Mine first said I had
no sense of humor.

Then he said that
when I do laugh,
I cackle.

(Little did he know
the real extent of
my power!!!!! When
he did, he found out
what "serious"
actually meant.)

Hmmm...

Other than name-calling, he has mocked my laugh, making me self-conscious and feeling as though I'm not allowed to be happy. Sometimes I sing when I'm happy, and he has also told me to "stop that" and mocks me doing that as well.

I would honestly rather he call me names than to purposefully diminish my happy moments.

lleneW.... no sense of humour... jeexz talk about projecting?....at the end of the day you are stronger than him and always will be x

ehope.. .i used to get told to 'stop that' when i got really upset about something... very very sick that is....
i was bullied as a child and he knew how sensitive i was... i was always telling him not to laugh at me....
so what did he do?

he laughed at EVERYTHING. XX

My father is my abuser. He said that I was dumb, stupid, and he even called me a bitch. He tried to get me to go to Boces because he didn't think I could handle real school. When I told him once that I was going to talk to someone about what he was doing he said "who's going to believe you? Your to much like your mother and we all know that she is not stable." He once raised his fist to me and stopped when I said "Go ahead and hit me!" asked if I thought he would actually hit me and I said "yes you have done it many times before."

I have this picture of my mother with this really mocking big laugh on her face giving me this toy plastic car for my 16th birthday. When i was 16, my parents had moved us to a town that was actually full of quite spoilt young people. Everyone had to have some form of transportation to get to school as it was not close to anything, and most everyone's parents bought them brand new cars for their 16th birthdays or earlier. Even those from not as wealthy families seemed to inherit quite nice vehicles of some sort.

When i look at this picture of my Mother's mocking laugh and my disappointed look, it's not that I think they should have bought me an expensive car, but the look on her face does seem to really take BIG pleasure in my obvious disappointment on my 16th birthday. There are many other times I can recall where she mocked me and embarrassed me in front of other people. This look on her face in this picture looks pure sadistic ... I can see now that it was not a funny joke at all but definitely a thrill for her to see the sad look on my face.

Hmmmm.

I'd have to say that it'd be my mom and I getting into a fight one day. She told me that I wasn't allowed to have an opinion and wherever I was getting my opinions from she said she'd pull me from. (we were talking and I was telling her why I didn't agree with it using info from a youth rally and government class). We then get home and mom calls me a b*tch and then goes and locks me outside. I went to my swing set and sat on the swing and cried. She left it locked for almost half an hour. I don't know if this would fit this post or not.

v.w. -----

What you described
is heart breaking
and horrible.

(Yes. It fits.)

Telling me he could feed me to the alligators and no one would ever find me. ha. ha. so funny

Most of the things he says are said jokingly with room for my interpretation. If I feel like he was insulting then he was just joking or says "you take everything personally/as an insult."

He knows I'm preoccupied with my fitness, so he calls me fat allll the time. Or like...my cheeks are almost always pink so he calls me red face.

I remember one time when we were planning our wedding (which isn't happening anymore thank goodness), I wasn't sure about having a big party because I'm kind of reserved and don't like attention, and he got kind of nasty and said, "Yeah well, you'd look fat in a wedding dress anyway." After that day I stopped all the wedding plans.

He's always using little insecurities I have against me like that... Whenever I protest to the things he says, he gets mad and says, "Where's the trust??" or "Oh my goodness, what is YOUR problem?"

Plus, jokes are supposed to be funny, right? His just never are. Like, I'm -really- tired of fat jokes. It's old.

alazlam- that sounds exactly like what I get. I am thin but I don't exercise and have had 3 kids so I am not in shape at all, just on the thin side, he calls me big girl when I eat a lot more than he thinks I should. He also tries to make me exercise which I see the benefit of it but I don't want to do it because he is telling me to. I want to for me and I honestly don't want him reaping the benefits of my exercise either.

Every time I call him on the phone he has a different name for me and if I respond at all I feel like I am accepting that name. He does it "jokingly" but they are such crude things sometimes. Lately he calls me cow tongue. This is actually one of the ones that doesn't bother me that much.

I can ony say sorry to all of you who's men say these things about you joking or weight. I am a man and would never EVEN THINK of saying these things to ANYONE. They are just insecure in themselves if they need to knock other people down to make themselves feel better.

My wife was mad becasue I was downtown playing poker on a Friday night. I work hard and deserve some "me" time. She called me at 11:30 and "demanded" I come home. I said I would be home in a little bit but I wasnt as an adult be told to come home. She threatened to throw me pillows and sheets in the garbage can. And she did! this was so horrible. I feel like it really messed me up mentally. Having to dig my sheets out of the grabage.
Good thread though.

Amexdm

Hmmmm, useless, lazy, stupid and no one but him cared about me. And this is from a man with barely a HS education. It was really hard to get that crap out of my head and it's been almost a year since I have seen him.

hmmm hard to pick which thing was the worst....

Hes made fun of me for almost everything, the way I eat, laugh, things I like, my family, how I was in bed ect....

Told me he could kill me, bury me and noone cared enough to notice I was missing......then later told me he would kill me but I wasnt worth it

The worst was probably when one night I was upset (crying) and called him to ask him to come sit with me because I didnt want to be alone and he told me where his gun was then told me to eat it and then hung up and turned his phone off....

Would he actually kill me? No. He just loves seeing tears, that means victory.

Telling me I had to ask permission to eat. I thought he was joking with that one, but later realised that he was in fact serious. Just majorly screwed up.

Cooking dinner for himself and then telling me it was his, and asking with a smug smirk on his face what I was planning to eat. Then claiming he "would say anything when angry, and was just joking anyway." Well, which is it, angry or joking? Make your mind up...

Otherwise, he didn't do jokes so much. Great post for us all to vent, thank you. I am horrified by the abuse described here, and want to offer everyone a huge hug xxx