Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
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So, my fiance is going through stuff right now, and I'm going through stuff right now. He thinks I'm the answer to all of his problems, but I have my own. He is constantly having me drive him all over town to do things for his friends?! Telling me I sleep too much, when I am recovering from cancer surgery. My body needs the extra sleep. He is now going through suboxone withdrawls, and threw a laundry basket at my head yesterday to ?! prove a point?! Tossed the mattress over I was laying on which sent me flying into the wall and my nightstand. I want to help him, but this abuse is taking its toll on me. He loves me exactly how I want to be loved, and everytime I leave him I regret it. I am so trapped in this personal hell I have created. I don't have the strength to just leave him. I don't know how to help him, because he is not helping himself. He blames all of his problems on me. When he's good, he's great; when he's bad, he's a nightmare. I just don't even know what to do anymore. I know what I should do, leave him. But, I can't. I feel like those retarded women I would make fun of for not leaving their abusive husbands. I just love him so much.
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
So instead of trying to fix the codependent pattern of 2 centuries, I decided to at least stop myself if nobody else, I got a vasectomy so the child rearing problem would not continue. Then, since my picker picks only one kind of partner--the codependent kind--I went independent. It was hard because I'd always been in a relationship since I was 14. My family really hated it, because we have no experience with boundaries. All we know is soap opera melodrama,
But I stuck with it, and 10 years later people respect me, especially me. It's a totally alien concept, but I like respect.
Now looking back I'd make fun of me for not leaving, too.
There is always a honeymoon period with abusers... It's how they win their victims back
People who have suffered domestic violence aren't stupid or foolish... It's hard and you often need help to get to the next good place
I'm going to give you a link to crisis resources and it includes domestic violence hotlines
I volunteered for a while at a shelter for abused women and children and they often left about 6 times before they left for good
Another hug.....xo
https://support.dailystrength.org/hc/en-us/articles/207430776-What-if-I-need-emergency-help-
Can you imagine having a crying baby (or one that's special needs), and trusting him to take care of your child while your gone on an errand, work, etc?
I think time and space may be helpful for you both. Let him get healthy, and your body continue to heal.
Take it from me.... it can get worse after marriage because you are now legally bound to him and he may feel even more control over you.
Honestly, if you were my sister, I would tell you leave now while you can 'easily' go... before you have a child or start getting hurt worse physically and emotionally.
You need someone who loves you and can walk beside you as support during life. Love is patient and kind. While you may love him, he is showing lack of love towards you.
Don't do what I did and love the man he COULD be but isn't. See him for the man he is...... and take care of you. You survived before him, and you can again after.
I wish you the best as you decide what to do.