Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I've had enough of this creep. I bought this house. Yes I was stupid and put him on my deed. Now he hires a lawyer to negotiate on his behalf!!!! Negotiate what??? I put over $120,000 cash down...another $60,000 in the house and he contributed $1500. And he wants to negotiate? Is he kidding me.
So I didn't break in court like he wanted. I asked for a trial instead. He hasn't been able to break me down with his tactics of slashing my tires, etc. So now I know what he will want...he will drop his Restraining order if I drop mine. Well I am NOT NOT NOT doing that. He will also ask for money. NOT doing that either.
His Attorney wrote a letter stating that she is representing him ONLY to negotiate on his behalf. Please do not send her Supreme Court papers. So I am trying to step back and think logically. My guess is he is breaking. He is afraid if we send the Supreme Court papers my attorney stated in the letter that we will be seeking an order for him to pay my fees. As I stated is very costly. Also, I think he also knows his Restraining order is all provable lies.
Am I reading this wrong??? Is he breaking? Trying to see if he can walk away with some money and me dropping the order?
So I didn't break in court like he wanted. I asked for a trial instead. He hasn't been able to break me down with his tactics of slashing my tires, etc. So now I know what he will want...he will drop his Restraining order if I drop mine. Well I am NOT NOT NOT doing that. He will also ask for money. NOT doing that either.
His Attorney wrote a letter stating that she is representing him ONLY to negotiate on his behalf. Please do not send her Supreme Court papers. So I am trying to step back and think logically. My guess is he is breaking. He is afraid if we send the Supreme Court papers my attorney stated in the letter that we will be seeking an order for him to pay my fees. As I stated is very costly. Also, I think he also knows his Restraining order is all provable lies.
Am I reading this wrong??? Is he breaking? Trying to see if he can walk away with some money and me dropping the order?
My idea is for you to get in touch with people who have been through court with a disordered person.
Maybe you can find them here.
http://www.dailystrength.org/groups/victims-of-psychopaths-sociopaths
(DS member group for victim of psychopaths and sociopaths)
https://www.psychopathfree.com
(You can get information here also and post a thread about this creep)
Get all the paperwork you have to show how much YOU have put into this place. It will show how he hasn't.
Don't drop the restraining order. But in most cases, restraining orders do not do nothing at UNTIL a crime has actually been committed.
I would buy a pistol to protect yourself and take a course in safety of it. He is a nut. And sounds very dangerous.
In one of your first posts you said,
"So we bought a home that I paid a lot of cash for and we split the remaining mortgage and owned 50-50. I did a contract for my money so I was protected. "
Is that something that would protect you now?
Also I suggest you find all of your posts here and print them out and show them to your attorney. This one lists a lot of the history that might make a difference. http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Physical_Emotional_Abuse/forum/20613909-am-i-abused-newlong
What does your attorney say about all of this? What are the laws in your state regarding non-married ownership, especially since you can prove abuse (which means he could have coerced you into putting his name on the deed). You might ask your attorney to look up national precedents when it comes to abusers forcing/coercing someone to do something financially that they wouldn't have done under normal circumstances.
IMHO, I think you are doing the right thing by not caving in to him & his toxic lunacy.
~healing hugs~
I am waiting it out to see what he is asking for. IMHO he's going to try and get money out of me. It's been his game all along. After we moved in he wanted me to pay his credit card debt of $20,000. And then had the nerve to ask me to take a home equity to pay all his debt of $75k. Then he would carry all the bills here. I must have really appeared dumb to him. I guess giving a house 50% was really dumb so he wanted to push it further. He was furious that I would not do that. Never in a million years did I see this coming with him. But then again he sold me a fake person. It happened after I buried my dad and my best friend the month before my dad. I was seriously not thinking clearly. He took advantage.
I'm not budging. I'm taking it to court before I give him a penny.
Do you still have your life insurance policy? Drop it or get it changed to another person. Maybe your son.
Cokeheads or any other drug user are highly dangerous. A life means nothing to them.
Sounds like he had this planned all along. Some people do this all the time. Latch onto a person who they know who has money.
I wish you much luck.
Someone just told me he broke up his last relationship because her rich ex husband didn't have to pay child support anymore. He's a scum
He feeds off you like parasite indeed. But he will trap himself when time for originality comes. He cannot win by mirroring you all the time.
If you stand in
your truth and
in your strength
he cannot win.
My take would be also that he is probably not paying his attorney - or not willing to pay enough - hence the restriction on what she will do on his behalf. I'd still send the papers "as a courtesy" to her - she will then charge him for that, increasing his costs and wearing him down (assuming he doesn't have much money). He may end up forced to drop his lawyer entirely.
He sounds a LOT like my ex. He also threatened to sue me for half my house (which I owned before I met him, and for which I paid the mortgage and the bills). He used our son as his collateral - threatening to sue also for custody. When his lawyer refused to act on the money side because he couldn't pay her, he gave up on custody as well. He still managed to cost me a fortune, but at least my son and I still have a roof over our heads.
Stay strong, know you have truth on your side, and know that all of this is games from him - yes, in an attempt to extract money from you.
1) I'm ok and will continue to be strong
2) I'm not giving him a penny
3) I am not dropping my Restraining order as a bargaining chip for a dangerous person still out there
4) I'm clear now on who he really is and what his intent was from the beginning.
5) I will never put my home in someone else's name ever again
6) I will take this to Supreme Court and force him off my deed
7) Going to sell this house and do what I originally wanted to do. Which is a beautiful condo in a gated community where I let everyone else worry about grass and maintenance.
8) always listen to my inner voice/gut. It's always right
9) Realize how blessed I am with the support of my friends and family. There hasn't been a day that has gone by where all of them haven't called to see how I am and what they can do to help. Without them I'd be a mess right now.
10) forgive myself for the choice I made. I'm never to old to learn a life lesson.
I'm sure more will be added to this list as I heal. But I am off to a good start. And you ladies are right. The truth will come out. I did something that I thought was the right thing for us and a future. I did it straight from my heart. Thankfully I was smart enough to protect myself with a contract and kept my paper trail of it all.
I knew I was in a bad situation long before he hit me. We were pulling out of the driveway and he asks for us to take a home equity line out for $75,000 to completely pay off his debt. Then he would carry all the house expenses and I would have to pay a thing. Knew it right then he was in it for the money.
Liven..you are right. He doesn't have the money to go full steam ahead. And if he did two things would stop him. One he will never win. I have a contract. Two he is the cheapest man on two feet. He is living with his daughter and her husband and two kids. Doesn't want to pay his own way.
As a PS...he tried pulling his control thing with his son in law he's now living with two years ago and the son in law beat him up. He was drunk and obnoxious to him. And he got tired of it. Wonder how that little family is doing? They all trotted thru my house taking whatever they wanted. So I hope they enjoy my coffee pot and toaster oven and all the other things. Because I'm the end they are things and I have peace.
Great attitude, good for you! Pretty much how I feel about my ex too (who after I threw him out, moved in with his mum, and as far as I know has still never bothered to get a job). He got a lot from me, but I kept what was most important - both financially and emotionally. And yes, I have forgiven myself. While also knowing I won't make such poor decisions again, because of all that I have learned.
Keep on keeping on, you are awesome!