Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Starting to feel overwhelmed.
Quiet apartment, glue is drying on all my projects, knuckles are still banged up...
I'm just starting to get back my will to live. I don't want to go to prison. Even if this detective also sees that the case is a joke, they're just going to keep coming. To keep trying. He's a narc, and I'm a threat to him. And he won't believe me when I say I'm not, and even if he did, demonizing me binds her to him. I can't even go to the cops, because it's the cops they're using against me.
I did a diagram of all the slander, all the lies, all the hateful things I've heard about myself, and said to myself. Every one of them Either originates with him or my wife. 28 individual attacks I can remember, and I can't find a trace of any one of them originating from anyone else. Although others did use them against me soon after I learned they shared the 'concerns' with my other friends.
I can't even bring myself to audition for anything right now, because the shows are overlapping the court dates.
Even if I survive, even if I put my life back together, even if I figure it all out... even if I don't. it doesn't matter. They're never going to leave me alone, no matter how much I leave them alone. They don't even want to destroy me - I'm just a centipede who gives them a jolt of power whenever they pull off a leg. And I only have so many left.
Just down tonight.
Quiet apartment, glue is drying on all my projects, knuckles are still banged up...
I'm just starting to get back my will to live. I don't want to go to prison. Even if this detective also sees that the case is a joke, they're just going to keep coming. To keep trying. He's a narc, and I'm a threat to him. And he won't believe me when I say I'm not, and even if he did, demonizing me binds her to him. I can't even go to the cops, because it's the cops they're using against me.
I did a diagram of all the slander, all the lies, all the hateful things I've heard about myself, and said to myself. Every one of them Either originates with him or my wife. 28 individual attacks I can remember, and I can't find a trace of any one of them originating from anyone else. Although others did use them against me soon after I learned they shared the 'concerns' with my other friends.
I can't even bring myself to audition for anything right now, because the shows are overlapping the court dates.
Even if I survive, even if I put my life back together, even if I figure it all out... even if I don't. it doesn't matter. They're never going to leave me alone, no matter how much I leave them alone. They don't even want to destroy me - I'm just a centipede who gives them a jolt of power whenever they pull off a leg. And I only have so many left.
Just down tonight.
(((HUGS)))
Please don't be sorry. I am so sorry you are going through this. I also feel the truth will come out.
I know it is so hard, but try and hang in there.
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))
I'm glad I took the risk. The responses I got here, over the next two days, made me laugh, grin like an idiot, want to be silly and playful, to crack jokes, made me feel warm and in good company - some of the best company, actually. I say I'm awesome (occasionally) but it is only by being around awesome people that I feel free to be awesome. WE are awesome.
I'd like to also point out in my original post - looking back, I see I omitted myself four times (I'm Sorry, I'm starting, My knuckles, I'm just down.) Looking back, I'm also not real comfortable with comparing myself to a centipede - I dispise bugs, I have for years. And I dismiss my very valid pain and worry as "Just (merely) down" inviting everyone to ignore me. I wonder at the capitalization of the word Either in the middle of the sentance - I wanted to bring it forward, although darned if I know why now!
And now a laugh - it's not just the abusers I do it to! Actaully, to be honest, I can do it to them BECAUSE I've had so much practice doing it to myself. Because of the 'gifts' my wife has given me through her cruelty. I vow to only use these powers for good, and not for evil - with great power comes great responsibility!
http://www.paperspencils.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Paladins.jpg
Just a suggestion!