Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I left yesterday. This is the 4th time I've left him. I pray it is the last time.
I woke up at 4:00 a.m. in this nasty motel room. I think I'm getting a cold. I have a headache. I have $400.00 to my name. All my stuff is at his house. I have no job and no place to live.
Even with all this, I'm better off than I was yesterday at 4:00 a.m. Yesterday at 4:00 a.m. I was hiding in the spare room, still shaking from the screaming abuse he'd thrown at me the night before.
I could go back today. He would be sorry. He would make promises to be different. He would tell me how much he loves and needs me. He would be better for a while, but he would not stop drinking. He would eventually go back to trying to control what I do, what I think and what I say. I would accommodate him again and then things would get worse and in 3 or 4 months or 3 or 4 weeks I would be frantic to get out again. In my heart I really know this. I really knew it the last time I came back.
I need to stay gone. I need to just stay gone. I have so much to do to rebuild a life. But for today, I just need to stay gone.
I woke up at 4:00 a.m. in this nasty motel room. I think I'm getting a cold. I have a headache. I have $400.00 to my name. All my stuff is at his house. I have no job and no place to live.
Even with all this, I'm better off than I was yesterday at 4:00 a.m. Yesterday at 4:00 a.m. I was hiding in the spare room, still shaking from the screaming abuse he'd thrown at me the night before.
I could go back today. He would be sorry. He would make promises to be different. He would tell me how much he loves and needs me. He would be better for a while, but he would not stop drinking. He would eventually go back to trying to control what I do, what I think and what I say. I would accommodate him again and then things would get worse and in 3 or 4 months or 3 or 4 weeks I would be frantic to get out again. In my heart I really know this. I really knew it the last time I came back.
I need to stay gone. I need to just stay gone. I have so much to do to rebuild a life. But for today, I just need to stay gone.
I dont like the things he said to you, they were uncalled for, You are gone and he has no right to tell you things like that. He is not a man in my eyes... no good man should ever put a lady down. You are fun and you are beautiful. His fun just isnt your type of fun.
He says he would never hurt you. You know that's a lie because you know how close he came to being physical. But more than that, he HAS hurt you. Emotionally he has hurt you over and over and over. His assertion that he wouldn't hurt you "really" is an assertion that your emotions don't matter. But they do.
The fact that you are still able to feel bad for him shows what a wonderful person you are. It IS sad, how these people end up. But it's their own doing. He would not be alone right now if he had treated you with any kind of respect. Even his "nice" texts aren't particularly nice, they are very self-serving. Excusing what he did by saying how good he is for what he didn't do. Kinda reminds me of when I accused my ex of not showing me respect, and he responded that he is now showing respect. When I asked how, he said "I haven't hit you in a while". Oh boy, what's wrong with me to not see that as the mark of a wonderful, loving husband - that he hasn't hit me "in a while". Yours was doing the same thing "I'm wonderful because in spite of everything (meaning, everything you do wrong) I managed not to hit you". Wow, bully for him, what a guy.
Keep on keeping on, you are doing great. And yes, it will get easier. It may sometimes also get harder for a little while, but stay the course and it will get much, much easier.