Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Sorry this is soooooo long.....hang with me and chime in your thoughts if you wish.
My verbally abusive ex has a new girlfriend. She has a 6 year old and a 10 year old. I seriously feel sorry for her. From the outside he seems like a great catch.
I expected him to move on after the divorce but seriously he is not stable enough....Let me set it up for you.
He refuses to communicate with me and does everything thru Trey, yes our 15 year old. I on the other hand send him texts or emails so he knows what is up with our kids. I dont really care if he doesnt like it, I will do the right thing and communicate. So I email him last Monday that I was going to go to the school info parent meeting on Thurs because when Trey comes back from his youth trip to Maine he is mine that week. He never acknowledged my email. He jumped ahead of the meeting and picked up the only copy of Treys class schedule, locker number, etc. I was a bit hot because when I got there, it was all gone and I wasted my time. SO I emailed him. Here is what I got back.
----- Original Message -----
Sent: Friday, August 13, 2010 1:58 PM
Subject: Communication
Bob, how did you plan on getting the schedule, locker number and info to Trey and I that you picked up before the meeting I went to last night? You could have told me you were going, you could have sent me a copy of the info, better yet you could have let me do it because as you know I will send the info to you anyway. When are you going to realize we have joint custody and that means until he is 18 we must communicate, even at the very minimal level we can just simply communicate only necessary info, no more, no less. The way you are going about this is in direct contradiction to what the courts want and involving Trey in a battle that he doesnt need to be messing with. We are the adults and we need to let him be a kid, not a messenger. I only want communication about Trey and or Megan when it is necessary.
Thanks
....................................
His response......
I will begin by saying this....I ALWAYS have my children's best interest in mind....so I'm not in the least interested in your clouded version of reality on my parenting.....just because I don't give you a play by play is something your going to have to live with....when will YOU realize you are not the center of the universe....
Violation of the court...what a joke....you kill me...what battle is there?....just because you didn't get one piece of paperwork last night you're all ruffled up? Last time I checked I was fully capable of obtaining his paperwork and getting it to him just as you are.....I noticed you didn't ask or care about how he is going to get all his school supplies that I have already purchased....he can come over when he gets back from his trip and get those or I can give them to him when I pick him up for the first day of school next Wednesday....
You're just mad because things didn't unfold the exactly way you liked....sorry princess....its OK...just consider it more ammo....you can go spin it anyway you like and blast me and make me look bad to all your "friends" while you're just so pious and wonderful like you always have....speaking of which.....you know, it is amazing how things come out of the woodwork over time....you should really be more careful to whom and what you flap your mouth off to...you have lost tons of credibility with those who once were in your life.....
And while I have this opportunity I will make just one of many points....talk about contradiction of our agreement...how many times has Trey been late to get home on Fridays....I never have complained...while at the same time you have never once apologized....so don't give me any crap about how I have not been in full agreement to what we have established......trust me....I have been more than generous in ways you will never know of....bottom line....this divorce simply is no different than our marriage...Your way or the highway.....
My verbally abusive ex has a new girlfriend. She has a 6 year old and a 10 year old. I seriously feel sorry for her. From the outside he seems like a great catch.
I expected him to move on after the divorce but seriously he is not stable enough....Let me set it up for you.
He refuses to communicate with me and does everything thru Trey, yes our 15 year old. I on the other hand send him texts or emails so he knows what is up with our kids. I dont really care if he doesnt like it, I will do the right thing and communicate. So I email him last Monday that I was going to go to the school info parent meeting on Thurs because when Trey comes back from his youth trip to Maine he is mine that week. He never acknowledged my email. He jumped ahead of the meeting and picked up the only copy of Treys class schedule, locker number, etc. I was a bit hot because when I got there, it was all gone and I wasted my time. SO I emailed him. Here is what I got back.
----- Original Message -----
Sent: Friday, August 13, 2010 1:58 PM
Subject: Communication
Bob, how did you plan on getting the schedule, locker number and info to Trey and I that you picked up before the meeting I went to last night? You could have told me you were going, you could have sent me a copy of the info, better yet you could have let me do it because as you know I will send the info to you anyway. When are you going to realize we have joint custody and that means until he is 18 we must communicate, even at the very minimal level we can just simply communicate only necessary info, no more, no less. The way you are going about this is in direct contradiction to what the courts want and involving Trey in a battle that he doesnt need to be messing with. We are the adults and we need to let him be a kid, not a messenger. I only want communication about Trey and or Megan when it is necessary.
Thanks
....................................
His response......
I will begin by saying this....I ALWAYS have my children's best interest in mind....so I'm not in the least interested in your clouded version of reality on my parenting.....just because I don't give you a play by play is something your going to have to live with....when will YOU realize you are not the center of the universe....
Violation of the court...what a joke....you kill me...what battle is there?....just because you didn't get one piece of paperwork last night you're all ruffled up? Last time I checked I was fully capable of obtaining his paperwork and getting it to him just as you are.....I noticed you didn't ask or care about how he is going to get all his school supplies that I have already purchased....he can come over when he gets back from his trip and get those or I can give them to him when I pick him up for the first day of school next Wednesday....
You're just mad because things didn't unfold the exactly way you liked....sorry princess....its OK...just consider it more ammo....you can go spin it anyway you like and blast me and make me look bad to all your "friends" while you're just so pious and wonderful like you always have....speaking of which.....you know, it is amazing how things come out of the woodwork over time....you should really be more careful to whom and what you flap your mouth off to...you have lost tons of credibility with those who once were in your life.....
And while I have this opportunity I will make just one of many points....talk about contradiction of our agreement...how many times has Trey been late to get home on Fridays....I never have complained...while at the same time you have never once apologized....so don't give me any crap about how I have not been in full agreement to what we have established......trust me....I have been more than generous in ways you will never know of....bottom line....this divorce simply is no different than our marriage...Your way or the highway.....
wvartgirl
Take it all with a gain of salt. My ex and I only communicate via email yet he also communicates things to me via our 13-year old son. My ex, like your ex, is an abuser and you can only expect the worst from them. Since your son is 15 make him responsible for getting his class info. Communicate with your ex as little as possible but when you do only expect his rage...that's all he has to give. Hugs to you becuase I know how you feel...
deleted_user
What a dick! You have every right to be frustrated. He is being very childish. He thinks he is so smart talking to you this way and using big words and all.
Livndadrem
Sounds JUST like my ex. Fortunately, I no longer have to communicate with him. Sorry for your difficulties, but the others are right, you just have to try and not let it get to you.
deleted_user
He is only pissed because he can't get high any more (abusing you) They go through withdrawels because their power has been taking away from them. I really feel sorry for the women they charm into their lives. Oh well hopefully they will see it before it gets out of hand. Take care Jo Jo.
Join the Conversation