People do not understand the severity and hopelessness of complex ptsd.

I have not found or talked to another person whose nervous was completely upside down, totally out of our control.

My healing skills are formidable.  My therapist tried multiple therapies and I searched out alternative healers

Intuitive, cranial sacral therapy, and many others.

I was a loner and shunned sharing my trauma to strangers.

One of my biggest symptoms was not trusting people.

I found meditation through acceptance and commitment therapy

My dads abuse built incredible willpower and the ability to endure physical pain at my dads hands.

I meditated five hours a day for five years without missing a day.  The rest of the day was spent reading and applying what I learned

It took five years then life was better not perfect by any means

I had a couple year period that seemed like euphoria

When Ptsd symptoms recede it feels like a miracle

It is not perfect and flare ups are part of life

Four months ago a long buried betrayal trauma that I could never endure exploded 

My fight or flight mechanism does not fire for trauma anymore

Meditation focus on the breath dissipates cortisol and adrenaline and calms traumas scary parts

I learned to activate my parasympathetic nervous system with my breath, that is applying the brakes

Half the battle was over when I calmed my nervous system

You can learn to use the energy of all that cortisol and adrenaline to fuel workouts

I found no fear inside my adrenal stress response

Our thoughts add our fear 

Now I am left with humiliation to my core with fight or flight not firing

I have found physical abuse much easier than public betrayal

All my skills will not remove this stain

Now I am suffering again after all the work I have devoted to healing 

Frustrating

How much trauma has happened to me

How much more is in there

At 69 I have battle this since childhood

And new traumas keep arriving 

So do not expect to heal quickly from serious childhood trauma 

I ran a real mindfulness group

The number one people do not heal is their inability to take daily action

5% take action

Are you one of them?