Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Dear Friends,
I posted here a couple of weeks ago about a problem I was having with a board member. I've been running a small nonprofit agency--a one person shop, with volunteers. The board member was proving himself to be abusive. I got some fabulous advice from this community. Then I found an article that described how this board member had beaten up his aunt, who is a nun. That seemed like great evidence that he was abusive and a loose cannon and not a good fit for our organization. Someone on this list even said it was "gold."
Well, unfortunately the advice, the golden evidence has not proven to be enough to turn the situation around. The chairman of my board is a misguided, kind man, who believes that we need to forgive those who transgress. I explained to him that I totally believe in forgiveness, and do it all the time, but with the abusive board member, there is nothing to forgive. He's just following through on his nature, which will likely never change. You can't blame a hurricane for being a hurricane. You wouldn't forgive a snake that bit you. But you would do the best you could to protect yourself from it.
The chairman is completely taken in by the board member's manipulations. It is very difficult to watch, because he is suffering a great deal. But they have decided to let me go, which is extremely unfortunate, because their current plan of action is not likely to be viable.
At first I felt chewed up and spit out. Then I started feeling free, happy to be out of that hot, sticky mouth with those great gnashing teeth.
I've already sent emails to 2 organizations in my city that serve the needs of abused women. I'm going to volunteer with them and other nonprofits while I transition to another position. I'm really looking forward to it! I've been working from home, in isolation, for the past year+ and have really learned my lesson that such a high degree of isolation makes me a much less effective person.
I'm looking forward to getting my exercise program back on track--have been rolling out of bed and going to work and working all day.
Oh, and the best news is that yesterday, as I was processing the news that they were letting me go, my abusive husband, from whom I've been separated for over 5 years and who has threatened to obstruct me if I tried to divorce, called to say that he's changed his mind and he won't obstruct me.
So I'm free on two fronts!
Pretty amazing the way they happened at the exact same time...
Thanks so much to those of you who have written and given such excellent support! Although things didn't work out as I had hoped, I think they may work out even better this way.
Catydid
I posted here a couple of weeks ago about a problem I was having with a board member. I've been running a small nonprofit agency--a one person shop, with volunteers. The board member was proving himself to be abusive. I got some fabulous advice from this community. Then I found an article that described how this board member had beaten up his aunt, who is a nun. That seemed like great evidence that he was abusive and a loose cannon and not a good fit for our organization. Someone on this list even said it was "gold."
Well, unfortunately the advice, the golden evidence has not proven to be enough to turn the situation around. The chairman of my board is a misguided, kind man, who believes that we need to forgive those who transgress. I explained to him that I totally believe in forgiveness, and do it all the time, but with the abusive board member, there is nothing to forgive. He's just following through on his nature, which will likely never change. You can't blame a hurricane for being a hurricane. You wouldn't forgive a snake that bit you. But you would do the best you could to protect yourself from it.
The chairman is completely taken in by the board member's manipulations. It is very difficult to watch, because he is suffering a great deal. But they have decided to let me go, which is extremely unfortunate, because their current plan of action is not likely to be viable.
At first I felt chewed up and spit out. Then I started feeling free, happy to be out of that hot, sticky mouth with those great gnashing teeth.
I've already sent emails to 2 organizations in my city that serve the needs of abused women. I'm going to volunteer with them and other nonprofits while I transition to another position. I'm really looking forward to it! I've been working from home, in isolation, for the past year+ and have really learned my lesson that such a high degree of isolation makes me a much less effective person.
I'm looking forward to getting my exercise program back on track--have been rolling out of bed and going to work and working all day.
Oh, and the best news is that yesterday, as I was processing the news that they were letting me go, my abusive husband, from whom I've been separated for over 5 years and who has threatened to obstruct me if I tried to divorce, called to say that he's changed his mind and he won't obstruct me.
So I'm free on two fronts!
Pretty amazing the way they happened at the exact same time...
Thanks so much to those of you who have written and given such excellent support! Although things didn't work out as I had hoped, I think they may work out even better this way.
Catydid
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My 6mo twin DD's are EBF and just started rice cereal on the first. Everything has been going fine except this morning one of them had a diaper rash (lots of redness around her anus). I read this as one of the signs of an allergy. BUT I did just buy a different brand diaper yesterday (which they have used randomly before w/no issues). Do you think its the cereal or the diaper? Im ready to start...
It's so good that you are out of there, though! You do not need to be dragged down by this and it sounds like you are off to bigger and better things! Great news that your husband is ready to free you as well. I'm so glad things are looking up!
"Isn't it amazing, how when you do that (surrender, stop resisting) it opens the door for all the positive energy to just flow in...."
Perfect example....Accept what is, and move forward...I'm happy for you.
Hugs...
Best yes, count your lucky stars that you are out. I was fired from an abusive work situation back in November and was at first VERY angry and upset. Now I realize it was all for the best. It is so good to be FREE.
First, let me say that eventually the nun beater will reveal his true self and hang himself. The non-profit will suffer for their actions. C'est la vie.
You will find a healthier work environment. It is so important for those of us who have survived abuse to have as healthy a work environment as possible.
Thank you for your inspirational story and for letting us know how that other shoe fell. You rock! Hugs to you...
I'm so happy to have my feeling that I really must insist on a healthy work environment confirmed. For a while there I was thinking about trying to stick it out, to see if I could outlast him. But I made a solemn promise to myself when I left my husband--"Never again." And I just couldn't go back on my promise. I'm glad I didn't.
Thanks again!
~catydid~
I too work from home on internet but I find it best to also use web cam. people seem to relate better & are more apt to know not just name but face & name.
Congradulations for holding true to your promise and for moveing foward.