Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.

5,836 Members
27,933 Posts
0 Online
Personal Challenges
/ Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

The cycle

possumlady
possumlady
Does anyone start to feel anxious if things have been going well for a couple of weeks. Then partner starts to look and sound a bit down or removed or something and a kind of sixth sense kicks in... We are heading for the inevitable ..I start to feel sick, can't concentrate on anything because of the sense of foreboding. Sometimes I go and start a conversation with him even tho I know it won't go well because I can't stand the anxious waiting. It's like I want to get it over and done with even tho I dread it. Does anyone have an thoughts about how to deal with this?
hope2168
hope2168
hi, yes i get anxious when this happens. the jeckll/hyde thing. not sur what to think of it all. makes me very nervous and then i get false hope. then the inevitable temper tantrum hits. it hurts. then i just get really fed up and angry.
artemis000
artemis000
I remember those feelings well. There would be a certain look in his eye about a week before the nonsense would start, and I'd feel sick and anxious until it did.

I'm afraid the only way to deal with it is by leaving the abuser, because he isn't going to change. Things don't get better, they get worse, and it will eventually make you ill.

Take care
Livndadrem
Livndadrem
I think most of us have been through this in one way or another.

Artemis is right. The only way to "deal" with it is to walk away from it. You can't change it, you can't change him - you can only change yourself and your situation.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Can certainly relate to this. And unfortunately, still have to deal with it to an extent even though we are separated because of the kids. Every time I have to see him, if he has that "down, depressed, woe-is-me-life-is-so-unfair" look in his eye, I feel so afraid inside. And then I have to send my kids off with him for the weekend. It is horrible. I try to relax and enjoy my time to myself, but I am worried sick about them the whole time.

There really is no dealing with it, as the other posters said. It won't change. And if you have kids together, God help you, it still doesn't end when you leave.
terriann
terriann
yes ,leave.