Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I have been with this guy for a year now, and he is always angry with me...over things that are ridiculous. I suggested the wrong kind of potatoes, forgot to say thank you, gave him "the wrong" directions because he wanted to take a different route, etc.
Last night, he used my toilet and it got blocked. He went on a rampage and started yelling and swearing, told me that I don't take normal sh*ts and that's why I never block my low-quality Canadian toilet (he is from France).
He told me to go buy a mop like a normal person has (I don't have a traditional mop and bucket, I have a swiffer mop. I live in a 1000 sq ft condo, and find that the swiffer mop does fine). Anyway, the only open store was a pharmacy, and I couldn't find a mop. So I bought a microfibre type dusting thing, and he scoffed at it. He told me that I didn't know what a mop looks like because of my culture and my family, He then tried to educate me by showing me what a mop looks like on the internet. I told him that the pharmacy didn't have a mop, and I told him I had a swiffer mop (he didn't know what that was). I showed it to him, he scoffed at that, and told me to get out of the third world/middle ages and buy a mop...to act like a European.
I was so upset at the whole episode that I had to take a sick day today.
This is abuse, right?
Why do I continue to have him in my life?
Afraid of being lonely, maybe?
Last night, he used my toilet and it got blocked. He went on a rampage and started yelling and swearing, told me that I don't take normal sh*ts and that's why I never block my low-quality Canadian toilet (he is from France).
He told me to go buy a mop like a normal person has (I don't have a traditional mop and bucket, I have a swiffer mop. I live in a 1000 sq ft condo, and find that the swiffer mop does fine). Anyway, the only open store was a pharmacy, and I couldn't find a mop. So I bought a microfibre type dusting thing, and he scoffed at it. He told me that I didn't know what a mop looks like because of my culture and my family, He then tried to educate me by showing me what a mop looks like on the internet. I told him that the pharmacy didn't have a mop, and I told him I had a swiffer mop (he didn't know what that was). I showed it to him, he scoffed at that, and told me to get out of the third world/middle ages and buy a mop...to act like a European.
I was so upset at the whole episode that I had to take a sick day today.
This is abuse, right?
Why do I continue to have him in my life?
Afraid of being lonely, maybe?
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I had gone to the grocery store. When I wheeled my cartback to my car I just stool there a minute. A few spacesaway a Tesla Cyber truck was parked. I had seen it on theroad a few times for a few seconds. But not close up.It looked like it belonged to 2126 and not 2026. I wasgoing to take a picture of the car but the owners cameback and drove away. It was an ordinary middle age...
Cutting you down...heck...cutting your whole culture down...and treating you like a dimwit who doesn't know what a mop is seems like mean behavior to me.
Better to be alone...with a chance of finding a great guy who respects you...sure beats the steady drip of insults that can only wear away your self esteem/respect.
Frenchy sounds like a pompous ass.
RUN!
GL! TC! {{hugz}}
I cannot answer why he is still in your life.
Do you trust yourself that you can find somebody else?
though I'm sorry for the
circumstances that
brought you here.
Yes. What you've
described is verbal
and emotional abuse.
Someone who is
always angry is
presenting a
dysfunctional
behavior pattern.
Why you continue
to have him in your
life may be a compilation
of many reasons.
Whatever those reasons
are, I urge you to consider
finding a therapist whose
specialty is recovery from
abuse. Working with a
qualified therapist has
helped many of us.
You're obviously articulate,
intelligent and successful
What does this abusive
partner bring to your life?
From what you describe,
nothing positive.
Please consider looking
into finding a qualified
counselor.
Be sure to take good
care of yourself.
Sending you hugs
and wishes for
better days.
What does this person bring to you that you could not find with someone who would treat you as you would wish?
There are worse things than living alone.
He said that "even Americans" are smarter than Canadians because Americans at least understand sarcasm, while Canadians don't. But let's not go crazy, he thinks Americans are stupid, too (just smarter than Canadians).
When I watch an American sitcom (like Two Broke Girls), he always scoffs, calls it ridiculous. When I tell him that it's a comedy, that it's supposed to be silly, he says that people are stupid and they belive stuff that happens in these TV shows are real.
But you knew that, right?
I hope you'll take
good care of
yourself.
Anyway, he said that he wasn't trying to insult me, he said that the reason he told me to act like a European in this case was because Europeans use mops, and my culture doesn't. He said I took it as an inult, but it's not his fault that my culture doesn't use "f-ing mops." He said and I quote "I did not say that the Philippines sucks, I said that the FACT that you don't use mops sucks."
And I asked him where in the h*ll did he hear that the Philippines doesn't use mops? I showed him a Philippine online store that sells many things (home decor, electronics, arts & crafts, etc), and I showed him the types of mops that they sell. And I told him that for him to think that an ENTIRE country wouldn't use mops just speaks volumes about how he views countries like that.
His response was just "Fine, I hate the Philippines."
The only thing I can say is do not negotiate with him on what you have heard from him. Trust yourself that this is what you ave heard and believe him that he meant when he said. It will be easier for you.
Stop reacting to his suggestions...if he wants a mop...tell him to go get a mop....Also, tell him if he thinks you and your culture are so awful that you are not holding him hostage and he can leave.
I would tell him now...that I recognize this is an abusive situation and that I deserve to be happy and not be put down and ridiculed...
I'd be more afraid to stay with him....than to leave him.