Hey Free,

Scary stuff. Unbelievable...but he wouldn't be able to look at any new emails after he made the copy, right? Sorry, I'm not the technically savy.

And how do you run a scan? I would like to that as well.

Sorry for your findings. He is a creep. Glad it is not having too much of a negative impact on you.

LT

Be careful. I had to change my entire email because of my exH. I found out he hacked me on at least 3 occasions (that I know of). I have switched to gmail with two-step login. But I still regularly check the list of IP addresses which were used to login. He also (I am pretty sure, unless it was one of our few mutual friends who helped him) broke into my FB account, which really pisses me off. I have him blocked for a reason! (I no longer use FB.) My kids have told me he has password cracking software installed on his computer. He's an IT expert. Ugh.

I have been stalked online by another would-be boyfriend, too. In really creepy ways. It's so bizarre really because a normal person would be able to accept that you don't want to be with them and just move on. Others obsess, refuse to accept it and watch you and your every move. It is really freaky. I mean you think, I did find out he was doing this, but what else is he doing that I'm not even aware of?

I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this.

I hope that you keep a copy of what he did (as in print screening it to a word doc & putting on a flash drive) and then create a new email address w/a name so not like you that he would never figure it out. Keep the old one but give the new address to ONLY very trusted people.

Then start a file on him for the future possibility of pressing stalking charges.

Also change all your passwords to everything, using the new email account.

Have your phone checked by your cell provider, explaining you're worried that you're being stalked. You can do simple things like turn off the gps/tracking system that comes in most smart phones.

And take your computer to an office supply store or computer place and ask them to do a check for further spy ware.

Finally don't let him know you know.

PS, for others who read this that are still w/your abuser or your abuser has possible access to to your phone &/or computer, make sure you erase ALL history, cookies and cache after using the computer & phone (yes, your smart phone gets cookies attached) especially after being on DS. There are free downloadable programs that notify you when you're being tracked. And as I suggested in my previous reply, take your computer and phone to a professional and have them check for tracking software and spyware. I think most do that for free.

Hi LT,

There are several scans I use... Windows virus scans (most computers do this automatically), a defragmenting scan and a scan by MalwareBytes (it is free).

I think the version he downloaded was an offline copy. However, I think he did more than that... A couple weeks ago, my computer was running slow and I detected a spyware virus. I thought it was from the internet... But I found two versions of it, and one had been recently updated remotely. The files were created at the same time as the offline copy of my email. Now I think they were spyware that he installed to view my computer remotely.


I was just talking to my best friend. She was with many of the times I would receive weird, ominous texts from him. We would be out, and I would sometimes look over my shoulder because I felt like he had to be there. I think he just read everything and used it against me. She is less than shocked...

No wonder he has been in low contact with me... He is still receiving supply from the comfort of his own home! I cannot tell you how many emails I wrote about him... And if he snooped that far, he has probably seen this site. Ugh!!!

Thanks, MTC! Good advice...

I did delete everything before I saw him, but that doesn't prevent tracking software for the times when you are not with him.

I honestly thought he would do nothing like this... The man is less than tech smart, or so I thought... Now I think it was a big act!

The spyware I found on my computer was new, and ran undetected my McAfee, Norton, ect. Only MalwareBytes caught it...

So creepy!




Far and away- Yes, I do wonder what else he has been doing. I have so many files that I have written about him... Stories, ect. All deeply personal stuff.

And now I wonder, what else has he seen?

That is scary and creepy to find out your computer usage is being monitored. I too opened a new email acct to open a DS acct n I often write thoughts down to that email. Instances, convos I've had n received advice on from family n friends. I wld hate it if he found that stuff.

MTC do you have the name of the software to see if you're being tracked? Do you know if he wld be able to see it? Is it detectable?

The thing that ticks me off the most about it is that you feel unsafe EVERYWHERE! You finally find a way of venting and healing and then you get paranoid when you use it! It's just another sick way of isolating us. We don't deserve support from friends or strangers. We don't deserve to be able to interact with other people online. We should be cowering and fearful and isolated forever! It's kind of dehumanizing, isn't it? (I live in a foreign country and the internet is my lifeline.)

My exH also asked my kids to type my wifi router password into his phone. So, he doesn't 'know' the password, but he uses my wifi if he is at my door! He stands out there watching videos or whatever, just to show me. (Need to figure out how to change the password, I have no clue.) The creepy part is that he could sit outside my house and hack my email from my OWN IP address.

notmyself & everyone else. I'm sorry I mispoke about the ability of the tracking detection program I downloaded. It appears it only is able to detect websites & third party websites who are tracking where you go on the internet. So unless they are tracking from a website, I doubt it would help. But just in case, it's called donottrackme by abine.

I am by no means a computer expert. But I know enough to say that even if you did a restore my computer to a previous date, it probably wouldn't get rid of any tracking software that was installed on your computer.

There are many free anti-virus and anti-spyware/malware programs that could pick up on some of the tracking programs, however, not all of them. So if you go that route, you probably need to use more than one of each because not all pick up on the same stuff.

I stand by my suggestion to take your computer to the experts and let them look. The other option is to 'crash' your computer by reformatting it and restoring it to factory original. That takes time, especially to update the operating system (windows, etc) and then reloading your programs. Some computer places will do that for you for a charge (where I live, it's about $100).

From what I can tell there are programs that are called keyloggers that track everything you type. Some of them are very hard to detect.

I can't vouch for this person, but this is a fairly current website I found that gives some sensible advice. http://www.securitygeeks.net/2013/06/how-to-find-out-if-you-have-keylogger.html

There's also something called "rootkit" that keeps coming up in my searches. So you might want to research rootkit removal as well. If it were me, I'd call a reputable computer place w/experienced techs and let them check it out. Before I did, tho, I'd ask questions about the tech's level of experience, years of training and amount of training when it comes to removing this type of tracking software.

Again, I do apologize for misspeaking about the donottrackme.

Chilling. Of course, if finances allow, there's always the option of getting a new cpu.

My wife read and copied my emails, too. Then confessed to it when I need to fill in my lawyer, and offered to let me have access to them. She then asked me 'please don't use this against me, though, because I'm helping you with it.'

I brought it up in our counseling, and her first response was 'I asked you not to use this against me! '

And far, you're absolutely right. You don't know where they are, what they're doing - powerful fear and paranoia. One of my favorite authors wrote a quip 'it isn't paranoia if there actually IS an invisible demon about to eat your face.'

Good luck to you all in staying safe in this new realm.

Never underestimate what your abuser will do ! Please be safe.

No apologies MTC :)
I'm not a techy savvy person. I am scared that perhaps my husband installed something on my computer or checked phone records when I "stepped out" and if I try to leave he will use that against me. I'm so frustrated that I've given myself that added stress to worry about.

My husband actually googled how to check my text messages without me knowing. I am very concerned with what lengths he might go to.

I don't think any of us should feel bad about not knowing, or thinking, that our loved ones would do this too us. Yes, we know they are not normal- that is why we are here, but as Far and Bax (and many others) have pointed out, you just don't think that this level of spying is possible!

My sister works in the Tech industry, and has for the past 7 years and even she didn't know this is possible!!! I had to tell her how to I found it for her to believe me... I am a little pissed right now that she didn't even believe me

My best friend has been spinning ever since I told her. As I posted earlier, she was with me when I would get some really disturbing emails and text messages... She realized even before I did that he probably bugged my phone as well. He always seemed to know things that he would have no way of knowing....

And yes, I am pissed that he has probably been seeing and reading what I wrote here. It makes me sick to my stomach to not feel safe posting or seeking help. It is isolating and disturbing....