OMG Norma! You and Jim are in my prayers. This is so upsetting. :( I was hoping for some good news this morning as I logged in on DS. You are such a lovely person. I am here for you. You sound like you have a wonderful family. God bless.

Thank you for the update.

Love, Jen XXOO

My heart go out to you and your family. I'm hoping and praying for you.

I believe where there is light there is hope. Jim's light may be flickering but it hasn't gone out.
please everyone, keep up your prayers to keep the light burning.

As always, we're here for you Norma. We continue to hope for Jim.

Chewitt

I agree with Spiderwoman, I am focusing on that glimmer of hope with all my strength. Tears here as well...... prayers, not much words..... I don't know what to say, but will continue to pray.......

Much love
Heather

sending you love Norma and hopes and prayers for Jim, you and your family.

Norma I can't believe what you are going through. I am so sorry for you and your family, My prayers are with you!!!! Not sure what I can do but if there is anything at all let me know!!! Even if it is just someone to talk to dear friend!!

Hugs!!!!

Barb

Hi, Norma!

Yeah.
The process of saying good-bye.
Never easy.

I don't know if you follow a spiritual tradition, but I suspect that since you acknowledge prayer that God is in your life in some mystical way.

There will be life on the other of this.

And this community will still be here for you.

Remember, you are not alone.

Peace and Blessings!
CoachRichie

Norma, I wish so badly we could be there in person and wrap our arms around you and love you. Your family sounds amazing, loving and supportive just like you, but I know we all want to be there for you. Words just aren't adequate. Praying and keeping hope alive. Love to you and your family.
Heidi

Norma,
My grandfather survived a burst, grapefruit sized, aortic aneurysm when he was in his late sixties but it was not easy and it was touch and go with him, just like it sounds it is with Jim. I sincerely hope that this will not be the last visit for the grandkids and I, like everybody else, is very glad you have your family around you.
Lisa H

Norma,
Mere words can't describe how I feel reading this. If only I had a magic wand and could take the pain away and make Jim healthy again!You and Jim are so incredibly special; I feel that you're part of my family!

Hopefully Jim just needs some more time on the ventilator, time for his body to heal before he's ready to breathe completely on his own again. His body has been through an incredible trauma and sometimes it just takes the body a bit more times to decide it's ready to give up that extra support right away. This hasn't been long, even through the doctors always have this assumption that on day X all patients should be off a respirator. Well we already know Jim isn't everyone; he's already beat those upstate New York doctors to a pulp when it comes to his throat cancer; hopefully he'll do the same this time.

As for the ICU and having to wait outside; that is done for the convenience of the ICU staff, not for the patient. All they're doing while you sit and anxiously wait is monitor vitals at a nursing station (all monitors are usually seen at a main monitoring station). There is no reason you can't be in the room holding Jim's hand all the time except during shift change. All military ICUs permit one or two family members/close friends to be present at all times once a patient is set up in the ICU (except during shift change, so there's about one hour twice a day that family members need to step out); there's no reason you can't do the same. Be a pest and ask to spend time with Jim instead of in the waiting room (it's ludicrous to have to wait outside!).

Please know you are very, very loved and so is Jim and the rest of your family. You are in our thoughts and prayers and if there is anything we can do, just let us know.

Love and lots of hugs,
Ruth

You, Jim and your family are in our hopes and prayers.

