Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
(Taken from lifting hearts network)
Take this quiz to see if the man you are with is a narcissist:
1. Does he act out in verbally aggressive behaviors, or does he have 'rages', especially if he feels he has been insulted in some way? Does he blame 'you' or accuse you of being the one that is 'acting out' or 'out-of-control'?
2. In the beginning was he just 'too good to be true'?
3. Does he rely on you financially, or does he ask you to help him fund things?
4. Does he often spend outside of his budget?
5. Is everything always about him and is nothing ever about you? Does he seem insensitive to your needs, unappreciative of your input, or non-acknowledging of your accomplishments? Does he not recognize your giving, kindness, and thoughtfulness? Does he seem genuinely not interested in your life?
6. Is he controlling? Do you often feel manipulated?
7. Does he show one side (Dr. Jekyll) to the public (a perfected persona which you know is fake), and another side (Mr. Hyde) to you in private? Does he go out of his way to impress people?
8. Does his ego bruise easily, or is he hyper-vigilant to the slightest insult? Do you have to be careful how you word things or voice grievances?
9. Does he expect special treatment or feel he is 'entitled' to it?
10. Does he talk about himself more than you feel is normal?
11. Does he avoid eye contact with you, or does he withhold sex or affection? Has he been unfaithful?
12. Does he seem to lack empathy or compassion for others, or does he 'fake' it to enhance his 'public persona'?
13. Do you feel emotionally battered and confused?
14. Have you noticed your confidence or self-esteem slipping?
15. Is he histrionic? In other words, in public does he hog the limelight, putting on exaggerated shows and telling fascinating stories of himself in order to be the center of attraction? Is he loud or does he act like he is on stage when engaging in simple conversations with other people?
Yes to those questions.. Means you are in Love With a Man That Has a 'Counterfeit Heart'?
Living with, Loving and LEAVING the Narcissist
it is still a very painful realization when you come to discover that you meant absolutely nothing to someone you loved very much.
The realization that this man never loved you (don't delude yourself) hurts beyond compare.
It is hard to understand that a histrionic narcissist loves only himself, and, if anything, considered you more a 'love-rival' than a 'lover'.
Narcissists tend to make very good first impressions on others. They are excellent actors and can fool almost anybody, even trained individuals.
However, they have counterfeit hearts. Underneath their brilliant exterior lies a man that is self-centered and self-focused, dishonest, irresponsible, disloyal, and lacking emotions, remorse, and a conscience.
These men live with a false sense of grandiosity and specialness and are easily found to be arrogant and deceitful. Underneath their fake exterior is an empty fraud who is lacking a human soul.
"The narcissist can neither give nor receive love. He cannot empathize with the pain and suffering of others. Although he is often incredibly charming and draws many people into his 'enchanted circle', the narcissist is incapable of true intimacy.
At the core of his life experience, the narcissist has emotionally and often financially harmed so many. He has treated others with cruelty, ruthlessness and indifference too many times. Ultimately, in the depth of his unconscious, he knows he is an empty fraud
Breaking up with a histrionic narcissist? Be prepared for the battle of your life! While you are an emotional basket case, the man with a narcissistic personality disorder is as Cold as Ice!
While you are left holding down the fort and dealing with the real-life responsibilities, he walks away from everything leaving you to mop off his stage and pay his bills.
He will often try punish you in ways you couldn't possibly have ever imagined...
....and not even acknowledge it to himself! Why? Because he's off charming the socks off of new women as if your years together didn't even exist!
And to him they didn't!
The narcissist has a 'counterfeit heart'!
Nothing can be more painful than breaking up with a histrionic narcissistic man. He will not take it kindly - not because he will grieve the loss of you (you mean nothing to this man) but simply because you will have embarrassed him. And damaging his ego is a totally unforgivable sin to the narcissist! I'm afraid you're likely to become further his victim, so be aware of his soon-to-come character assassin of you, your family, your friends, and even your children. (Narcissistic men will say just about anything about another in order to protect their perfect 'image'.)
