Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
well... first off, i think i mentioned this before, but in case i haven't, i work overnights... but yeah, so yesterday evening was actually my sunday morning, and my g/f called... and, we ended up talking for 7 and 1/2 hours. We tackled a lot of stuff. We were able to talk on things... without blaming the other, and without being overcome by guilt... otherwise... we took a step in the right direction, instead of the wrong.... but... i will not be able to post much in the way of my personal problems on here... until she has earned my trust back... because when she told me the first time, i decided that i trusted her to not come back, especially because she said that she wouldn't. One week later, she violated that . Not only my privacy on here, but she broke her word to me as well.
Now, i shall go into why she has some trust issues with me... well, into greater detail at least. I told you guys it took me a few days to break the news to her... and during that few days, we did talk aplenty... and i myself lied to her on a few things, because i wanted to tell her in person... i had the best of intentions, but the fact is that i still lied to her... well, of course, she had trust issues with me since then... the part that is the kicker though, is that she decided that it was a good idea to snoop on me here... rather than communicate to me the problems that she was having so that we could try to fix them.
back to last night(morning for me)... one of the big things that we kept going over, trying to hash it out, was that she didn't understand why i could bring stuff here, and why i did, before communicating or not communicating them with her... eventually i told her that she didn't have to understand why i do, just understand that i do, and that i need her to respect that. I lso told her that for a while, that i will be taking my serious issues to another board, with which i am not going to tell her which one it is(thanks though guys), or my username... nothing... and that as time goes on, and some of the trust in that area comes back, i will eventually be fully here again, asking for advice on here rather than only giving advice... but yeah... those were the 2 big issues that we tackled... we also talked about healthy intimate relationship vs. addictive relationship... and put our relationship under a finetooth comb...
So yeah, i will still be active on this board, but i will be getting my advice either from PM's or from the other board for a while.
Now, i shall go into why she has some trust issues with me... well, into greater detail at least. I told you guys it took me a few days to break the news to her... and during that few days, we did talk aplenty... and i myself lied to her on a few things, because i wanted to tell her in person... i had the best of intentions, but the fact is that i still lied to her... well, of course, she had trust issues with me since then... the part that is the kicker though, is that she decided that it was a good idea to snoop on me here... rather than communicate to me the problems that she was having so that we could try to fix them.
back to last night(morning for me)... one of the big things that we kept going over, trying to hash it out, was that she didn't understand why i could bring stuff here, and why i did, before communicating or not communicating them with her... eventually i told her that she didn't have to understand why i do, just understand that i do, and that i need her to respect that. I lso told her that for a while, that i will be taking my serious issues to another board, with which i am not going to tell her which one it is(thanks though guys), or my username... nothing... and that as time goes on, and some of the trust in that area comes back, i will eventually be fully here again, asking for advice on here rather than only giving advice... but yeah... those were the 2 big issues that we tackled... we also talked about healthy intimate relationship vs. addictive relationship... and put our relationship under a finetooth comb...
So yeah, i will still be active on this board, but i will be getting my advice either from PM's or from the other board for a while.
I think it's probably hard for use chicks to understand why our men might seek emotional solace from someplace else besides us ('cause we're supposed to be all nuture-y and stuff) but ultimately we all need to have healthy boundaries...right? You can't put all your emotional eggs in one basket and I think it's actually very healthy that you are able to reach out, I know so many men who are unable.
Good luck to you, Jimmy and hugs to you.
Please take good care, and be well.
Ilene