Muji, I am so sorry you are dealing with this. ((((hugs)))) I am still holding out hope they are reviewing your plan and trying to put it into place. I am sure this is a bit unusual to get a "tenure plan". Perhaps they have to get policies in place before they can answer you. I am praying and hoping you get tenure!!!!! I am still hopeful for you!!

When I get stressed I tell myself "the story". The story is when the brain makes up what it does not know. These "stories" are usually negative because this process goes back to the caveman days and they were meant to protect us. You can usually tell it is a story by stepping back and looking at the facts. Do I know what they are thinking for sure? What proof do I have the bad thing is going to happen?

The other thing I try and use asking myself what I am doing to myself. Ex. Is worrying about this now, when I do not have answers helping me? Can I set aside a time to worry about this, schedule it? (this is hard to do but it helps because setting a time and writing it down allows the worry to go away, you have acknowledged it and you are going to deal with it at 3pm for 1 hour). I also have started to ask, Is worrying going to make a difference?

Muji, the decision on tenure is out of your hands. You did the best job, you even presented a tenure plan for your PTSD. You and I both know that sometimes life is not fair. This may or may not be what is going on here, but asker yourself if you can do anything about it? No, you cannot change the outcome of what will the results of the tenure committee. Worrying about is going to make your sick. Yes, it will change your life either way, one for the good one for the bad.

You know I am with you every step of the way and I am hoping you find some peace while you wait. Waiting is the worst!

((((hugs)))

Thanks, CC. I had a dream last night that I got notice that I got tenure after all. Don't know if that dream will come true, but it beat worrying, that's for sure.

Muji Maybe you did make it, just until all there decision are made(How many tenure positions are available to how many slot of teaching skills need to be filled) They won't post any. This is out of fairness I think. Example. They may have 3 slots open, but 5 up for tenure that qualify in those three areas. If one is a pitcher (specialized) then really only two are open, but with four candidates. The date is a release of choice date only. It doesn't reflect on your skills, just their needs.

I knew I was a good swimmer, (3 styles I was competent and competitive in skills) in school but there was always anxiety about whether I would get a Divers position. Those two positions do not have the same skills or attitude needed to fill. I had to wait with all the other competitors, regardless if they would use my swimming or my diving to decide. Waiting for the sheet to be posted was always hard.

Hold on Muji, I am sure there are others that may also be waiting. We are waiting with you. Do your best as you always do, because chosen or not, it's not in your wheel house to do less. Otherwise you could have taken a Medical early retirement long ago. You teach, because it has a fulfilling factor for you. Look at what you do here for no pay.
Hugs. J

how about our cPTSD song? hey, Muj?
Greg Holden - The Lost Boy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XF-qH7G9ACI

Hey, Lilly, great time to pull that Holden golden oldie out! You made me smile, and this week hasn't been much to smile about. :-)

Like the song says,

"I will not be commanded, I will not be controlled
and I will not let my future go on without the help of my soul"

Thanks, my friend!

Ever more hugs, Muji.

As the Todd Rundgren song puts it, "One More Day (No Word)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M6QPq5SuIIE

The tenure committee told me March 21 that their deadline was April 10 for forwarding to the college board the names of those getting tenure. Other colleagues with tenure told me they were always notified ahead of that date. Am I going to be treated differently and not even be told? If so, why? PTSD stigma on their end comes to mind. On my end I've done nothing but behave openly and professionally in spite of the pressure and stress put upon me by the committee's extra requirements of me.

It would be wise of them to give me some kind of communication either way instead of just letting the deadline date come and go.

hugs Muji.

Hugs, Muji. I'm here, too.

Waiting here with you muji.

Thanks, Loo, it means so much that I don't have to wait through this alone.