Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
After a year I've started dating again, and since "him" I haven't had a spark with anybody. I've tried to let feelings grow on me but nothing. I've even struggled finding anybody sexually attractive for that year..even strangers. I've honestly thought something was wrong with me.
The other night I went to a bar and instantly was attracted to a guy there. I was relieved that I was actually feeling.. something! We got chatting and he was lovely, he kissed me before he went. He continued to text me every day that week and asked me out for a drink. I really liked him and he kissed me before I left and things got quite heated (just touching) and I told him I wasn't ready for anything like that. I even explained to him that I was worried he only wanted sex from me, and I don't want to be just another girl. He told me he wouldn't have gone to the effort of taking me out if he was only after sex. He later asked me when we would be having sex, as it'd be a "travesty not to". I left after this comment, and a lot of old feelings about only being good enough for sex and not a loving relationship came flooding back,
He's carried on texting me but takes hours to reply. During this time I feel so anxious and crap. I even found his twitter and have seen flirty tweets to various women, also during the time he's not bothering to text me back. I've even curiously looked at these beautiful girls and started comparing myself with them which has made me feel worse. They all have busy lives and are flirty and confident and if I didn't mention already, beautiful. I have been doing anything to keep busy but am constantly thinking about him, and if he'll even text again. Yet I've already decided I want nothing more to do with him. I feel pathetic, I've seen this guy twice and am getting upset about him talking to other girls etc.
What is wrong with me? I'm starting to think I'm attracted to people who treat me badly?
The other night I went to a bar and instantly was attracted to a guy there. I was relieved that I was actually feeling.. something! We got chatting and he was lovely, he kissed me before he went. He continued to text me every day that week and asked me out for a drink. I really liked him and he kissed me before I left and things got quite heated (just touching) and I told him I wasn't ready for anything like that. I even explained to him that I was worried he only wanted sex from me, and I don't want to be just another girl. He told me he wouldn't have gone to the effort of taking me out if he was only after sex. He later asked me when we would be having sex, as it'd be a "travesty not to". I left after this comment, and a lot of old feelings about only being good enough for sex and not a loving relationship came flooding back,
He's carried on texting me but takes hours to reply. During this time I feel so anxious and crap. I even found his twitter and have seen flirty tweets to various women, also during the time he's not bothering to text me back. I've even curiously looked at these beautiful girls and started comparing myself with them which has made me feel worse. They all have busy lives and are flirty and confident and if I didn't mention already, beautiful. I have been doing anything to keep busy but am constantly thinking about him, and if he'll even text again. Yet I've already decided I want nothing more to do with him. I feel pathetic, I've seen this guy twice and am getting upset about him talking to other girls etc.
What is wrong with me? I'm starting to think I'm attracted to people who treat me badly?
What's wrong with him? Loads of things!
He is not a catch, he's a slut! Trust me, in a few months you'll be proud of yourself for not giving yourself to him, this is a great learning curve. You set a boundary and you stuck to it. Don't feel bad because he's an arsehole. It says nothing about you what so ever the way he is! The only thing that speaks volumes is your actions. So u dipped your toe in the water, well good, how will u ever grow and practice boundaries without doing so? Point being is that u only dipped your toe.
If he isn't texting you it's not because your not pretty enough or nice enough or good enough, it's because your not easy enough!
WELL DONE TO YOU!!!!
Self respect is a great achievement!
Now allow yourself to feel disappointed because let's face it, he turned out to be a disappointment (not you!) and then in your mind drop the dirt bag, go nc, delete his ass out of your life, will he regret it, no, because he only cares about an orgasm and a confidence boost, but that only shows how unconfident he really is!
Godismyhonor: this is a beautiful tip. I love it.
By focusing on myself and taking care of my own needs and really giving myself what I need, I find I am losing tolerance very quickly with those who do not respect the mutuality of any given relationship! If it's all about them, they are a wrong'n!! Sorry again hunny! I hope some of this makes sense and helps! I feel like I have a masters degree in this type of F**KWIT at this point!!
Really hope something I said will help! All the best! Onward and upwards! And like everyone else says, HE is the one with the problem! And sooner or later these guys WILL hit a big wall like every other addict always does! You can bet on it!!
XX
Blessings!!!