Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.

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cynthiadean 10/05/2009

Hi Im quite new to this support group and this is my first discussion post, I was physically and emotionally abused by my late husband who died 10 years ago now. He started the abuse after only really being together for a few months, but it got worst after the years.
When he died 10 years ago I only felt guilt, but lately Im so angry at him but I cant understand why it as took this long to come out in me, if anyone as been though the same kind of thing or anyone could help me try to understand this please do and I would love to hear of anyone.
Take care and *hugs* from Cynthia xx

Newbee1 10/05/2009

I have been away from my abuser for five years and I still struggle with my feelings about him. When I see his friends here and there my reaction is pure rage and venom. Most of them have no idea why I behave this way. Truth is I get startled by the violence of my reaction to them when just recently I was thinking how I miss him. How's that for nutty. I'm glad I haven't run into him though because I have no idea what I would do.
I think maybe your mind has decided that you are ready to begin processing your feelings around your abuser. Sign you are healing :)
hugs Marina

cynthiadean 10/05/2009

Thanks Marina I really dont think you are nutty, even than my husband was a abuser I really miss him sometimes, may be thats why Im part angry because I miss him but he was a shit so why does he deserve to be missed. I really hope your right about the healing part it sounds good to me, and I hope you start feeling better about yourself regarding missing him.
Take care and *hugs* from Cynthia xx

Newbee1 10/05/2009

I usually feel pretty good, it's mostly that I got a birthday coming up and I feel old as dirt. lol.
I am right about the healing, it's getting back in touch with all the feelings we had to bury is what causes the anger, I think. It's safe to let them out now. I know when I quit drinking I went on a "rage' bender for a few months, I was so mad, it was all the fear and hurt that I couldn't express at the time because it wasn't safe.
I'm more sad than mad most of the time with moments af glee that I'm still here.

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