Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
Last couple of days have been emotionally intense and empowering. I am overly exhausted and overwhelmed.
I am amazed to say that I have earned my shield and voucher this week from my auxiliary police training. It is official. I received the most unexpected call yesterday from my captain when he told me to head down to the Qns headquarters to receive my shield/I.D. My PTSD was in overload and all day, I was completely a nervous wreck and extremely anxious. I had emotions from guilt to happiness to anger to laughter to sadness.
Lately, my PTSD symptoms have increased to a point where I can barely function but I can't feel. I can't seem to take any more noise since the noise in my head makes outside noise even louder. I really want to scream my lungs out but I can't. My mind is completely scrambled, so as my digestive and immune system. I am completely everywhere and my thoughts are to remain alive and ask for some strength, because I feel like a complete mess.
Court date is coming up soon- officially August 14th. I will find out more as time passes by. Also, August 13th is my graduation date for the Auxiliary police.
So many flashbacks, emotions, and events happening all at once, I wonder how God can maintain me functioning? I just don't know what else to do. I find that I am more emotionally aware of myself but I am completely disconnected and at a loss of words.
Psalm 38.
I am amazed to say that I have earned my shield and voucher this week from my auxiliary police training. It is official. I received the most unexpected call yesterday from my captain when he told me to head down to the Qns headquarters to receive my shield/I.D. My PTSD was in overload and all day, I was completely a nervous wreck and extremely anxious. I had emotions from guilt to happiness to anger to laughter to sadness.
Lately, my PTSD symptoms have increased to a point where I can barely function but I can't feel. I can't seem to take any more noise since the noise in my head makes outside noise even louder. I really want to scream my lungs out but I can't. My mind is completely scrambled, so as my digestive and immune system. I am completely everywhere and my thoughts are to remain alive and ask for some strength, because I feel like a complete mess.
Court date is coming up soon- officially August 14th. I will find out more as time passes by. Also, August 13th is my graduation date for the Auxiliary police.
So many flashbacks, emotions, and events happening all at once, I wonder how God can maintain me functioning? I just don't know what else to do. I find that I am more emotionally aware of myself but I am completely disconnected and at a loss of words.
Psalm 38.
what court date is coming up?
PTSD is a horrible thing. I like to say that I live with a very large, and very dangerous dog: I must learn to move around within the space we share and, hopefully, avoid further injury. Whenever I am under any other stress (such as the viral bronchitis I just came through, ugh), my PTSD goes through the roof. If a neighbor says something "nasty" to me, my PTSD goes through the roof. If my apartment manager (I can't live in my house, it's for sale) insists on getting into my apartment for some repair or other, my PTSD goes through the roof and I hang a "do not disturb" sign on my door. There are "echoes" in my head (I'm not talking hallucinations here). I can "hear" the bad things that were said to me on and off throughout my lifetime and it makes my PTSD ZOOM into outer space.
"Knowing" you are reacting but not "feeling" it is dissociation. This is a "normal" part of PTSD. Sooner or later, you will "feel" it. I don't know if you take any medication to help you manage your PTSD but there's nothing wrong in doing that so perhaps you can talk to your doctor.
Use your fear to drive you forward and keep you safely on track. Major change is always triggering and will gradually settle down. Be proud of this strength.
I think a profession where you are protecting others will be particularly satisfying for you. Personally I am only alive due to the diligent action of my local police.
Am thinking positive thoughts for you and hope your court case brings justice.
Hugs to you,