I have this problem off and on but still way to often! I often can't feel love or hate. I sometimes have problems expressing love towards my husband and parents and friends. I'm with you on this. I have the same issue.

I have almost the opposite effect - I can literally start crying at almost any given moment.

Thanks guys. My wife and girls are waiting for that faucet to flow. But I guess I am afraid if it starts it will never stop.

sometimes it can be meds that flatten your feelings ... but even when not on them that happens to me ... i feel like crying and i can't or i'm far removed from my emotions to protect myself from the pain ... detached ...

i was the same way for a long time, at least when it came to myself. Everything felt the same--flat. happy, sad, whatever...isn't it all the same? i mean, i know the right face to wear: smile at the weddings, somber for the funerals, but inside it truly all feels dead.

after a year and a half in therapy, one day, i teared up a little. i don't remember now what it was even about, and my t. very quietly said, " Do you know that that is the first time since you've been coming here in over a year that you have cried?

I asked, "Is that unusual?"

He said, "you notice the tissue box changing color week to week? Yeah, a lot of people tend to talk about things here that bring up a lot of emotion for them."

I'd discussed plenty...but when talking about myself, it's all flat, no feeling, except guilt--i'd perfected that one.

When you dissociate, those feelings get pushed aside, disconnected from the rest of life. As things become more integrated, or you get to know the parts that are split away, you will find some of those emotions. As i have come to know different parts, i find they are carrying the emotions i thought i "could not" feel. it's there, it's just been set aside from me--it can be regained, but for me, i have found that it happens as i get to know the others inside.

i should clarify...forgot in which forum i was posting...when you reconnect (in the therapy process) with the experiences that you sort of disconnect from in PTSD and heal from them, you will find that the feelings are safe to have again, and you will regain them. some people split those feelings or events apart so distinctly that they take on a place of their own, and they get dissociated...that happens to me, that's why i was saying when you get to know those parts inside, or get to be familiar with the things that you disconnect from, then you often get the feelings back. sorry if that was confusing.
em

HI Jenny--
yes, what you said makes sense. There's a spectrum of dissociation. you can have your emotions kind of sectioned off without actually having DID or MPD as it is better known. But it's not like there is an exact space on the continuum where you say, it's not just dissociation, but now it's DID. Dissociation is a hallmark of PTSD. In it's more severe form, it can be DID, but, there's a long way in between. But yes, it makes perfect sense that those things be sectioned off and out of reach without a shift in your thinking or mental state. That's a way you can learn to protect yourself from the power of the emotion or the pain of it...and it's all an unconscious process. it's not like you wake up one day and say, "iit hurts when i feel this so i will put it over here..." it happens witouut awareness until one day you realize (or maybe never) that those things are out of touch...

best to you...
you might check out SIDRAN's website if you are curious about the more specific diagnostics of DID or MPD to see what fits what doesnt; also the DID Sourcebook is very helpful in explaining in laymans terms. You can find it at Amazon or Barns and Nobels for under 20, esp. if you look for it used.

take care,
em