Calm down take very deep breaths, go slow don't breath with your stomach breath with your chest. then close your eyes and imagine the sound of your breathing is the waves of a distant sea flowing back in forth onto the beach. When your calm think about one thing and one thing only at a time. Im not an expert at dissorders considering im sixteen but from your words I don't think you have PTSD. It is most likely schizophrenia, but don't sorry schizophrenia is not as bad as you think. My grandma and uncle both have it. So calm down and take another trip to the doctors and find out for certain whats wrong. Okay now tell me whats wrong with your ex.

Sounds like "Complex Post Tramatic Stress" all the shitty symptoms with some extra twists thrown in to make you feel crazy. I was misdiagnosed for years and I truly felt crazy. Check it out, maybe that's the piece that you need to make sense of whats happening with all of your feelings.
I too felt and heard things that weren't there, saw things out of the corner of my eyes when in full fight or flight.
Hang in there, it gets different. Hugs

Newbee1- thank you for your response. it made me feel a bit better.

I am really really sorry - we are here for you. You aren't in danger now, you are in a safe place and it's OK - it's going to be OK.
~big hugs!

You talked in other posts about your ex being abusive, I think. So it makes sense that you would be extremely scared.

You've also mentioned repeatedly that you are scared that you have schizophrenia. Is there any particular reason you have this fear?

Yes, it is a terribly scarey mind state to be in. I've ended up being (ultimately correctly) diagnosed with Bipolar, Panic and Anxiety Disorders, OCD and PTSD, although I think CPTSD is more accurate. And I'm also an 11 years sober alcoholic in AA. Getting a correct diagnosis for what ails us is not a bad thing, even though it is very very hard to stomach initially. But ultimately it leads to the most appropriate meds and psychotherapy and a journey in the right direction for the best mental health possible.

If you have a psychdoc or GP and psychotherapist, tell them what is going on for you. You are clearly hypervigilent - in fight or flight syndrome, which can be part of every one of the ailments I have and which I mentioned above - and which I experience. So the mental health clinicians need to get deep into what's happening and I know this is hard, but give it time - they need to be able to see how you present over a period of time to get the right diagnosis.

It can get better than this, believe me, I came from the lowest point possible, so I know.

im completely terrified of being schizophrenic because A.) i was sent to a psych ward from the hospital when i was trying to get help for post partum depression, and i was completely terrified while being there. some lady would constantly talk to herself about weird stuff, and had a very flat expression on her face all the time, and then there was another lady that was completely delusional and she came into my room one night and scared the crap out of me....and B.) i feel like my thoughts don't make sense and my mind is always scattered brain....and i always hear thoughts in my head, constantly......

im so afraid of having disorganized schizophrenia, can ptsd make your mind feel and think weird...???

also my grandmother was always paranoid all the time, but, my mom never was so idk..............

i'm sorry that you feel this way......take a few deep breaths and just calm yourself down even if it;s just for a minute....please don't hurt yourself......i've been in the hospital three times for times like these...i don't want to see anyone get hurt.....take precautions to be safe and talk to a therpist or psychiatrist about the voices...we're here for you!!!! contact me if you need to talk!!!!

Thanks for everyone's responses. I just wish the fear of having schizophrenia would go away. I am extremely sick of thinking im going to hear things. It scares me. I mean really really scares me. I just get afraid that me being abused by my ex boy friend activated schizophrenia or something....

WendyMl - really good reply.

Morning Sadness - Ok, I can see why you're feeling scared. You saw the effects of schizophrenia & it frightened you.

Are you receiving medical care right now? Are you getting counseling? And are you in safe place - physically I mean?

No, I'm not getting any help for any of problems. I don't have medical insurance. :(

Do you know if there are any free medical resources where you live?

Not that i can get....i dont get benefits from the united states sense i was born in canada, and i dont have proof of citizenship, both my parents are.....

so idk. but could the pysch ward have added to my PTSD....sometimes i have flashbacks of being there :(

Oh, wow, I see.

Yes, I would imagine the psych ward would have exasperated the PTSD. Any type of stress would, I think. I'm not too knowledgeable about PTSD, as I have only recently begun to get treated for mine.

But I think the more stress, the harder it is.