that should read DONT WE not done we..........god im so tired tonight......lol.........xxx

You will miss the house I'm sure. You might miss the space. You might look back and remember all the love you put into it
but...
you might just look back and think good Gawd I'm glad I'm out of there!
if you stayed at that house, it would be filled, absolutely filled to the brim with bad bad memories. Believe me. I am there right now & everywhere I look I still see him & I can't get away from it. You would remember the time he did this and made you feel that & then there was the other time you were standing right here & he did this or that..
The house would haunt you.
the things would haunt you.
I'm soooooo envious of you & your new fresh start & so happy for you as well!
and no..it's not a step down in society because you have been living a lie to the outside world anyway. Everyone looking in sees this greatness but you know the torture that happens behind that lovely door & that you are leaving to a smaller flat is a victory for your life.
who cares what anyone else thinks anyway! Anyone that would judge doesn't belong in your life.
Surround yourself with loving, kind, sensitive people & leave all the ugliness behind.
Big hugs & lots of love to you & your new life free of abuse!!
You'll be freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
xoxo
gogo

Gogo - THANK YOU XXXXX

You're welcome! Just think. Nothing in your home to trigger bad memories. You'll struggle just at the change istelf. You don't need to struggle looking around you at broken dreams. Instead you'll look around yourself and your new home and make new dreams that can become a reality.
Wishing you the best! You're very strong and very brave and we're all here tol support, care and share the love!
Xoxo

I moved out of a HUGE house to a much smaller one...and yes I miss my extravagant jacuzzi bathtub, the awesome appliances, theater room, heated garage, all my furniture, cooking supplies, etc.

What I don't miss?
Cleaning all that house, and even more the horrible way I was treated when I lived there.

I love my much cozier smaller house, because it's MINE. No bad memories. I can manage it myself and keep it clean.

I'd rather have less and not be abused. Period.

Newstart...I had to leave the home I had lived in for 30 years. But you know what, I didn't miss it. It was so full of bad memories. I am still friends w/ my old next door neighbor, and when I'm at her house, and look over, I feel some sadness, that he has let it go so badly, that he would never take that property and make it into what it deserved to be. An acre on a lake....terraced, it was gorgeous.

But every time I look at it, it's just bad memories, pain and heart ache.

I moved into a small condo that I rented while I waited...for 4 1/2 years.. Less than half the space. And more than double or triple the happiness. And joy. My friends could come over when ever they wanted. My son could have an impromptu sleepover....I missed the space, but that was a small thing compared to what I got from it.

Last summer I got most of my portion of our estate, and bought a home. It's not on the lake, but I LOVE it. It is mine. I just had 2 rooms painted that came out perfect!!! No noise in the background, no one telling me everything I did was stupid, or wrong or whatever.

We get to, as someone told me in my journal today, shape our lives. And we can do it, and it can turn out better than we ever imagined.

If "society" judges you by the size of your house...then they ought to spend a day in your shoes. You will find some people judge you and some people, just support you, knowing you are the one who has to make the decisions for your life.

big hugs...

I left the beautiful home I designed. It was big too. As the marriage deteriorated, It felt more like a mausoleum. I didn't take a lot of stuff other than my personal belongings & I'm glad I didn't because if I had, or if I had stayed, the energy of the bad memories would have been hard to get past.

I now rent a tiny house and while I do miss my bathroom (it was like a spa :-), I am SO much happier. I don't feel like I took a step down. Yeah my finances aren't as good as they would have been if I had stayed, but I am SO much more at peace. And, I finally get to decorate the way I want to.

Just an added plus - I don't have to worry about taking care of the property or cleaning that big ol house!

Home is where our heart is and we can make it whatever we want! I have a feeling that once you're out you won't miss it all that much.

Hugs!

It's hard when we have to make these decisions and I understand how you feel. Having worked my entire life, I ended up in a bedsit for nearly 2 years - but at least I was safe and free of my abuser.

I now have a home together again and life is returning to normal. It can be hard, but it's so worth it!

Take care

A humble, self-possessed cave
will be more empowering
than a gilded cage
that holds you
prisoner.

omg, ILENE.

THE BEST!!!!!!!!!

coudn't have said it better!!!!

(and while there are many things I miss about my massive house and gorgeous yard and garden, and fantastic neighbours, I freaking love my tiny basement suite with only one bathroom to clean, and no yard work, and I can decorate it the way I want, clean or not clean it the way I want, sleep alone my bed, my bedroom, my clothes on the floor, my jewelry on the dresser, no HIM making my life freaking miserable..)

so worth it.

so, so , so worth it.

Memories are where you make it and with whom!
I left my house back there, with a good riddance! You could paint the walls a different color weekly, and the hatred, hurt was still seeping through!
I love my new home! Another one will come along, just perfect for you. Your apartment is a temporary stepping stone!
Laugh, smile, bide ur time there, it will only be a minute!
Hugs to you!

You'll miss it in the beginning, but then you will associate all the bad memories with the house.

I had to downsize too. I loved "my things". But as I was packing and paring down I realized that that is all they are - just things. I found it easier to donate them because I really didn't need them. All I needed was my kids, family and friends.

I still visit my old neighbors on the street. I look at the house and think about how perfect I wanted my life to be there, but I'm happier to be out of that charade.

Time will make it better.