I am with you here... There are several words which are used to identify individuals, but they do not reflect the living being attached to those words...

I have said to many people to not call me "this" or not call me "that" as they do not define me whatsoever...

Good topic...

Yeah, like I found "victim" to be too limiting a word to describe me, as well. PTSD's current language is really just what's evolved since the 1980s.

After World War I PTSD itself had the limiting name "shell shock," which didn't allow for any non-combat PTSD. No rape PTSD, no accident PTSD, no domestic violence PTSD. Heck, the label "shell shock" didn't even fit all combat survivors. It applied only to survivors of artillery bombardments.

Our PTSD vocabulary's still in the early stage of development, isn't it?

A full descriptoin of my sister would take too long. I find "Abuser" good shorthand. That's what she was to me. Among other things. But in my PTSD context, that's what she was.
I am not a victim. I am a survivor.
But I don't know what word would work besides "Abuser"...it describes the action they took, just as murderer, rapist, killer, baker, etc. do.

Got me.

Living Language is an ever evolving proposition, ever in need of context. My personal use of "abuser" never evolved beyond, "drug abuser" and even there it seemed to contain more propaganda than meaning.

Lately it is popping up all over the place and I am not sure what it means. As a summary judgement, it is not very clear, but... One recent conversation gave me the impression it meant, "Mommy won't buy me the newest I-Pod."

Guess I am just showing my amateur etymologist stripes. Everybody needs a hobby.

Labels are tough.

Labels serve to simplify.

Simplifying isn't *inherently* a bad thing, but -- in the process OF simplifying -- a lot of important information (complexity) can easily get lost.

What other one word can be used in conversation with my therapist? I have 45 minutes. I can't exactly rattle off "narcissistic borderline personality with violent tendency sibling" --- it's more complex and descriptive, but also a he** of a mouthful. And a lot more to type on DS, too.

User is another word that's gone from meaning "drug user as in drug addict" to meaning "anyone who takes advantage"....

I don't use "impact" as a verb, but I'll succumb to "abuser" as a quick label for my sister when discussing her in context of myPTSD. If it's any comfort, Arfie, she did abuse her prescriptions and alcohol, so she fit that definition too!

Leo, my love, there really is nothing wrong with the way you, or anyone else, uses the word. Especially in a personal and well defined context. I know I paraphrase all the time in shorthand even more cavalier than this one. You are absolutely correct that it is a time-saver.

No political correction campaign going here. Just me, personally confused by a linguistic trend I am not even sure I have noted correctly.

Your usage is just fine. No criticism intended.

P.S. "User" is, indeed another word that has morphed radically over the decades. When I was in high school it meant someone who used other people, mostly by people I considered, "useless." It was co-opted by the drug propagandists in the 80s. As I puzzled over this current trend, I wondered if today's "Abuser" is the "User" of the 60s.

But, I repeat, your usage is just fine. It is concise and well-defined in your personal context.

Sorry I came off prickly--- I get obsessed with language as an ex-editor---- I try so hard for precision (and to avoid impact as a verb!)--- but sometimes I just can't be precise *and* concise.

Weird. I was raised thinking User meant Drug User.... and it's morphing back to People User.... Starting to think user is just a word that needs a serious makeover.... Or some adjectival clarification?

My mom has difficulty with English because seh was raised speaking Polish her first few years, so believe me, I can't criticize anyone for linquisitc curiosity or concerns. My mom learned English at age 3 and still to this day will scramble her syntax and vocabulary. I know what she means, but then, I was raised with it---an outsider thinks we're nuts!

We all dislike victim as a general rule....
Should we try to think of something a little more current for "one who causes harm to others"?

We can always invent a neologism.

Why not? "Normalcy" didn't exist until a president used it in a speech, if I remember the story correctly.

Grammar is too often the art of using the words to discredit the message.

In this particular instance I probably "should" have put "OT" in the header. I am just playing etymologist here. Emphasis on "playing." Zero qualifications.

To play the "use" confusion to another level, in Spanish, "USA" means: "he/she/it uses." :-O

No wonder I didn't talk until I was 12...