Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
hi everyone,
i have not been here for some time, but for a while i was here a LOT. i lifted up the mask of my abuser and saw him for the cruel, lying sociopath he was, and my hurt and self hatred shot like lava out of the top of my head and i raged, loudly and violently, for a ridiculously long time. the anger propelled me up and out of my marriage and kept me pressing forward during some very dicey times. it also came in handy when i wanted to justify some of my own bad behavior because, you know, he deserved it.
being that mad for that long engulfed me, and friends and family openly worried i would have a heart attack in my living room, leaving my son to be raised by an apathetic psychopath. burned by therapy, unable to escape into the familiar love of reading because stress had constricted my blood vessels so tightly i got migraines and had blurred vision, i came here. i made the print as large as i could and i screamed into my computer where the universe shone sunshine on me and led me to you people.
thank you, thank you. thank you for your compassion, your bravery, and the inspiration that comes from being in the company of survivors and ass-kickers. in a world where abuse can be tricky to identify and humiliating to endure it is empowering and liberating to hear others verbalize your feelings and validate your pain. for so many of us used to being systematically whittled down it is strange and wonderful to have someone build you up which such sensitivity and some of the most powerful writing about abuse i have ever read. i am humbled and grateful to be among you.
i drifted away for a bit because with your help i was able to get past some of the rage that was draining me and attended to my life again, trying to get unfrozen as i need to financially support myself and my son somehow. but coping with the sudden surge of anger is one thing, dealing with the long term day to day is another. i still doubt my instincts, i still trust no one, i still need to maintain minimal contact with my ex because if i look at him i feel my body clench, but now i don't have my old pal anger with me as often. i realize i still need to be in around people that remind me i can do this, and i don't have to sacrifice my life to anger to do it.
thank you for being here, and now i will be here with and for you.
i have not been here for some time, but for a while i was here a LOT. i lifted up the mask of my abuser and saw him for the cruel, lying sociopath he was, and my hurt and self hatred shot like lava out of the top of my head and i raged, loudly and violently, for a ridiculously long time. the anger propelled me up and out of my marriage and kept me pressing forward during some very dicey times. it also came in handy when i wanted to justify some of my own bad behavior because, you know, he deserved it.
being that mad for that long engulfed me, and friends and family openly worried i would have a heart attack in my living room, leaving my son to be raised by an apathetic psychopath. burned by therapy, unable to escape into the familiar love of reading because stress had constricted my blood vessels so tightly i got migraines and had blurred vision, i came here. i made the print as large as i could and i screamed into my computer where the universe shone sunshine on me and led me to you people.
thank you, thank you. thank you for your compassion, your bravery, and the inspiration that comes from being in the company of survivors and ass-kickers. in a world where abuse can be tricky to identify and humiliating to endure it is empowering and liberating to hear others verbalize your feelings and validate your pain. for so many of us used to being systematically whittled down it is strange and wonderful to have someone build you up which such sensitivity and some of the most powerful writing about abuse i have ever read. i am humbled and grateful to be among you.
i drifted away for a bit because with your help i was able to get past some of the rage that was draining me and attended to my life again, trying to get unfrozen as i need to financially support myself and my son somehow. but coping with the sudden surge of anger is one thing, dealing with the long term day to day is another. i still doubt my instincts, i still trust no one, i still need to maintain minimal contact with my ex because if i look at him i feel my body clench, but now i don't have my old pal anger with me as often. i realize i still need to be in around people that remind me i can do this, and i don't have to sacrifice my life to anger to do it.
thank you for being here, and now i will be here with and for you.
When hit by an abuser, we all bleed the same, when our spirits are wounded we all bleed internally, when healing we all need to grieve and rage, and need to know we are not alone, and we not damaged goods, feel hope, and see what the human spirit is capable of, witness transformation. I get that here.
And I have been around the block and all of you are somehow, individually and collectively showing every day in your selflessness, your generosity and openness in sharing this pain of abuse how special you are in a world full of pits of despair that are so easy to fall into - words fail to express how amazing all of you are! Sometimes when I think of it, I am in awe.
Thanks for pointing this out so eloquently, vernacular. I am so glad you are here among the survivors!
We're stronger together!!
I've been away from my abuser for 4 years, thew him out in 2010. Kicking him out was the scariest, hardest and empowering thing I have ever done. I showed my kids, myself, and the world that I am a survivor. I will kick ass. And no one, no one will ever treat me that way again.
We all have something to offer to eachother. I'm glad I'm here with such survivors!
Warm hugs
I wrote on someone's post recently that sometimes other people don't get that anger can be felt by abused people as well as other, so-called "softer" feelings like sadness, fear, etc. But what can drive a person around the bend more than being manipulated, tortured, and kept down? Not much. I`m glad you managed to get unfrozen. That is something I have needed to do after every abuser I have ever had. If I am around the non-abusive, anger is not something that comes to me naturally. But if I am feeling or behaving in an angry or snappy way, it`s a sign that something is off in my environment at that time. I`m being toyed with, or my boundaries are being breached by someone.
Hope you continue to feel better and be able to kick any ass that needs it, LOL! Hugs xxx
You're the face of
healthy "processing."
When you feel your
anger justifiably and
use it to propel your
escape to freedom,
that's the way feeling
and using anger
works best.
And you're totally right.
Once through those
steps, anger (like the
cortisone it releases),
moves the emotion
out of the category
of functional and into
the category of self-
destructive.
You've navigated those
rocky waters and come
through to a place that's
way more serene and
clear of vision.
Good for you!
Keep doin' what you're doin'.
Hugs and wishes
for great things
ahead.
onto another day of kicking ass!!
Thank you for sharing your victories!! You so eloquently remind us that healing is a process and that its all about progress, not perfection.
I think your clarity helps to inspire those who aren't out yet.
Welcome back!!