Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
Therapy went well today, my therapist is pissed at my husband (who just recently stopped supporting me and sent me away to live with my parents). She says he never acted as though he couldn't handle my disorder and we looked well put together. She is a blessing and always has my back, but we're both stumped at the reasoning behind my exile from home.
Husband continues to say I damaged him by not letting him speak to people I didn't trust about my PTSD and how it makes him feel (I understand he has to live with it too, but these people havent been the nicest to me already). He's chosen in the past to talk to an ex girlfriend, our senior pastor who believed some lies about me before and multiple women who are single or getting divorce and want to be more than his friend. None of which are appropriate sources of support. He tells me the people he talks to now (a healing prayer group at church) agree that it's fine that he take time to be alone and not allow me to come home. (I've been away from my cat for a week)
Any time I make him mad by asking too many questions or with my constant pleading and begging to return home he adds another day to my exile. My therapist says its emotional abuse and i should not allow him to add to my pain. I'm trying to get through this but I don't know how much more I can take. He says I've hurt him by not working, laying around the house and never cleaning or cooking. I do cook on occasion, I clean when I can and as far as the job.. I just can't go out and face people right now.
I found out my new medicine to replace my Paxil would be 105.00 and 95.00 (can't afford to take it) so I've been trying to find ways to get it. I'm doing everything alone after 7 years together (3 of marriage) and I'm so lost.
I'm beginning to wish I would have been killed during one of my long drawn out beatings that caused this PTSD. I've even prayed I'd die in my sleep. I need a break!
Husband continues to say I damaged him by not letting him speak to people I didn't trust about my PTSD and how it makes him feel (I understand he has to live with it too, but these people havent been the nicest to me already). He's chosen in the past to talk to an ex girlfriend, our senior pastor who believed some lies about me before and multiple women who are single or getting divorce and want to be more than his friend. None of which are appropriate sources of support. He tells me the people he talks to now (a healing prayer group at church) agree that it's fine that he take time to be alone and not allow me to come home. (I've been away from my cat for a week)
Any time I make him mad by asking too many questions or with my constant pleading and begging to return home he adds another day to my exile. My therapist says its emotional abuse and i should not allow him to add to my pain. I'm trying to get through this but I don't know how much more I can take. He says I've hurt him by not working, laying around the house and never cleaning or cooking. I do cook on occasion, I clean when I can and as far as the job.. I just can't go out and face people right now.
I found out my new medicine to replace my Paxil would be 105.00 and 95.00 (can't afford to take it) so I've been trying to find ways to get it. I'm doing everything alone after 7 years together (3 of marriage) and I'm so lost.
I'm beginning to wish I would have been killed during one of my long drawn out beatings that caused this PTSD. I've even prayed I'd die in my sleep. I need a break!
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I feel so dirty and used I was drunk and passed out at a party when I came around some guy was on top of me rapeing me he covered my mouth and told me to shut up afterwards he got up and got dressed and said I better not tell anyone I found my friend and reported that I had been raped after having medical checks and them getting DNA I've taken the morning after pill IAM just so depressed and...
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Upon his departure, he remarked, "I am in many people’s pockets; no one will believe you." Have you ever grappled with the silence that follows sexual assault, where the perceived impossibility of being believed necessitates self-censorship?
Husband is divorcing me he gave these reasons,
1) I'm nasty and don't take care of myself and don't bathe every day, dress nicely or put on make up every day.
2) I'm fat and disgusting and won't deal with it
3) I won't get a job and pay for anything around the house.
4) I am lazy and won't clean anything or take his dog out so she messes in our hallway.
5) He no longer loves me because I refuse to all him to have female friends who demonize me and tell him I'm gross.
I'm hurting so bad. And divorce will only add to my misery. I have only been home from trying to kill myself for a little over a week.
It hurts awfully right now, but...he's bad news. He is not a good man.
It's not you, it's him.
Everything he doesn't like about you is directly related to all those beatings he's given to you, definately you have NO blame, HE DOES!
Can he change??...I've worked with (at a grassroots level) with many abusive males. The ones that do change for the good are those who work extremely hard on their issues, much more that what a prayer group can achieve (I'm also very spiritual and have been a spiritual leader in the past)(change only happens to those "willing" to change). Those men that have changed took anger management courses (repeatedly), counselling with lot of cognitive behaviour modification (average I would say 3-5 years), plus male support groups and a vast support system in place. His current verbal abuse as well as evicting you, proves to me a unwillingness to change.
From this outsider looking in, I think it's good you're away from him.
I've also been involved in many similar circumstances with couple when I was head of maintenance for 38 homes with the organization I worked for since I was the key holder. I had to be there when people wanted to retrieve personal belongings. The best way to do this is to have a police officer present. Just contact your local police and they should be able to set something up. Here they often used their liaison officer to do this. For items like tv etc, you'll need receipts present. Your cat may be hard but most cops usually say, "man up, quite being a prick and let her have her cat". I've seen that work quite a few times.
I've seen my share of divorces too. Always brutal especially for the victims of violence since we tend to want to return to our abusers often(that's the power the abusers tend to hold over many). Yet after a year or even a few months most are truly enjoying their new found freedom from those that have oppressed and abused them.
I know you probably can't see down this trail with all this current darkness you're surrounded in, yet never give and you'll find that "light" you're looking for!
Blaine