My very first comment, is thank God you are back Ruth, you'll never in a million years know how much you were missed!! And Heather, I am so very happy for you, but you know that already. Normally I would have been out the driveway this morning, but there are cars everywhere and no one to be seen, so I'am stuck here until someone gets up. JIm is still on the ventilator and I'am becoming increasingly concerned for him and very scared that they may put a trach in him, I don't think that I would give them permission to do that,but I'll have to wait and see I guess. Over all he is better, I spoke with the pulmologist or how ever you spell it, yesterday for quite a long time. She informs me that Jim will recovery, it's just a matter of time. It is a miracle that he survived this thing, 90% of people don't make it out of the operating room but my husband did so I have to be hopefull. He is very, very, very anxious and they are giving them anxiety meds, some work, some don't. When they cut back the meds and turn back the vetilator, he wakes up and they don't want him awake just yet, but they do want him off the ventilator. I called the ICU at 4:00 this morning and they said he had an uneventful night, but that they are still pulling mucus out of his lungs, he has aspirational pneumonia and is responding to the two antibiotics he is on, but apparently not good enough for them to take him off the ventilator as they promised me last night. I'am beginning to get scared again, does anyone know anything about this? He knows when I am in the room, let alone to touch his hand. I don't know how he knows, but he does as he will begin waking up, his hands will move and his feet and he struggles to do something. I get nervous and get the nurse. She says that he can feel my presence and that it's ok for him to be doing that. She told me to hold his hand and talk to him, reassure him that I am ok as I know he is worrying about me. He is very sedated but knows when I am there. My heart is beating like a drum this morning and I want to get to the hospital, but I sure don't want to wake anyone up so I'll have to just wait I guess. Dr. Amin has called me 3 times since this all has happened. It seems as if the hospital called him when they found out about the vocal cord cancer as they were concerned about the placement of the tube in his throat, knowing that his cancer has been recent. Dr. Amin advised them and guided them through the process so as not to injure the vocal cords. I cannot believe this wonderful man, going to all this trouble for Jim and I. He calls me on my cell phone just to make sure that Jim is ok and has offered his survices for anything that we might need. This has to be one of the highlights of our lives to have such a famous doctor show so much concern. I am humbled beyond words.

Again, thank you all for your letters, I read them every day. Congratulations to everyone that is having anything wonderful happen in their lives and know that my love is always with you, helping to guide you along this path. I will be back, I just know it, I just don't know when, but feel my love always.

Lots of love,
Norma...

Norma you are an incredible person!!!! I can't imagine going through what you are going through and still think of us. I thank you for that!!!! I wish I was as good as you are with your words. I just want to say that you, Jim and your family are in my prayers. I know he will pull through this because he has a loving wife like you!!!!! Keep on going my dear you are amazing!!!!!

Hugs!!!!

Barb

Oh Norma....... reading through..... so glad to get information, but still holding my breath with you, hoping, praying....waiting with you. Still, no words, except I know we are all with you in this......

Much love
Heather

Norma,
The mere fact Jim DID make it out of the OR and has anxiety about being on a ventilator and having a tube stuck down his throat is actually a GOOD sign. He's already made the miraculous recovery (surviving the aneurysm); now it's a matter of getting him weaned off the ventilator (that will help his lungs and getting rid of the pneumonia as well).

It makes perfect sense that he knows when you're there; he's sedated with anti-anxiety medications only, not in a coma, so he feels your touch and hears you're voice. He's just far to groggy and sedated to do much in the way of respond. But hearing your voice and feeling your touch is most assuredly calming and I'm confindent it helps to hear the you're okay (he''s undoubtedly worried about you, just as you're worried about him). Tell him how you're doing, how the kids are, all positive, loving statements. Let him know that people have called to ask about him and are thrilled to hear he's recovering, and are looking forward to being able to talk with him once he's off the ventilator when he's ready to wean off that as well (ask the doctor about how to address or if you can/should even address the ventilator issue...if it still is an issue).

And if for some reason they talk about him needing a tracheotomy, talk with Dr. Amin about it (it can be done without harming the vocal cords). It may be an alternate way of working to wean him off the ventilator. You have a wonderful doctor who knows what he's doing who is ready and willing to provide you advice and guidance; the mere fact he's called and kept in touch is wonderful!

BTW, next time there are cars everywhere, start riffling through pockets and pocketbooks and take whatever car is closest to the curb and just leave a note. Or wake folks up to get their keys and then send them back to bed. I can't imagine anyone not understanding why you took their car to go to the hospital. And new home rule: NO ONE blocks YOU in!

Love and prayers surround you all,
Ruth