Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
Hey there,
I'm new to this forum and I wanted to introduce myself... My name is Lisa and I'm 24 years old. I graduated from college about a year ago and was actually working as a mental health clinician in a residential care facility until recently. I had started having more nightmares... more panic attacks... and bouts of anger. My therapist and I decided that I need to spend some time on my own treatment and to focus on my own trauma... The past several months have been incredibly hard on me and my friends and loved-ones. I feel so numb... the only emotions I can really feel vividly are anger or sadness.
In a nutshell, I was physically, sexually, emotionally, and verbally abused on a daily basis by my 'family' and others from as long as I could remember. My mother was an abusive sociopathic addict and alcoholic, my father was a drug-dealing enabling push-over, and my sister was a much younger version of my mother who was also abusive. I grew up poor in a bad neighborhood- my parent's house was the target of drive-byes even. However, at age 15 I ran away and became homeless. Eventually my aunt and her family took me in, but they were still abusive towards me in a more covert manner. And the schools I went to were even worse. I started getting bullied to no end when I first entered middle school... I had no friends anymore until the end of high school. I did date a boy throughout high school, but he became physically abusive towards me after I graduated and moved in with him. Fortunately, we stopped dating in 2007.
Fortunately, at 15, I had a guardian angel, a social worker who tried to help me the most that she could. With her help, I excelled academically and was able to get a full-academic scholarship to college. She inspired me so much that I got a degree in social work and behavioral sciences.
That all lasted until I started college, where things were COMPLETELY different. It was HEAVEN in comparison. For the first time in a long time, I actually had friends, and was happier. Things seemed so good... And then I eventually graduated with honors and started working in the mental health field. I've been dating my current wonderful boyfriend for the past 6 years, and we moved in together about a year ago. Our relationship isn't perfect, but he's a wonderful person and I love him. But my work just made me feel so depressed.... and it was triggering to the point where I decided that I needed a break.
Does anybody else here have reoccurring nightmares? Or the same dream or dreams with the same things over and over and over again? This has been the case for me for about a year.... my dreams are so dark and vivid, and always have consistently the same themes, usually involving me being physically tortured by my mother, or being rejected by other members of my family. Another theme is that even though I've finished my bachelor's degree, I have to go back to high school to complete classes. And when I'm back in high school, I'm bullied by old bullies to no end T_T....
Has anyone here found anything that has helped them cope with or alleviate their trauma-related dreams? I've been trying to positively reaffirm myself before going to bed by using self-talk. I've also tried using positive imagery of my safe place before I sleep... but it doesn't seem to work. My boyfriend's been telling me that I've been waking up in the middle of the night screaming, or shaking nervously while I sleep. What helps you?
I'm new to this forum and I wanted to introduce myself... My name is Lisa and I'm 24 years old. I graduated from college about a year ago and was actually working as a mental health clinician in a residential care facility until recently. I had started having more nightmares... more panic attacks... and bouts of anger. My therapist and I decided that I need to spend some time on my own treatment and to focus on my own trauma... The past several months have been incredibly hard on me and my friends and loved-ones. I feel so numb... the only emotions I can really feel vividly are anger or sadness.
In a nutshell, I was physically, sexually, emotionally, and verbally abused on a daily basis by my 'family' and others from as long as I could remember. My mother was an abusive sociopathic addict and alcoholic, my father was a drug-dealing enabling push-over, and my sister was a much younger version of my mother who was also abusive. I grew up poor in a bad neighborhood- my parent's house was the target of drive-byes even. However, at age 15 I ran away and became homeless. Eventually my aunt and her family took me in, but they were still abusive towards me in a more covert manner. And the schools I went to were even worse. I started getting bullied to no end when I first entered middle school... I had no friends anymore until the end of high school. I did date a boy throughout high school, but he became physically abusive towards me after I graduated and moved in with him. Fortunately, we stopped dating in 2007.
Fortunately, at 15, I had a guardian angel, a social worker who tried to help me the most that she could. With her help, I excelled academically and was able to get a full-academic scholarship to college. She inspired me so much that I got a degree in social work and behavioral sciences.
That all lasted until I started college, where things were COMPLETELY different. It was HEAVEN in comparison. For the first time in a long time, I actually had friends, and was happier. Things seemed so good... And then I eventually graduated with honors and started working in the mental health field. I've been dating my current wonderful boyfriend for the past 6 years, and we moved in together about a year ago. Our relationship isn't perfect, but he's a wonderful person and I love him. But my work just made me feel so depressed.... and it was triggering to the point where I decided that I needed a break.
Does anybody else here have reoccurring nightmares? Or the same dream or dreams with the same things over and over and over again? This has been the case for me for about a year.... my dreams are so dark and vivid, and always have consistently the same themes, usually involving me being physically tortured by my mother, or being rejected by other members of my family. Another theme is that even though I've finished my bachelor's degree, I have to go back to high school to complete classes. And when I'm back in high school, I'm bullied by old bullies to no end T_T....
Has anyone here found anything that has helped them cope with or alleviate their trauma-related dreams? I've been trying to positively reaffirm myself before going to bed by using self-talk. I've also tried using positive imagery of my safe place before I sleep... but it doesn't seem to work. My boyfriend's been telling me that I've been waking up in the middle of the night screaming, or shaking nervously while I sleep. What helps you?
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Lately I've been feeling scared and full of anxiety. I recently found a lump under my nipple. I hurt my back too. I'm in the process of moving. I'm run down. Everything is hard
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Just wanted to give a thank you to Mid, Arfie, Malibumark, Greeneyes, Mlro, Girlincalif, and Suncloudjd! You all always have such helpful tips and advice, but I always forget to write on my posts when I see you post, lol. I would lose my head if it wasn't attached to my body, lol. Thank you all so much! I'm starting to use my AI app as a sounding board again. I used to use it as that before...
I have a few that recurring, usually when real life has something going on. I have been able to learn to wake myself, from those dreams. Sometimes they sneak through, then I wake frozen in fear mostly.
I have also spent a lot of time here and on my own, deciphering the meaning, or feeling of those dreams. Trying to understand the core of feeling in it, where it comes from.
Some are past reenactments and others like feeling I will be crushed by a huge boulder? grinding wheel? Trapped where there is no escape. A scene from "Raiders of the Lost Arch" is similar.
There are not as often now. I also can recognize the feeling so I literally say in my dream"This is a dream, Wake up" it usually works.
I tend to serial dreams where one dream picks up where the last one left off. Highly entertaining when the dreams are good. Not so nice with nightmares.
When my nightmares were horrific enough to cause sleep deprivation, a dream journal helped me get them under control.
These days they are not so bad, but they still come in waves. Now I mosyly get by with dream talismans. That would be any physical object which grounds me in the physical realm while I process the nightmare. I like things I can wrap around my wrist so that I don't lose them in the bed clothes. I also keep a glass of water by my bed. Nightmares put a horrible taste in my mouth and a quick rinse helps me get back to sleep more easily.
But I did "Boot Camp" my first few months here. Gathering tools and familiarity with them, so I could be where I am now. Hard work for sure , but so worth it.