How old are you now? Are you in counseling?

Hi, Musicallover. Welcome to DS. Sorry for what brings you here but glad you are here.

In addition to Patti's questions, I am wondering if you know what set you back to square one?

But. . . Answers not required. Talk whenever, if ever you are ready on the subjects which feel right to your healing needs. No explanations required.

Welcome aboard.

Well I have done the circle thing too and I feel it is layers of healing, each time perhaps a different level? EMDR has helped me the most. I was molested before I was even 2 years old

Wow, I'm so sorry this happened to you! I know that really breaks your sense of trust and normalcy! Did you tell your Mom what happened or report it so they could catch the man? If not, it would help you feel control again if you do and hopefully stop him from hurting someone else. Have you sought counseling to talk it thru and help w healing? If you haven't, can't afford it or are afraid, there are great counselors at churches near you and they usually are free. It is detrimental to your self image when you are belittled and abused, you don't trust yourself to do the right thing esp if it happens at your forming years. To counteract that, speak out loud love and positive words to yourself when negative thoughts come back that were said to you or that you started speaking to yourself. You are a treasure even tho you were mistreated, abused and raped. There is nothing you did wrong that brought that on yourself. How long ago was this? Prayers for healing for you! Get rid of anxiety and sleeplessness by taking hot epsom salt baths or taking magnesium and ginseng to calm your spirit and tired body. You have been in trauma too long, breathe deep in peace and listen to uplifting music that heals, get in touch w nature, it is so healing. lay in the grass, look at the stars at night to get a bigger sense of life and let normalcy return. Look to the future with hope and release anger and fear into the past. <3