Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group

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mujicaptsd 04/26/2019

Ever have a time when your PTSD symptom went more to dissociating ? I have flashbacks, panic attacks, and other PTSD symptoms, too. I've learned to cope with them better, though, than dissociative episodes.

I'm having what the Mayo Clinic and other sites call "Depersonalization-derealization disorder. This involves an ongoing or episodic sense of detachment or being outside yourself — observing your actions, feelings, thoughts and self from a distance as though watching a movie (depersonalization). Other people and things around you may feel detached and foggy or dreamlike, time may be slowed down or sped up, and the world may seem unreal (derealization). You may experience depersonalization, derealization or both. Symptoms, which can be profoundly distressing, may last only a few moments or come and go over many years."

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/dissociative-disorders/symptoms-causes/syc-20355215

Yup, when I read that I could put a check mark by every one of those symptoms from that list today. It started Wednesday, so by now it's been going on for 3 days now Don't want it for the period of years the Mayo Clinic article above mentions, that's for sure.

I've written here before that of flashbacks, panic attacks, or my dissociative disorder, it is my dissociative disorder that's hardest for me to cope with practically during my every day. Today somehow I made my way through 2 classes, an office hour, and lunch with my coworker teachers at my school. My students and coworker friends were great to me, nothing bad happened, but the whole time I knew I just wasn't all there.

Lucky for me I have a routine appointment with my psychiatrist on this coming Monday. I'll be asking for an increase in the dosage of my Prazosin prescription.

Until then any practical tips out there on how to get yourself to come back from a dissociative episode? Advice welcome.

mujicaptsd 04/28/2019

Thanks, I took it easy this weekend, got lots of sleep, and am hoping rest is what I needed to get out of this dissociative spot.

powerpurplewarrior 04/30/2019

Hey Muji. I'm sorry you're experiencing all this. I can relate well! I use dissociation as a unhealthy coping skill. I've defiantly been where you are at. Grounding skills work well for me. Using your 5 senses, deep breathing. I use 4 square breathing. Have signs posted stating where you are, that your safe, and what year it is. Like for me when I'm dissociating I look at my sign that says it's April 2019 I'm at home and I am safe. It helps me get back into the present. Hope you're doing better now. Big hugs!

mujicaptsd 04/30/2019

Thanks, PP. I'm getting as much rest as I can so I can snap out of it. What's 4 square breathing? It sounds intriguing, but I'm not familiar.

Doo. 05/01/2019

I cannot add much more than others here Muji but I am sending good thoughts your way and glad you were able to get some rest and recover.

mujicaptsd 05/01/2019

Thanks, Doo. Recovery still in progress, of course. How are you doing?

soulsearcher83 05/01/2019

Hi Muji. I haven't been on in a while but I'm just reading this. I hope you're doing better now. I don't deal with that exactly. But I lose time. I've had two instances where I've gone to cook a meal, eating it, and then later on gone back to try and pick the same meal because I forgot I did it the first time I actually thought my roommate 85 mistake or something when it first happens. Then it happened again yesterday. And I barely remember making that meal. So in that regard I kind of understand it and relate. But I had ECT so my memory is foggy to begin with. It's hard to say if it's from the ECT or a symptom. I am under a tremendous amount of stress right now. Hoping it eases up for both of us.

mujicaptsd 05/01/2019

Hey, soul, thanks for checking in on me like this and leaving me with a concrete example of what losing time's been like for you before. I lose time, too, in my case when I dissociate like this.

I haven't done ECT, but believe it or not, in spite of the bad stories and images of it from the past when maybe it was done at a higher voltage, now I hear folks say good things. Hope it has worked for you, even though it's affected your memory with fogginess.

Since my chronic kidney disease limits the meds I can take for PTSD, I'm kind of looking on ECT and TMS as treatments in reserve I could still take down the road if I get into major PTSD trouble again.

Sorry you're under tremendous stress right now, soul. I'm sending you my support right now.

powerpurplewarrior 05/01/2019

Muji
4 square breathing is simple. You breath in to a count of 4, hold your breath for 4 counts, blow out for 4 counts and then hold for 4 counts again. Then repeat as long as needed. I usually do 4-5 cycles. Another grounding technique I use is describing the room around me. Like all the colors I see and what it feels like in the chair or sofa I'm sitting in. I welcome dissociation because well for me it's inevitable and because it gives me a break. But I don't have an important job or a family to take care of.
When I'm losing a lot of time or make important decisions and don't remember it or if things get out of control with unsafe behaviors i.e. self injury or SI plans then I've got to get help quickly.
I hope things have settled down for you. Hugs

mujicaptsd 05/01/2019

PP, thanks so much for spelling out for me these tips from what you've been learning. When symptoms overtake me, practicality is what I turn to, simple practical stuff exactly like this. Thanks so much. I taught 3 classes today, 1 was a bust, but 2 out of 3 went well. So I'm mostly managing to be sort of high functioning with this, thanks to tips like yours.

EvergreenDreamer 05/02/2019

Hi muji. I don’t really have anything helpful to add to what you have already heard here. Sending triple hugs of support and hoping you are managing much better now. Xo

mujicaptsd 05/03/2019

Thanks, Ev. I had a weird night, but with PTSD don't we all from time to time? Thankfully, the school year's winding down at work so I'll have time to recover.

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