Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
It really is so confusing to me and from what I seen here and about everything I have read too.Life is a state of constant confusion when your spouse or another abuser in your life is in control!Also my experience my abuser,my H is a totally control freak!!!Which makes me question my own thinking it is a vicious cycle of abuse, the belittling, the yelling, intimidating the looks,and complete control of my world! OH I hate it so much and you know when I write it out here it actually clarifies things for me,I can actually see my own reality when I type it out here for you guys to read.Otherwise I question my thoughts, my desires, my wants and my wishes,and what reality is.I can be so sure of what is really going on,then a few days of his so called being nice, and I'm guessing myself is it really that bad, does he mean what he say's when he tells me HE LOVES ME and our family.I don't even want to be around him I'm so done but I guess my own motives it is sort of a guilt I guess, because he is my children's Dad, and I think they will be better off if I continue to put up with him.He has been such a hard working man, who has provide a really nice life for us.With the divorce I will so lose and he will do his best to paint me as an awful Mom, we have been here before, he is so good at whatever he does, and destroying me publicly is a thing he does . I get so confused at what is better to live the life I always have, and put up with his verbal attacks, or leave and fear for my life, and what he will come up with to get me, and he will absolutely, know doubt about it!That's who he is,get on his so called bad side and watch out he will take you down one way or another.Just needed to vent today about my confusing state of mind thanks for listening to me friends.
I want to say, the confusion is terrible, but the empowerment when you're out is awesome. The fog lifts, you want to do things for yourself and family again! I actually took apart my washing machine and repaired it myself! I never would have done that before, because I'd have been plagued with doubt.
Hang in there, all of you! This forum is a lifesaver!
I needed to hear that, because I AM getting really confused and doubtful at times..
I wasn't around here in December, but man, that sucks that he found you!
You can show me 10 seconds of a movie, even the opening song and I'll tell you the movie. I used to get annoyed because when H would flip thur the channels he's ask me what it was and I'd be like "How the hell should I---- oh it's Poision Ivy 2." Every freakin time.
It's so frustrating though that I forget the majority of crap he tells me. I told him once that I forget the things I don't think are important (work bs usually) and he gets mad that I'm not interested in his life enough. Yet he won't even fake interest if I start talking about a subject he's not interested in. He'll actually turn his head away and ignores me.
I really hope when I leave him the confusion lifts and my memory improves.
Hewontfindme, I love that you took your washer apart. I think about ripping up the carpet in my house constantly. If H didn't have a heart attack first he'd probably kill me for doing so. Still I've been tempted to just do the landing by the doorway but I'm so afraid that I'd mess up a project a blind one-handed man could do I don't. It kills me I can't even make an improvment to "my" home.
I have to go back in and I'm dreading it. Your posts have reminded me that I have to really get going on the divorce for the kids (and me).
Thanks for sharing, the advice, the honesty. I know how painful this is for all of us. I suspect we have all tried so hard and then some... only to get hurt some more.
I am married to an attorney who is aggressive and enjoys it - the threats are really scary.