It may simply be deliberation. I had something similar happen with a big program at my school and it turns out that I was the first choice, they simply took in a few more people and needed to hammer those people out, so rather than make me look great and everyone else look bad, they waited and announced everyone all at once.

While you view it as a negative thing, maybe they are simply requesting more files, or waiting for feedback?

Sympathy from you muji. Its so hard to know what is in other peoples minds. I hope it is a really good outcome and they are putting you through all this stress for nothing.

((( hugs )))

You have taught a good class and trained students well, whether they liked it or not.

Regardless of whether the administrative asses see it or not.

Letting academic standards slip because the students whine, granting tenure to those who hand out easy A's? That is an execrable way to run a college.

Sorry muji. Big hugs of support

Until that list is actually posted, you are projecting. Natural enough a reaction to the tension of waiting, but still projecting.

Soothing support while you wait it out, muji. I still hold that process is cruel and unusual punishment, but I am also a multiply certified nut job. What do I know?

Yep, I'm projecting. I keep the anxiety from running amuck most of the time, but I'm human. I did wake up around 5am today and couldn't get back to sleep from worrying about what will happen in the next few days with this tenure committee. If you weren't crazy before going through their paces, their process certainly can make you that way.

Nothing is worse, for me, than doing all I can and having to hurry-up-wait for the result... at someone else's discretion.... It's easy to say, "Don't assume the worst", but it's so da*n difficult to *do*!

Keep venting. We're here.

Huge hug Muji... It's not over yet!!... I know waiting is so hard when there is so much riding on it... I'm sending a blessing of peace and another hug...xo

Hugs, no advice, I'm just here.

It ain't over till...
The committee posts their decision. So breath, play your guitar, and write anonymous "student" letters supporting your tenure to the committee.

I couldn't teach for toffee.

Hopefully things will sort themselves out.

Hoping things turn around for you.

Muji anxiety can get the best of us.

The unknown? When the results are out of our control? That's the worst of the "What if's"
What if.... Then what do you do to survive it?
Well I had a lot of "what if "rugs pulled out from me as have you. We are still here and trying to overcome the effects while we move forward with a vision of the future.

Over the years here you have shared with us the characteristics of you that have made you a good teacher. Changing the assumptions and challenging the thought patterns in your students. Most get that, some don't, but you have far more successes than failures.

But if it's a numbers game, then how many instructors teach what you do? Since a college needs to keep a variety of subjects fluent in their infrastructure to be current. Why not keep you in a 5 year commitment than someone else they may have to commit to for 25 years. While they so who develops well enough to be the successor?

Death and Dying is a required course for most medical and psychological practitioners, maybe not all lab techs, but surely the front line of those that are face to face with patients.

Many caregivers get attached to their clients and must know how to understand when they lose them, it happens all too often.

Muji, I trust that you are good at what you do, but with their unknowns, not so sure. Had you taught just Math or English? There are many that can do that, they are core classes for every teacher now.
Hugs of support Mi Amigo, rest while you can.
We are here supporting you in this fearful stuff.

that's what i'm talking aabout - I know they've pulled some severely stupid seeming stuff over the years, but I don't see how they could be so foolish as to let a professor as perfect for this job as you are... go.

I do apologize for being stuck in brat mode, I cannot get out to save myself, but I love you and I needed to say so xoxo

Thanks for the support. It's been 12 days now since I sent my reply after that 2nd tenure interview to the tenure committee with my PTSD accommodation plan. It was one of the most revealing letters I've ever written in the workplace. It's been 12 days feelings vulnerable without even an acknowledgement it was received. I was ok until yesterday, day 11. Then I had to post for more support here because my own was worn out.

atec, thanks for the laugh. That idea of writing anonymous "student" letters to myself supporting my tenure was a great one.

jewells, thanks for showing you know how institutions view us from their perspective. It really helps me know you understand what I'm fearful of.

Lilly, it was so nice to hear you say I was perfect for this job. Whether I get tenure and get to continue with it or not, that's true. It was the right thing for me to do with myself for these last 5 years, regardless. I learned a lot by teaching it.

SC, yeah, there's a lot riding on this, thanks for saying so.

And thanks to everyone else who posted support here, too. I really needed it. I ran fresh out of my own Daily Strength yesterday. So you have my gratitude.

In the meantime, I'm having to screw up the courage to stand in front of classes of students. I've got to be in charge when really I'd like to crawl under a desk, get into the fetal position, and suck my thumb. Quite a range of options there, gotta tell ya.