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It started off great... I knew I was goign to have a bad pain day so I had a day of nothing at all planned. I was just laying down for my morning nap when my daughter, who I did not expect for several days, came in!! One of the first words out of her mouth was "PONIES" which made me leap up, bad pain day or not, and get dressed.
We did a bit of quick running around, got food for dogs, ferrets, and Arby's for people then it was out to the stable. She borrowed my horse to go for a nice gallop while I slowly went about grooming hers and saddling in preparation for me to ride... and finished just as my daughter got back. LOL.
So we switched horses to our own and went into the arena. I just rode bareback as that was how she had ridden. We rode for almost another hour - I just walked slow on my horse while he cooled down from his run. Her horse was more frisky and I was glad we had switched. My back was killing me with every step my horse made so being on a bouncy baby was not where I wanted to be.
We had decided we were done and were heading over to my ladder so I could get off when a sudden loud grinding noise spooked both horses. My normally calm horse (at least when I am hurting) bolted at over 40mph coming to an abrupt halt by doing a sliding stop just before hitting the wall of the arena - bouncing me off his neck, but luckily not five feet to the ground.
When my daughter got her horse stopped, I called out to ask the person with the power drill to please not do that when I am riding bareback... my daughter asked three more times for them to stop before they did. By that time, the shock had worn off and my spine exploded in agony. My daughter dismounted and led my scared horse over to the ladder and helped me dismount.
She left me at the ladder as I could not stand while she went to put the horses away. As she passed the woman with the drill, my daughter tried to ask that she not run power tools when people are riding.... Add almost an hour and a half of screaming drama here... I am not going into the details, but the end result was that my safe haven of the horse stable is now destroyed. I am terrified of encountering that person again, or what she might do to my horses or tack when I am not there.
I have been at this stable for 7 years. The stable owner is one of my best friends. As I walked past her to get to the car (in my full speed mode of agony that means I might pass one foot with the other with each step) I told her that I will move the horses out in the morning and we will not be back until that person is no longer at the stable.
I have set up to move my horses to the stable owner's aunt's house in the morning.
I am on lots of pain killers and tranquilizers to stay calm. Hubby fed me a shot of vodka. My mind is having issues focusing. I am going to go take a shower and go take my nap...
yadlim the stressed
We did a bit of quick running around, got food for dogs, ferrets, and Arby's for people then it was out to the stable. She borrowed my horse to go for a nice gallop while I slowly went about grooming hers and saddling in preparation for me to ride... and finished just as my daughter got back. LOL.
So we switched horses to our own and went into the arena. I just rode bareback as that was how she had ridden. We rode for almost another hour - I just walked slow on my horse while he cooled down from his run. Her horse was more frisky and I was glad we had switched. My back was killing me with every step my horse made so being on a bouncy baby was not where I wanted to be.
We had decided we were done and were heading over to my ladder so I could get off when a sudden loud grinding noise spooked both horses. My normally calm horse (at least when I am hurting) bolted at over 40mph coming to an abrupt halt by doing a sliding stop just before hitting the wall of the arena - bouncing me off his neck, but luckily not five feet to the ground.
When my daughter got her horse stopped, I called out to ask the person with the power drill to please not do that when I am riding bareback... my daughter asked three more times for them to stop before they did. By that time, the shock had worn off and my spine exploded in agony. My daughter dismounted and led my scared horse over to the ladder and helped me dismount.
She left me at the ladder as I could not stand while she went to put the horses away. As she passed the woman with the drill, my daughter tried to ask that she not run power tools when people are riding.... Add almost an hour and a half of screaming drama here... I am not going into the details, but the end result was that my safe haven of the horse stable is now destroyed. I am terrified of encountering that person again, or what she might do to my horses or tack when I am not there.
I have been at this stable for 7 years. The stable owner is one of my best friends. As I walked past her to get to the car (in my full speed mode of agony that means I might pass one foot with the other with each step) I told her that I will move the horses out in the morning and we will not be back until that person is no longer at the stable.