Whether or not this has happened to you, it is still a very painful realization when you come to discover that you meant absolutely nothing to someone you loved very much.
Usually, when a relationship ends both parties grieve some, both parties have regrets and both parties have done things that they feel remorseful for.
But not a narcissist! He walks away from you with a cold, callous disregard. He feels nothing.
A narcissist will avoid looking at you - even if you are sitting right in front of him. This is his way of 'dismissing' and 'devaluing' you. All narcissists do this and, of course, there is nothing about these actions that are normal, but your mind can't conceive this and so it tries to understand. However, there is no making sense of the 'senseless'.
A narcissist can turn from loving you to discarding you almost abruptly as it took for him to 'idolize' you. Deep inside you know that you have just wasted years of your life on someone who is an empty fraud. It's like you imagined everything; nothing was real.
Expect your world to fall apart whereas his world will remain unscathed - as will his emotions. OOPS, pardon me, I made a mistake! Make that "his 'lack of' emotions.
Narcissistic men haven't any empathy for others, and will never take any direct responsibility for any pain they may have caused.
They will never acknowledge their wrongdoings, or apologize to you, because they truly believe themselves to be perfect. They project all their faults and flaws onto you, accusing you of the very things that they, themselves, are guilty of.
Narcissistic and histrionic men play on the fact that most of us are trusting and forgiving, and that we want to believe in them.
Perfecting his persona for the sole purpose of gaining admiration is the only thing he holds important, and the only reward he needs.
He is an expert at even fooling himself into thinking he is larger than life and, unfortunately, the more positive the feedback he receives, the more trapped in his mirror he becomes.
He would rather have adoration from complete strangers than a deep meaningful relationship with a loving partner.
He wants you to pay for his inner pain, and he will do everything in his power to punish you and push you over the brink. Your mind can't rationalize that these men are not 'normal', and so it tries to make sense of their behavior.
The Toxic Narcissist cuts your heart to pieces. His blatant bad thoughts and opinions of you make you feel so ashamed, ugly, and unattractive!
Nothing hurts worse than to have the one you love focus on and exaggerate all your negative points (or even invent some that you don't have) and dismiss and downplay your positive points. Most people can't understand the pain associated with this, as they have never had a partner look for the bad in them so exhaustingly as the Toxic Narcissist will.
Abuse is an integral, inseparable part of the Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Yet, the narcissistic ex continually acts in abusive, bewildering and confusing ways. He is not above committing destructive acts.
When the breakup becomes a reality, it is likely that his 'false persona' will completely disappear all together and you will most likely experience the most hurtful of behavior from him.
He is completely lacking in empathy, and - since he is not receiving any admiration from you anymore - he will dismiss you and discard you as worthless to him, consequently dropping any fake front that he use to put up in order to keep you in the relationship.
Narcissists become particularly shameless during a divorce. They can accuse the other spouse of neglecting the children when the reverse is true. They hide their assets long before the formal divorce proceedings begin. They lie about their net worth so they don't have to part with alimony or child support.
Some narcissists abandon their families all together and start new lives with more attractive, adoring and compliant partners. Leaving the previous spouse and children in a state of financial and psychological chaos is of no consequence to them. Many narcissists repeat these egregious patterns of behavior throughout their lives without any shame or regret.
Living with, loving and leaving a narcissistic man is an experience unlike any other! You are left deeply confused and weakened by the abuse.
You were taken in by his phony charm simply because you trusted men. And now you are left with doubts, insecurities, questions, and extreme hurt that one you cared for could so easily 'dismiss you' and then walk away completely unmoved and untouched by the experience.
You want him to hurt, too. To show sorrow. To feel remorse.
So that you can feel important again. Like you mattered. But you didn't. And it has nothing to do with you. He simply is unable to care for anyone other than himself.
The narcissist provides no closure because he has lost interest in the counterparty and also because the narcissist doesn't fully grasp what has transpired.
