My thought is it would be impossible for me to give an accurate, comprehensive representation of myself in just one statement- no matter how carefully I prepared it.

So my view point is, if I can't achieve that myself, should I judge someone else I don't really know on just a sound bite?

Even people who make really off the wall (from my perspective) statements, should be given the opportunity to explain themselves. But allowing explanation requires further engaging with that person. Sounds like you may be looking for excuses to push your 'reject button'.

You may be doing yourself as injustice, or else using a convenient smoke screen to perpetuate your desire to stay isolated. Only you, Arfie, can decide why, or what you want.

If we decide a habit is based on a no longer necessary rationalization, we can edge a way from it.

Isolation is a defense mechanism that we use to "avoid" others. 51% is right- we push others away b/c we dont know how to trust other people.

I am no better than anybody else when I say that I do the same because I just don't find the strength to give into another relationship that is failed. Relationships are hard work and dedication. Also,time consuming and based on trust.I rather let God take the reins and repair what I can not fix.

Sometimes when I am the most critical of others I am using it as a sort of excuse to be entirely overcritical of myself.

What are you afraid of facing that it is distracting you from?

Is something Id ask myself, anyway. I do tend to get carried away.

Wanting perfection is a magical idea. When we want it from ourselves or when we want it from others. Adult me says 'I know my feelings/fears/disappointments are irrational. I think you once described feelings as tsunami waves. I've thought of them this way too. How do you tell an emotional wave as big as a downtown building 'this is irrational.' That's not going to change the feeling. Magical expectations come from our inner child. It comes from child-like feelings from a part that never grew up. It's break taking how small child parts of us have the power of freak waves. Sometimes all I can do is notice but not stop it. I'm feeling quite abandoned tonight - an inner kid wave of my own. It's good to be honest and say what we feel and irrationally expect. Then we know we are not alone. My take is you're hiding this hurt inner kid behind the love of isolating. Kids do make big 'character assassinating' waves, yup.

I like what dianahunt wrote: "Wanting perfection is a magical idea." It hit home because some of my PTSD came from abuse in the home when I was a child. Children have magical ideas of cause and effect. For some of us, it's hard to adapt our ideas to adulthood. In certain areas outside ourselves we become very rational. But in our self-taught, we can stay trapped in our own magical thinking.

I think the most magical of all traps for me has been my childish wish, even as a grown up, to be rescued by somebody. It took me a long time to figure out that with PTSD rescue is an inside job, and it's hard work step by step. No fairy godmother is going to appear, wave a wand, and save me from my perfectionism. It's great to have friends as we take each step from magical perfectionism to happy acceptance here.

personally i really really enjoy my solitude....people bore me to tears.....every once in a while i love a good conversation and then its like a good meal i'm satisfied for a while....

But i do not need or want constant company.

That's just me....I don't see the problem with liking isolating unless you don't like it and you long to for not doing it....i enjoy it.

I like the peacefulness of it.

Lesson one...no one is perfect and when I put myself in that no one is good enough, I lose. mujicaptsd...since my abuse started at 4 I so relate to the rescue scenario. Im working on that right now bc its another form of isolation. When Im day dreaming or wishing for something I am not in the moment. While for some people they may like living alone, I resisted my inner being for contact other than the computer. I think that is why doing things outside my comfort zone is hard...its like going out to a world I dont know but its getting better.