Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
If you don't want to read the background, skip to the *****
Thirty days ago today my abusive girlfriend came and took all her furniture, most of her clothes, etc, some of my linens and so forth but no everything. Pulled up in a UHaul with her new boyfriend driving (I found out later she had been seeing him for at least a month before I kicked her out) her son, daughter, and a couple flunkies and loaded the truck right up. I sent her a registered letter with return receipt stating that any property left after 30 days would be considered abandoned.
About once a week I've been trying to send her a message via Yahoo messenger that I wanted the rest her crap out of the house and her permanently out of my life. I knew she had blocked my ID so I used ID's she didn't know about to send the messages. I also messaged her daughter and asked the daughter to forward it to her. Her legal husband (J**** estranged 3 years) and I have been chatting since before the break up.
She had sabotaged my computer before she left by placing magnets on the hard drive; it wouldn't boot up. I had been using a borrowed computer but I finally had to give that one back so I had my geek put together a rebuilt system and slave my old drive to it. While I was in his shop I got a wild hair and sent her a message, "I am at the computer shop, Thanks so much for leaving physical evidence that you f**ked up my computer. You can forget about your stuff, it's all going in the trash or to Goodwill today, except the disks with family photos which I will save for your family's sake." I'm sure she did not know the disks had been left behind.
When I got home there was a reply, "If you trash my stuff I'll sue you and get all $5000 [max in small claims court] and I'm getting a restraining order against you."
I replied, "What a pity I didn't get your empty threats before I took your trash to goodwill. It took quite awhile to get my new computer up and running at home and I didn't get your message until too late. No property of yours remains at [my home address]. Please never darken my doorway again. Your legal husband (J*** not F***) has your disks and F****'s pellet gun. See you in court."
(F is her youngest son (20) that she is committing emotional incest with)
I had told J**** that I had considered sending the photo disks to her grandmother in another state. Apparently he shared this information with her. She thought she had deleted her family contact info off of my computer but after the first time she deleted something off my pc I had backed up my phone list by emailing it to myself.
Now to the good part.
******************
I was chatting with my new lady friend when an add friend request came on screen and the message was "I'm the mother****er you're looking for" so I accepted and the fun began. It was my ex, pretending to be her new boyfriend.
She can type at an incredibly fast rate and usually no errors. At first she was typing quickly and the occasional error but as it progressed she was typing at her normal ~120 wpm. And a couple times she used her sarcastic sentence structure that used to make me cringe.
I told her "boyfriend" to take good care of her as she is really sick. I explained that she has Borderline Personality Disorder and I recommended "he" read I hate you, don't leave me.
"Please do take care of her. I tried but she pushed me away. I will always wonder how it turns out for her and her kids but I know I have to move on. She keeps hollering about a restraining order, but the only message I've tried to send since she left is get your things and go. That's no basis for a protective order and it's not like I did it every day, only once a week"
The more she was reacting to what I was saying the more the charade fell apart. She tried to push my buttons and I was laughing. She was trying to insult me by saying things that she certainly never would have shared with a new partner. It was just so incredibly cathartic that she was trying to hurt me and IT HAD NO EFFECT.
You guys here have been so wonderfully supportive that I had to share this with you - I hope it brightens your day as much as it did mine.
Thanks again for being here.
Thirty days ago today my abusive girlfriend came and took all her furniture, most of her clothes, etc, some of my linens and so forth but no everything. Pulled up in a UHaul with her new boyfriend driving (I found out later she had been seeing him for at least a month before I kicked her out) her son, daughter, and a couple flunkies and loaded the truck right up. I sent her a registered letter with return receipt stating that any property left after 30 days would be considered abandoned.
About once a week I've been trying to send her a message via Yahoo messenger that I wanted the rest her crap out of the house and her permanently out of my life. I knew she had blocked my ID so I used ID's she didn't know about to send the messages. I also messaged her daughter and asked the daughter to forward it to her. Her legal husband (J**** estranged 3 years) and I have been chatting since before the break up.
She had sabotaged my computer before she left by placing magnets on the hard drive; it wouldn't boot up. I had been using a borrowed computer but I finally had to give that one back so I had my geek put together a rebuilt system and slave my old drive to it. While I was in his shop I got a wild hair and sent her a message, "I am at the computer shop, Thanks so much for leaving physical evidence that you f**ked up my computer. You can forget about your stuff, it's all going in the trash or to Goodwill today, except the disks with family photos which I will save for your family's sake." I'm sure she did not know the disks had been left behind.
When I got home there was a reply, "If you trash my stuff I'll sue you and get all $5000 [max in small claims court] and I'm getting a restraining order against you."
I replied, "What a pity I didn't get your empty threats before I took your trash to goodwill. It took quite awhile to get my new computer up and running at home and I didn't get your message until too late. No property of yours remains at [my home address]. Please never darken my doorway again. Your legal husband (J*** not F***) has your disks and F****'s pellet gun. See you in court."
(F is her youngest son (20) that she is committing emotional incest with)
I had told J**** that I had considered sending the photo disks to her grandmother in another state. Apparently he shared this information with her. She thought she had deleted her family contact info off of my computer but after the first time she deleted something off my pc I had backed up my phone list by emailing it to myself.
Now to the good part.
******************
I was chatting with my new lady friend when an add friend request came on screen and the message was "I'm the mother****er you're looking for" so I accepted and the fun began. It was my ex, pretending to be her new boyfriend.
She can type at an incredibly fast rate and usually no errors. At first she was typing quickly and the occasional error but as it progressed she was typing at her normal ~120 wpm. And a couple times she used her sarcastic sentence structure that used to make me cringe.
I told her "boyfriend" to take good care of her as she is really sick. I explained that she has Borderline Personality Disorder and I recommended "he" read I hate you, don't leave me.
"Please do take care of her. I tried but she pushed me away. I will always wonder how it turns out for her and her kids but I know I have to move on. She keeps hollering about a restraining order, but the only message I've tried to send since she left is get your things and go. That's no basis for a protective order and it's not like I did it every day, only once a week"
The more she was reacting to what I was saying the more the charade fell apart. She tried to push my buttons and I was laughing. She was trying to insult me by saying things that she certainly never would have shared with a new partner. It was just so incredibly cathartic that she was trying to hurt me and IT HAD NO EFFECT.
You guys here have been so wonderfully supportive that I had to share this with you - I hope it brightens your day as much as it did mine.
Thanks again for being here.
I think that's why the best way to go is no contact, if you can absolutely help it.
I am still praying mine just leaves me in peace, looks like he's going in that direction, but I'm still being smart and checking my back...you never know....!
I guess I was thinking that this would be encouraging for everyone that I was in such a bad place only a few days ago, crying as I typed a message here, and now I feel like I've been released. I was terrified of what might happen if/when she comes for the rest of her things but now I think I'll be able to laugh at her.
You are lucky you don't now have to go through what would most likely be a very contentious divorce....
I wouldn't worry about a protective order either, because I don't think you WANT to be within 50 miles of her...let alone 150' or whatever it is....and I don't think asking her to pick up her stuff is grounds for that. LOL. She sounds like a real ditz.
Good luck to you...Glad you made it out, and it seem fairly intact!
Twas a moment in time when you finally got the last laugh. Ah, savor the moment.
Now stop talking to her period.