The narcissist cannot provide the injured ex-partner with explanations, reasoning, justification, or enlightenment. He has none. The narcissist simply IS, without rhyme or reason. '
Take this quiz to see if the man you are with is a narcissist:
1. Does he act out in verbally aggressive behaviors, or does he have 'rages', especially if he feels he has been insulted in some way? Does he blame 'you' or accuse you of being the one that is 'acting out' or 'out-of-control'?
2. In the beginning was he just 'too good to be true'?
3. Does he rely on you financially, or does he ask you to help him fund things?
4. Does he often spend outside of his budget?
5. Is everything always about him and is nothing ever about you? Does he seem insensitive to your needs, unappreciative of your input, or non-acknowledging of your accomplishments? Does he not recognize your giving, kindness, and thoughtfulness? Does he seem genuinely not interested in your life?
6. Is he controlling? Do you often feel manipulated?
7. Does he show one side (Dr. Jekyll) to the public (a perfected persona which you know is fake), and another side (Mr. Hyde) to you in private? Does he go out of his way to impress people?
8. Does his ego bruise easily, or is he hyper-vigilant to the slightest insult? Do you have to be careful how you word things or voice grievances?
9. Does he expect special treatment or feel he is 'entitled' to it?
10. Does he talk about himself more than you feel is normal?
11. Does he avoid eye contact with you, or does he withhold sex or affection? Has he been unfaithful?
12. Does he seem to lack empathy or compassion for others, or does he 'fake' it to enhance his 'public persona'?
13. Do you feel emotionally battered and confused?
14. Have you noticed your confidence or self-esteem slipping?
15. Is he histrionic? In other words, in public does he hog the limelight, putting on exaggerated shows and telling fascinating stories of himself in order to be the center of attraction? Is he loud or does he act like he is on stage when engaging in simple conversations with other people?
Yes to those questions.. Means you are in Love With a Man That Has a 'Counterfeit Heart'?
Living with, Loving and LEAVING the Narcissist
it is still a very painful realization when you come to discover that you meant absolutely nothing to someone you loved very much.
The realization that this man never loved you (don't delude yourself) hurts beyond compare.
It is hard to understand that a histrionic narcissist loves only himself, and, if anything, considered you more a 'love-rival' than a 'lover'.
Narcissists tend to make very good first impressions on others. They are excellent actors and can fool almost anybody, even trained individuals.
However, they have counterfeit hearts. Underneath their brilliant exterior lies a man that is self-centered and self-focused, dishonest, irresponsible, disloyal, and lacking emotions, remorse, and a conscience.
These men live with a false sense of grandiosity and specialness and are easily found to be arrogant and deceitful. Underneath their fake exterior is an empty fraud who is lacking a human soul.
"The narcissist can neither give nor receive love. He cannot empathize with the pain and suffering of others. Although he is often incredibly charming and draws many people into his 'enchanted circle', the narcissist is incapable of true intimacy.
At the core of his life experience, the narcissist has emotionally and often financially harmed so many. He has treated others with cruelty, ruthlessness and indifference too many times. Ultimately, in the depth of his unconscious, he knows he is an empty fraud
Breaking up with a histrionic narcissist? Be prepared for the battle of your life! While you are an emotional basket case, the man with a narcissistic personality disorder is as Cold as Ice!
While you are left holding down the fort and dealing with the real-life responsibilities, he walks away from everything leaving you to mop off his stage and pay his bills.
He will often try punish you in ways you couldn't possibly have ever imagined...
....and not even acknowledge it to himself! Why? Because he's off charming the socks off of new women as if your years together didn't even exist!
And to him they didn't!
The narcissist has a 'counterfeit heart'!
Nothing can be more painful than breaking up with a histrionic narcissistic man. He will not take it kindly - not because he will grieve the loss of you (you mean nothing to this man) but simply because you will have embarrassed him. And damaging his ego is a totally unforgivable sin to the narcissist! I'm afraid you're likely to become further his victim, so be aware of his soon-to-come character assassin of you, your family, your friends, and even your children. (Narcissistic men will say just about anything about another in order to protect their perfect 'image'.)
Whether or not this has happened to you, it is still a very painful realization when you come to discover that you meant absolutely nothing to someone you loved very much.
