so if you keep going back to family at Christmas even knowing all you know now, I did that, too. I'm 59 now, though, and I have to say the last 7 Christmases have been my first good ones ever. If I can change about Christmas, anyone can. You might give it a shot.

i’m so sorry that you’re having to go through this. holidays are extremely hard, especially when you’re already having pretty serious struggles. i think seeing the crisis team is a good idea, just make sure to take care of yourself. if you need to be hospitalized or housed over christmas, you should do that, no matter how hard it will be. you need to take care of yourself above all else. we’re here for you and i believe in you, i KNOW that you will be able to find this strength. you got this <3

I agree with DW. If you are in crisis and need to stay away from your parents it would be a good idea, in my opinion. I know you love your niece but I think there are better and healthier ways to see her without the involvement of your parents.

I know it is not what you want to hear, I would not want that over the holidays either but its the safe thing

Gentle hugs.

So sorry you are struggling. Holidays can be overly stressful for some. It sounds like you have made your choice. Remember to do self-care until you reconnect with your cpn. You are a strong, beautiful person, created in His image. Prayers for a peaceful visit.

Be safe, I understand hugs! You are a beautiful and valued person