Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I talked to him on the phone and he was being all nice saying he needs to get money so he can take care of me, being all nice. Then we hung up and a coupld minutes later he called back, arguing w/ me a little. He says that i can't tell him what to do and that he will stop calling me names when he is ready because he is frustrated right now. And that if he stops now I will already know what it will be like later on...or something weird like that. He says he can tell me what to do but I can't tell him what to do ( i dont know if he was trying to be funny or serious). He thinks he can just stop calling me names whenever it good for him. I see myself trying to reel him back in all the time then once I do, its like i try to throw him back or something, cuz i know i won't be happy. But the other part of me doesnt want to give up on trying to be happy. Idk what im doing! its just so weird w/out him... i dont know who to be or where to start w/ my life. But it's bad that he has to stop calling me names when its the right time for him right?? If he really wanted me to be happy he would do it now?!
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My 6mo twin DD's are EBF and just started rice cereal on the first. Everything has been going fine except this morning one of them had a diaper rash (lots of redness around her anus). I read this as one of the signs of an allergy. BUT I did just buy a different brand diaper yesterday (which they have used randomly before w/no issues). Do you think its the cereal or the diaper? Im ready to start...
Question why o why do you think you are not worthy of a person treating you right. It can be deep and you may need help from a qualifed therapist.
This sounds like he is at least aware that he needs to be able to be financially supportive and not a drain on you. If you haven't gone the road of physical abuse stop here. This is where it usually starts with verbal abuse.
Let him say the "nice things" but be realistic and realize there are no prince charmings. We have to be self sufficent and hopefully find someone who is also. We woman fall into the trap with babies and all. The trick is to do all that without loosing your focus of what you are going to do to support your self if prince charming falls off his horse or rides right past us.
It appears you are really into this guy but why? Try writing a list of positive and negative.
Most woman half to relearn to fill the void within space of our lives where someone had once been apart of our lives.
You can do this. I slow rearragnded my daily schedule and began adding activitys that I liked and even house - lawn chores that needed to be done. I visited my friends more often and had girls lunchons w friends and made new friends and resume occassional horse back rideing, completely hobbies that I had started but never got around finishing and I even started putting together cardboard puzzles, I enjoying attending church service and I love being able to do so with out worrying about the whats ifs regarding some jerk & what jerk might say do and his justyres etc... My life became full and as it was becomeing full the more my thought of him was replace with new things and happiness and moments of actually LOL and joy.
The more you refill your life with life w/o your abuser the less and incressingly less you will think of him and the more you will focus on having a healthy life style w/o fear.
take time to notice men flirting w you.
check guys out at church.
chat not date guys at friends get together small partys & cook outs.
Stop accept yoyr abuser ph calls. stop communicating with him. Your leading him on are stinging him alone.
replace him with adult toy if required, just leave him alone.
If you require the feel of man go to club and slow dance but dont leave the club with men.
Speak with therapest and learn about yourself and obtain life tools that the therapest can provide you for each step of your recovery and reclaming your life and while gaining a new and emproved life.
If you require healthy hugs go to church.
When I wasnt looking nor could I have dream to dream of angle that God opened up the sky and drop him right beside me. He's more than white night and price charming. I truely didnt know nor had I believe that such great men actually ezested. I ran from my feeling of the man that God and God alone blessed me and my life with. I even went on 30 dy vacation running from my feelings for him.
After 1 yr of getting to know each other srtickly as friends, we began dateing and I pray that he will be the man with who Ill spend the rest of my life with. 4 yrs after we became friends we moved in together.
I enjoyed liveing by myself and had done so most of my life, so am still adjusting to shareing a home w another person.
He has his rm and I have mine. He has his life and I have mine and we share our lives together. And we cuddle on sofa on his days off & go out to eat at least 1 dy wk. he works outside the home. I mostly work on pc at home. We both are whole and give to each other from over flow and not from the core.
1/2 does not make a whole but can become a whole person. 2 halves do not make a whole nor can they became as such - the odds of 1 are both becomeing independantly whole while together is little over 99.9 % that they wont.
Again simply stop communicating with him and get your own life together. you can do it 1.000's of woman have already done this and 1.000's are already in process of reshapeing thier lives to become whole now.
Stay strong just incase your mind opts to trick you by getting you to think of good moments and times spent together and yep a person mind will try to surpress the bad memorys and even try to justifie his bulliness as being minute --- that is effects of his control abuse over you. Stay strong.
Unless the bully is 12 yrs old he has knowldge of shelters for males where he can stay in between the low self esteem girls who will occassional give him the time of day.
Thats thier problem. No one and I do mean no one can help him ecept for pdoc and not until he wants to be and Sweet Pea even when hes 50 he will still be bullying woman.
STOP COMMUNICATING with HIM
GET on LIVEING a LIFE.
Take care of yourself for yourself and for us on DS