Wow, glad I logged on today after many weeks and saw your post. I can TOTALLY relate. There is a double standard here. Gender stereotypes reinforce that men are supposed to be strong and able to handle this kind of thing. And, I think it keeps many men from speaking up, thus further reinforcing the double standard that domestic abuse is mostly men preying upon women. I think that is completely false. I've a man and have been in two obviously abusive relationships (one currently). My brother is abused by his wife. And I read on here story after story about people being abused by their mothers. To say that most abuse is by men is completely false. I think it is just that men are less likely (because of pride) to say anything.

In my case, I've been hit, had things thrown at me, screamed at, and emotionally abused to the core. I've never so much as raised my voice. But to stop her from being able to swing her arms at me, I bear hugged her, told her she needs to stop or I will call the police. I let her go, she told me that if I call the police she would tell them I choked her. She made a similar threat on one other occasion.

I say that as a warning. If you can, record or document everything. Get a voice recording ap for your phone, so that when things get heated you can turn it on for evidence, just in case. I think in many cases of domestic abuse, it is guilty until proven innocent for the man. All she has to do is claim you hit her first, and you may be in handcuffs.