Usually, when a relationship ends both parties grieve some, both parties have regrets and both parties have done things that they feel remorseful for.
But not a narcissist! He walks away from you with a cold, callous disregard. He feels nothing.
A narcissist will avoid looking at you - even if you are sitting right in front of him. This is his way of 'dismissing' and 'devaluing' you. All narcissists do this and, of course, there is nothing about these actions that are normal, but your mind can't conceive this and so it tries to understand. However, there is no making sense of the 'senseless'.
A narcissist can turn from loving you to discarding you almost abruptly as it took for him to 'idolize' you. Deep inside you know that you have just wasted years of your life on someone who is an empty fraud. It's like you imagined everything; nothing was real.
Expect your world to fall apart whereas his world will remain unscathed - as will his emotions. OOPS, pardon me, I made a mistake! Make that "his 'lack of' emotions.
Narcissistic men haven't any empathy for others, and will never take any direct responsibility for any pain they may have caused.
They will never acknowledge their wrongdoings, or apologize to you, because they truly believe themselves to be perfect. They project all their faults and flaws onto you, accusing you of the very things that they, themselves, are guilty of.
Narcissistic and histrionic men play on the fact that most of us are trusting and forgiving, and that we want to believe in them.
Perfecting his persona for the sole purpose of gaining admiration is the only thing he holds important, and the only reward he needs.
He is an expert at even fooling himself into thinking he is larger than life and, unfortunately, the more positive the feedback he receives, the more trapped in his mirror he becomes.
He would rather have adoration from complete strangers than a deep meaningful relationship with a loving partner.
He wants you to pay for his inner pain, and he will do everything in his power to punish you and push you over the brink. Your mind can't rationalize that these men are not 'normal', and so it tries to make sense of their behavior.
The Toxic Narcissist cuts your heart to pieces. His blatant bad thoughts and opinions of you make you feel so ashamed, ugly, and unattractive!
Nothing hurts worse than to have the one you love focus on and exaggerate all your negative points (or even invent some that you don't have) and dismiss and downplay your positive points. Most people can't understand the pain associated with this, as they have never had a partner look for the bad in them so exhaustingly as the Toxic Narcissist will.
Abuse is an integral, inseparable part of the Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Yet, the narcissistic ex continually acts in abusive, bewildering and confusing ways. He is not above committing destructive acts.
When the breakup becomes a reality, it is likely that his 'false persona' will completely disappear all together and you will most likely experience the most hurtful of behavior from him.
He is completely lacking in empathy, and - since he is not receiving any admiration from you anymore - he will dismiss you and discard you as worthless to him, consequently dropping any fake front that he use to put up in order to keep you in the relationship.
Narcissists become particularly shameless during a divorce. They can accuse the other spouse of neglecting the children when the reverse is true. They hide their assets long before the formal divorce proceedings begin. They lie about their net worth so they don't have to part with alimony or child support.
Some narcissists abandon their families all together and start new lives with more attractive, adoring and compliant partners. Leaving the previous spouse and children in a state of financial and psychological chaos is of no consequence to them. Many narcissists repeat these egregious patterns of behavior throughout their lives without any shame or regret.
Living with, loving and leaving a narcissistic man is an experience unlike any other! You are left deeply confused and weakened by the abuse.
You were taken in by his phony charm simply because you trusted men. And now you are left with doubts, insecurities, questions, and extreme hurt that one you cared for could so easily 'dismiss you' and then walk away completely unmoved and untouched by the experience.
You want him to hurt, too. To show sorrow. To feel remorse.
So that you can feel important again. Like you mattered. But you didn't. And it has nothing to do with you. He simply is unable to care for anyone other than himself.
The narcissist provides no closure because he has lost interest in the counterparty and also because the narcissist doesn't fully grasp what has transpired.
The narcissist cannot provide the injured ex-partner with explanations, reasoning, justification, or enlightenment. He has none. The narcissist simply IS, without rhyme or reason. '
rainyangel
those guys are so incredibly hurtful. I don't know how one can get over such emotional pain and find themselves again and feel like they're worth something.
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