Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
I was doing really good I thought until 8 months ago when PTSD popped up.. I have4 kids and my goal since they were born was to make sure they had the most normal life possible. while they . I would spend time with each of them every night til they went to sleep. My son could not sleep at night because of anxiety. I would stay up till he went to sleep explaining every noise so he would not be scared. I just found out the other day he still needs that and he is almost 24.. I used to be somewhat justmental not understanding PTSD. I could not understand why peoples minds were crippled by traumatic events after all I had trauma inl my life. and I was still working and doing just fine.....lol. I would think things like if I could make it through the trauma I had went through and t end up ok why could not others. I was humbled when PTSD hit me. It took all my kids coming of age and moving out til it hit me. I was a manager of a bank could multi task keep going at a pace that shocked even me. I was married and left that due to verbal abuse and was not going to put up with it anymore after all I had been through so much violence in my life. I was by myself for the firs time in my life. I was afraid to sleep incase someone would come get me,I started drinking as soon as I got off work to make myself believe I was ok and happy, but I kept on going hard. My doctors were telling me maybe I should take time off work. But no I could not do that..I quit drinking .Rambling on....Sorry. But in 8 months I have learned alot about myself. Istarted sticking up for myself and wow...Feels good at the time but then you have to fight with the struggle of feeling guilty for being a b.....Even though I am not. I guess what I am trying to say is once you start improving and have a good day and it feels good.Yeah I am going to be normal again,I can go to work again.......Boom your back to PTSD. It is discouraging.My doctor told me this is the hard part coming back and making the changes....I know its true but its hard. I thought facing things reliving things, flashbacks and triggers were hard. But progress is hard....But I am up for it because I want tio be the person I will become. One other thing I am learning is PTSD does not define you.. Its hard because thats all you want to talk about when it first hits you. Another hard lesson is finding out who your friends really are when you are going through this. I have 3 left. My family did not understand because I was the one that can make it through anything and what has changed so that I cant go back to work or leave the house or go for walks...simple things. I am glad that my family after 8 months understands. All because I opened up and told them all the things that happened to me. It took 8 months but I am ok with having PTSD it does not define me but you have to accept it instead of fighting it to make any headway. Its not all the time believe me but enough to let me love myself,take care of myself and stand up for myself no matter how hard it is. Thanks for letting me ramble.
That was not what I would call a "ramble." It was a truthful, astonishing account of your journey so far, dealing with the PTSD once it made itself known to you.
Even though I have no children or family really, and friends mostly have vanished--except a couple--your account means so much to me. My experience with having PTSD is similar in some striking ways--working for years and accomplishing so much until the illness broker through in dramatic fashion. (I explained my own initial reactions to PTSD in an old discussion post, "Crack in the Universe").
Your statement that PTSD does not define you but you accept it and thereby learn to care for yourself in positive ways is what I most recently have learned. It's no fun. However, after decades of having no emotions about decades of violence, and now having appropriate emotions to these events, is actually progress.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience and thoughts. You are very special.
THANK YOU FOR OPENING YOUR SELVES TO FELLOW SUFFERERS. I AM JUST NOW LEARNING HOW TO DEAL WITH MY VERY OLD ENEMY CPTSD.. I LEARN SO MUCH FROM ALL OF YOU HERE.
I AM WITH YOU THAT IT IS NICE TO TALK ABOUT THIS WITH FOLKS WHO HAVE BEEN THERE DONE THAT.. I HAVEN'T THE BENEFIT OF YEARS OF THERAPY ETC. SO I LEARN VICARIOUSLY THRU YOU ALL.
I HAVE FOUND MOST PEOPLE (FAMILY/FRIENDS/MINE INCLUDED) CAN'T CONCEIVE WHAT WE MAY HAVE ENDURED/SURVIVED. I DON'T HAVE MANY (ONE) FRIENDS EITHER. PROBABLY MORE MY CHOICE THAN OTHERS...
I HOPE I CAN BE AS TUFF AS YOU GALS WHEN IT COMES TO RELIVING THE PAST... I HAVE SURVIVED SORTA FOR MANY MOONS, TRYING TO FORGET... BUT THE PTSD KEEPS SNEAKIN UP ON ME TOO. I AM TRYING TO FIND A THERAPIST OR?? THAT KNOWS ABOUT PTSD. I WANT TO FEEL GOOD TOO.. NOW I'M BABBLING.. GUESS ALLS I AM SAYING IS THANKS !! :)