my crush on my current dance instructor still hasn't gone away. Going on a trip a nearby lake and going to stay at a lodge that weekend, in two weeks. Part of me worries about spending time with him. He almost drove me to a dance trip in a nearby city, but his uncle needed hurricane assistance and the whole trip was canceled. He's very appropriate but he is an attractive single man. 

And then there's the ex male model/ writer/ academic/ bipolar friend that I find pretty interesting, though he's often cringeworthy in his emotionalism and verbosity. Okay, he reminds me of me. He will also be there. 

Was reminded that my new dance group loves me and the old dance studio is way in the past when I spent time with some of the other women downtown. Just have to keep moving on and push the trauma feelings away. 

Have been doing pin up photos in a pin up group because my ex dance instructor really shredded my self esteem and confidence in my looks. But, have been feeling anxious after a lingerie photo shoot I did a couple weeks ago. Didn't use to feel self conscious about my body this way. But  I love the photos. My hobbies bring me joy and I hate that trauma feelings get in the way. 

The dance trip is all paid for and I'm sure it's going to be awesome, but it's kind of scary.