I have set up to move my horses to the stable owner's aunt's house in the morning.
I am on lots of pain killers and tranquilizers to stay calm. Hubby fed me a shot of vodka. My mind is having issues focusing. I am going to go take a shower and go take my nap...
yadlim the stressed
What a horrible day. And horse-related. As I've gotten to know you here, y, I've vicariously enjoyed how you enjoy horses. I've appreciated how your love for horses has been calming to you, and how it's a bond that gets you out, keeps you from isolating, a lot of good stuff.
So I never imagined a post about your having a bad day would involve your having a bad day around horses. Never. As you wrote, it was your "safe haven of the horse stable." Now it's gone.
I'm so sorry. I hope tomorrow's move goes better than today went. Gentle support is going out to you as I write this.
Muji
Now I am starting to shake. Hubby wrapped me in his arms to let me feel safe. He also had some insight on what is going on with me.
As a teenager, I was an adrenalin junkie. I was doing my own version of extreme sports bareback on my horse. I used to work cattle in the Sierra Nevada foothills bareback. Heck, my current horse, the one who spooked today, I originally trained as a jousting and mounted archery mount.
The difference is that since I broke my back 9 years ago, there is now pain that slows me down, not to mention the real physical possibility of dying if I get thrown. If I take a hard enough fall, my spine will give way at the weakened break point, my T6, and the nerves that work my diaphragm get severed. My medical doctors hate that I ride. My psych doctor thinks it is the best thing in the world.
But I can still get that adrenaline rush when we climb to the top of a mountain and look out... I can get that rush when we canter along the road for short distances. It is only through my horse that I can get that rush of adrenaline that my brain has deep association with joy. He is my freedom from the pain that my life has become.
But today I was in real danger. In the 15 years I have been riding Shaman, he has never spooked into bolting into a gallop before. He might take a few odd steps here and there, or even make a quick U-turn if really scared, but never has he run off with me. The only thing between me and a possible fatal fall today was my balance and skill... which, considering how much opiates I take is not always good...
But my brain got that adrenaline rush that it sees as joy. Panic wise, I was fine until after I woke up from my nap. Hubby thinks the adrenaline rush filled my system with endorphins, which have now worn off. Now my mind is free to go "oh crap that could have killed me" and thus panic.
I have to make sure that I associate this badness with the woman screaming at my daughter and the stable owner... not my horse, not the stable. I am hoping to be able to go back to the stable after that person leaves... but I might not be able to.
Tomorrow, at the new place, which is just a friend's back yard, a five acre back yard, but just a back yard, I will get up and ride. Prove to myself that it is not my horse.
I will let you know how that goes... after I broke my back, it was years before I could get on my horse and not have to cry for five minutes before riding off...
yadlim the stressed
You f,ing go chick! Good hubby! good daughter , ANdD good horse ,very good horse.
Rock on!
So I can sympathize.
Anyone using power tools near animals? Especially horses? Is the problem. Shaman did great, and so did you. He may have figured he was taking you away rom danger and that's why he "bolted".... He sensed your distress and said, "Time to fly, bye-bye."
Gentlest wishes and I hope you can get it all calmed down....
I neer read my adrenaline rushes as joy, more as a release of tension... but iunderstand that. Boy do I ever!
Peace,
Leo
the move this morning got postponned as my SUV did not want to come out of 4WD low and it took waiting for hubby to get up to do the "trick" to make it go back to 2 wheel drive. So we are moving this afternoon.
A few more hours of stress, then it will be over.
yadlim
got to go
yadlim
yadlim who is tired, but not stressed
If the lady with the drill was inappropriate, I can't imagine your friend would want her there but I have no idea of the details.
I'm just feeling bad for you with all the pain and anxiety as well as the wonderful, safe space of the stables being disrupted (I won't say destroyed because I'm hoping you can reestablish it as a safe place).
Sending hugs.