At the worst - depression, feeling of complete devastation and that its not worth the struggle any more. Can't stop crying, can't string 2 coherent thoughts together, like I have to think through a huge wall of cotton wool (so obviously that doesn't work real well), feel utterly alone on the planet like I'm an alien and no one can see me for who I am, I hate everyone and want to hurt and smash heads (god that sounds SO bad!), no tolerance or patience for anything, SO, SO, frickin tired, utterly exhausted, shaky like I'm full of jumping beans, weak, sometimes coupled with adrenalin which is very physically and mentally conflicting, uncoordinated and clumsy, dropping everything and walking into walls, nauseous, but just want to cram greasy burgers into my face, I get anxiety, and a feeling of just existing in an extreme state of distress and overwhelmed by the most simplest of everyday tasks, can't get a full breath of air in my lungs like my chest is seized up... the not so exciting symptoms are sore breasts, pimples, trouble sleeping. My period bleeds in clumps, cramps are severe and include my legs as well - I can't get up, I get headache and back ache and vomit, but at least after a few days I get a week of relief which equals just being fucking exhausted from living thru all of that - and crying becuase I feel like someone has a voodoo doll of me and I know the next onslaught is not far away.It turns me into a horrible being inside and out.
Normally, I love people all shapes, personalities, bumps and all. I'm compassionate and patient. Normally I'm positive, focus on the beauty and happiness in the smallest things in life. Nomally, I prefer to be doing something while I'm sick than just sit and moan about being sick. Normally, I could never evr run out of amazing things to see, do, create, experience, that I'd think its not worth the struggle anymore. Normally, people describe me as fun and happy. Normally, I love being alive. Until about three years ago. Now thats not normal anymore. I feel ripped off and I want it back.
I'm sorry its been such a negative post, its the first time I've evr really said it how it feels to me without trying to gloss it over so as not to freak anyone out. I hope you guys in PMDD Hell can understand.
I already suffer from depression. I have just begun being treated for fibromyalgia. I am constantly tired...but I've noticed that especially the week before my period I can feel myself being highly irritated with everything. I start to pick fights. I try to change my thoughts, but they get worse. I literally cause psychological hell on my loved ones. It culminates with the day before my period where is seems I go on a rampage. I feel horrible. It's like cognantly understanding what is happening and wanting to not go crazy. But, I do and I feel horrible afterwards. Then when my period starts, I feel normal again. I can pinpoint all of my broken relationships ending the week before my period starts. Now, I just feel like an emotional wreck, because I am not being treated and I don't know where to go, what to do, what type of help is out there. I don't know what all the sypmtoms of pmdd are, but the irrational, crazy, angry ones are what I'm most concerned about.
Normally, I love people all shapes, personalities, bumps and all. I'm compassionate and patient. Normally I'm positive, focus on the beauty and happiness in the smallest things in life. Nomally, I prefer to be doing something while I'm sick than just sit and moan about being sick. Normally, I could never evr run out of amazing things to see, do, create, experience, that I'd think its not worth the struggle anymore. Normally, people describe me as fun and happy. Normally, I love being alive. Until about three years ago. Now thats not normal anymore. I feel ripped off and I want it back.
I'm sorry its been such a negative post, its the first time I've evr really said it how it feels to me without trying to gloss it over so as not to freak anyone out. I hope you guys in PMDD Hell can understand.