Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
He calls me names constantly!! He cant say a sentence w/out callin me bitch or hoe! He finds everything he can to start an argument. I really dont understand y he does it. He says he loves me sooo much but calls me names constantly!! He makes rude comments about me and gets mad when i say he's rude. He says thats the same as him callin me names. Well f*** stop doing it and I wont say it. I can't exactly stop being a bitch and a hoe when im not doing anything! He starts ALL the arguments. Its impossible to reason w/ him at all!! I just want him to understand that he is rude as hell and its not necessary. But he will never see his own flaws. Does anyone have any explanation why they have to be so damn mean for no reason?!
What a heck of a dance partner you have. most of us on DS have dance similar if not the same dance even for a moment.
I assume that you are not a pdoc nor therapest nor psych nurse so why waste your time trying to figure him out and what makes him tick and why he says, does and behave as he does.
That entergy would be more benifitual spent on you creating a step by step plan to leave his sorry butt or dropping him off at the curb on your way to work- someone w low self esteem will pick up garbage.
Entergy would be better spent on obtaining a pdoc and therapest and learning about our own selves and useing life tools for each of difrent stages in our moveing forward in learning and reclaiming and obtaining a healthier life style and knowledge to spot a walking hemrroid who at 1st has sweet words of kindness, befor he even verbally speaks you will be able to detect his profile - his true self and even have knowledge of his childhood and his life and even his future even if he doesnt know what he will do next you will know by knowing to know his profile.
He says words that he says because of your prior reactions - behavior to the words.
He does so to get the reaction and in his mind to get or keep a control grip over you and yourlife.
Such males have low self esteem and un resolve issue --s ( Its not your place to get him to acknowledge his behavior nor his issues nor to get him into treatment )
So of course they half to break thier mate to point that he not threaten that woman wont leave him and will put up w his sorry sick butt and such males count on brow beating a woman to point that she will assist him in brow beating her so that he doesnt half to work so hard at doing so.
( sweet words sink ships)
Such tactic is likein to game play which goes like this:
Mind games, Isolation, ellimination from friends & family, financial control and brow beating and control of property and illiminate any possible resource of monie
I personal wont waste my time speaking with anyone who has consumed 2 alcohol drinks and I know not to enter into any type of agreement with an alcoholic so why would you allow your self to take the bait & to be sucked into a disfunk conversation espically when his intent is to cloud the conversation and gain control over you by sucking you into an arguement. will he knows you wont be going out w girlfriends and this if your not in public, men wont be looking at you and nor will they have chance to speak with you and you'll be lessly to bump into friends and friends of friends who might accidently inform you of his where abouts and where they may have seen him and/are they know he wasnt at work on such n such day because they senn him at mall are pub are they think its great that Ms and your male pc of __ attends your son little legal together. yep that is a big threat to him in his mind.
Yep such males count on thier woman to sult & cry to point that thier less likely to do anything - so they know she some where inside house racking her brain trying to figure out what she did are didnt do etc...
instead of takeing care of her self and her over all health. yep such men count on thier woman to have self pitty partys - its part of the grip of control.
People dont neccessary half to be an alcoholic that drinks to have the mind that thinks and reason as an alcoholic that drinks.
1 neighbour who an alcoholic on a neighbor hood street effects all that resides on the same street and yes just that 1 person who an alcoholic effects the community as a whole.
Law enforcement and others know not to think about trying to reason with such male that you described so why waste your time and physical entergy on disfunk,walking talking hemrroid?
There is alot of helpful info on DS post and DS replys - comments and, local librarys have self help books and med books on abuse - abusers, depression etc...
Answer to your question just might be that as a child he was taught to be as he is and has reinforce it in his self thur out his life and he is in the cycle of abuse.
You will gain knowledge and be able to bring yourself to step outside the cycle of abused - abuser profile. You already are stronger than you realize and when your ready you will use your strength and reclaim your physical entergy for careing for yourself.
Pissst,such males are actually only little bullys and they learn by reactions what buttons to push to gain and maintain and keep control for they have no real control of thier own selves so they half to obtain people who have low self esteem in thier lives.
Let your priority be YOU, all about YOU, take care of Yourself for Yourself and for us on DS.
looking forward to chatting w you, Take care.
I HEAR YOU!I've been through the same (5 years). One night I asked him if he loved me so much, then why did he speak to me and treat me the way he does?
He answered, "Honestly? Because I am jealous of you".
The rest falls into place after you decide
that no one gets to abuse you.
Then he nice and says we have to stop, how sick is that? I can't be confident or stand up for myself and I'm suppose to be confident. I cry myself to sleep for the past 15 years, don't let this happen to you.
I have also done things to really hurt myself more because in my mind if you can't beat them then join them. I learned that an escape is not the answer to a bad situation. All my husband is doing is teaching my son to be violent agaist women and my girls are learning that it's of for a man to treat you like crap. I don't why I let this happen and I pray for courage to make it stop.
I just wanted a happy life and yet all I do is cry. I hate myself because I'm weak, and I pray for strengh so my kids have a happy and healthy life when they're older. They're awesome kids and don't deserve this life.
I am a bitch and I fight back but all I do is get my ass kicked by him. He's cruel and doesn't care who he hurts. He wastes time and will scream and yell at me for hours in between hurting me. They have no idea how they make you feel when they scream in your face. He said I wasn't pretty when I said I was with a rude remard and I told him all his bad qualities. I got my ass kicked for it but it felt good to let him know how he made me feel.
They are suppose to treat you like a Godess, not a piece of crap! I'm the mother of his children, how can they do this??????
To help yourself try to write down all your good qualities, I did this about 3 years ago and it helped me a lot. I need therapy and I need to get better.