First of all I commend you for reaching out. You acknowledge your destructive tendencies, and desire for change. Therapy is good, you also need an outside support system, support groups are great too, but my deliverance from my old destructive behavior came straight from Jesus Christ when I accepted him as my savior, and continued therapy, and journaling to look at the causes of the symptom( the destructive behavior ie., cutting for example) cause ? What is it inside you that makes you want to act out by hurting yourself consciously or subconsciously? And to get through the moments of being anxious and wrestless or hurting call someone or pray, but do not isolate! I hope this helps.

I feel empty too. Maybe try forcing yourself to describe things in the room you are in to ground yourself. Pay attention to the detail. Listen to what you hear, notice if there's anything you smell. You know, sensory things to help ground you. Idk if that's helpful or not.

Hi. I too have this feeling of emptiness at times and yes, it is uncomfortable and painful. I wish I knew suggestions that help with this but all I can think of is finding something that distracts from focusing on it.

I have felt the same thing and tried to describe it to my counselor but it is hard to explain how it feels and where it comes from. I hadn’t thought about the grounding tip. That seems helpful for me. Sometimes a walk or coloring can help me shake it but it really blows. Gentle hugs...

triple hugs of support. we are all so different even within the boundaries of similar diagnosis so I don't know what will work for you.

However, for me the only thing that combats the emptiness that I have felt through out my life, probably from my depression, is when I act without the borders of my world.

this means when I become involved in something that doesn't relate to me. Like helping others, volunteering, even just advocating change within a social structure, like neighborhood watch or community parks, etc.

I even went through crisis intervention training to answer phones at a suicide hotline when I was younger. It all helps to fill the space inside me that for whatever reason me or my life doesn't fill up.

hope that helps somehow.

(((hopingtobecomeabutterfly)))

thank you for bringing this up in your post. i'm so sorry you are dealing with this terribly alone feeling. i don't think i've ever put it into words before. your doing that here is helping me too.

i had thought of it as more of a dissociation sort of thing, but it is painful too, isn't it.

it makes sense that it is part of how we experience the depression part of cPTSD. i don't often try to figure out symptoms because so many of them can be confusing from childhood - they simply ARE.

the suggestions are so good xo